How The “I Met My Younger Self For Coffee Today” Trend Can Impact Mental Health
Social media trends are specific formats for posts on platforms like Instagram or TikTok that any user can customize and repost. They can vary widely, from viral dance moves to makeup trends to self-reflection exercises. A recent trend on TikTok is the “I met my younger self for coffee today” concept, inspired by a poem and customized and reposted by thousands. Below, examine what this trend entails, how to try this self-reflection exercise, the potential impacts of this trend on mental health, and how to seek mental health support.
What is the “I met my younger self for coffee today” trend?
This social media trend is based on a poem by Jennae Cecilia from her collection, “Deep In My Feels.” The poem is about the author imagining herself sitting down with a younger version for a conversation over iced coffee. She reflects on the worries and struggles her younger self was facing at the time and imagines her current self-offering wisdom and reassurance. The poem has inspired many people to engage in this exercise themselves and share their takeaways, either as videos or text. Many have found it valuable to reflect on how far they’ve come, which provides a sense of reassurance and hope for the future.
How to try the “coffee with my younger self” exercise
This viral social media trend has inspired many people to engage in the same exercise. You can too, whether you decide to share your takeaways with others or keep them to yourself. To get started, it may be helpful to find a quiet place where you have ample time to reflect without interruption. Then, you might choose a specific age of your younger self that you'd like to “meet” with. Visualization can be helpful in this process. You can imagine what your younger self at this age looks like, what they're wearing, how they're carrying themselves, and the setting of the café where you choose to meet.
Then, reflect on and try to recall what your life was like at this time. What were your younger self's greatest concerns, and what did they hope for the future? How might your current self be able to reassure them? How would your younger self feel when learning about who and where you are now?
You can approach this primarily as a thought exercise, or you can jot down notes about your thoughts and feelings. Some people choose to turn their reflections into a social media post to share online. Others keep their reflections to themselves, either writing them in a journal, creating visual art inspired by them, or taking another approach that seems beneficial. While posting about “meeting my younger self for coffee” is popular on social media right now, you can adapt this exercise to use it in whatever way is most helpful and comfortable for you.
“I met my younger self for coffee today” questions to help you get started
There are no rules for the “meeting my younger self for coffee” exercise; it can take any form you like, and you can ask your younger self anything. If you’re looking for inspiration to get started, try the following questions:
- How old is my younger self in this exercise?
- What is my younger self wearing?
- How do they seem (confident, nervous, sad, speaking softly, etc.)?
- What would they order from the café counter?
- What was I most worried about at this age?
- What were my dreams for the future at this age?
- Who were the prominent people in my life during this period (e.g., parents, friends, partners)? How did I feel about them?
- How do I feel toward my younger self in this moment?
- Which words of reassurance or advice might my younger self need to hear?
Preparing yourself for the possible mental health effects of this exercise
Before beginning this exercise, it can be helpful to prepare yourself mentally. For some people, imagining meeting up with their younger self can incite intense emotions, such as grief or painful reminders of past trauma.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
Engaging in activities that make you comfortable and cozy, such as taking a warm bath or going for a walk in the park, can also be beneficial. If you’re concerned about how this exercise might affect you, consider doing it with the support and guidance of a therapist.
How this social media trend can affect mental health
Social media trends—and social media itself—can have varying effects on an individual's mental health. For some, the “coffee with my younger self” exercise offers a sense of peace and reassurance. They may find it fulfilling to reflect on how far they've come and appreciate the ways in which they've grown. Advising and reassuring their younger self may provide some comfort, and reflecting on all the obstacles they’ve already overcome may reduce anxiety about the future.
However, be aware that, in other cases, this exercise can be difficult or even traumatic. “Meeting” a version of your younger self who was going through or about to go through a difficult time could be challenging. The exercise may remind you of painful memories you'd forgotten or reopen past wounds. If you’re uncertain about your current life situation, this type of self-reflection may cause anxiety or impact your self-esteem, especially if you’re comparing your experiences to those in other posts on this topic. For this reason, a person who has experienced past trauma or is currently experiencing mental health challenges may want to avoid this type of exercise until they can engage in it with the support of a therapist.
Ultimately, you may remind yourself that people are all constantly evolving and changing, and that every stage of life presents both challenges and joys. While many people on social media use this exercise to appreciate themselves for overcoming challenges or reaching their goals, the fruits of self-reflection aren't always this positive or straightforward. On social media, many people tend to accentuate the positives and gloss over difficulties and challenges. Keeping this factor in mind may help you maintain a more balanced view of this trend, other people, and yourself.
The potential benefits of self-reflection
As long as you are safe and have the support you need, engaging in self-reflection can often be a constructive experience. According to some research, self-reflection may increase self-awareness and strengthen a person's sense of identity. If you're interested in self-reflection but the “coffee with my younger self” trend doesn't appeal to you, there are other options to explore.
(H3) Other ways to engage in self-reflection besides the “coffee with my younger self” social media exercise
Self-reflection can take many different forms. Other exercises to consider can include the following:
- Writing based on specific journal prompts found online or from your therapist
- Cutting out magazine clippings that speak to you and making a collage
- Looking at past journal entries or photos of your younger self and writing about what comes to mind
- Using a digital journaling app regularly, like Daylio or Grid Diary
- Watching a movie or reading a book you used to love and reflecting on how your perspective on it has or has not changed
- Listing aspects of your past and present that you’re grateful for
- Imagining what it would be like to get coffee with your older self or future self-five, 10, or 20 years from now
- Speaking to someone who knew you when you were young and reflecting on their perceptions of your growth
Getting support for personal growth in therapy
A therapist can be a valuable or critical resource for individuals seeking to engage in profound self-reflection or pursue personal growth. A therapist can offer reflection exercises, provide emotional support when difficulties arise, and treat symptoms of any underlying mental health conditions, like anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Considering online therapy
Although many people find therapy to be helpful, not everyone can attend traditional, in-person sessions. Some people might not be able to regularly travel to and from in-office appointments. Others may feel nervous about meeting with a provider face-to-face or find regular sessions to be too expensive.
In such cases, online therapy can often be a more convenient alternative. With a platform like BetterHelp, you can be matched with a licensed therapist and then meet with them remotely from the comfort of your own home or anywhere you have internet access. If you aren’t comfortable speaking with your provider via video call, you can also communicate via phone call or in-app messaging. Plus, online therapy tends to be more affordable than in-person therapy without insurance. Research suggests that, in many cases, online therapy can be equally effective and provide similar outcomes to in-person therapy.
Takeaway
How to do the “Met My Younger Self” trend?
To do this trend, imagine yourself at a younger age and think about what it would be like if you could speak to that person. You might consider what that version of yourself would be wearing, how they would be acting, and what they would be worried about or excited about in life. You can then compile your thoughts and observations into a social media post, or you can keep them for yourself in a journal or make art based on your reflections.
Who wrote the poem “I Met My Younger Self for Coffee”?
The “I met my younger self for coffee” social media trend is based on a poem written by Jennae Cecilia. She’s a poet who shares her work on social media, and this particular work is from her collection, “Deep In My Feels.” The poem evolved into a social media trend, where people created posts based on their own reflections of meeting a version of their younger self.
What would you do if you met your younger self?
People have long been fascinated with the concept of meeting a younger version of oneself. Imagining this interaction can be a useful tool for self-reflection.
What is a three-word bit of advice to my younger self?
Below are some three-word bits of advice and compliments people can use for their past selves:
- “I love you.”
- “Don’t give up.”
- “Look inside yourself.”
- “I’m so proud.”
- “Let them go.”
- “Wait and see.”
- “Remember your worth.”
- “Stop giving everything.”
- “Never stop loving.”
- “Keep your sensitivity.”
- “Please be yourself.”
What do I say to my younger self?
When writing a letter to or conversing with your inner child or past self-inspired by the TikTok trend, consider the following topics to talk about:
- Explore what made your inner child anxious, and knowing what you know now, offer them direction on how to cope with the symptoms.
- Reflect on what would make your younger self most surprised about your journey to adulthood.
- What would make your inner child happiest if you could rewrite their experiences?
- Let your inner child have a good cry and hold them in your mind’s eye, reminding them they’re safe.
- What were your favorite aspects of your younger self’s style? For example, if they wore leggings with dresses often, consider wearing this outfit as an adult to reconnect with your younger self’s style.
- Listen to music you used to love as a child and write about everything it reminds you of.
How do you love your younger self?
Loving your younger self can be difficult, especially if you judge yourself for past decisions or behaviors. You might find yourself cringy, annoying, or immature. However, remind yourself that who you used to be was doing their best with what they knew and their developmental level. It’s normal to look back and have some shame, as people are meant to grow from their mistakes. Be gentle and validating to what you went through and if you notice negative thoughts arising, try to replace them with more positive ideas.
How do you reconnect with your younger self?
You might reconnect with your younger self in many ways, including but not limited to the following:
- Listen to your favorite childhood music
- Complete an item off your childhood bucket list
- Do something fun that adults generally don’t do, such as jumping on a trampoline, going to an amusement park by yourself, or buying a collectable you wanted as a kid
- Color in a coloring book
- Watch your favorite childhood TV show or movie
- Talk to a childhood friend
- Write a story about your childhood
- Send a gift to a childhood teacher who positively impacted you
- Look at old photos of yourself and find similarities in your appearance to your appearance now
- Look in the mirror and look at your eyes and remind yourself they are the same eyes that your child self had
How do you love yourself with low self-esteem?
If you have low self-esteem, you might increase self-love by telling yourself you will try. Trying to improve self-love is an act of self-love because it means you love yourself enough to try to improve how you treat yourself. It means you know that low self-esteem is bad for you. Therapy can also be a helpful option. Keep practicing self-care, talk to loved ones, and journal about your thoughts.
What is an example of a message to myself?
Below are some messages you could give to yourself:
- “You are worthy of love.”
- “I want to be the love you couldn’t find in others.”
- “I am proud of how hard you work.”
- “You are so important.”
- “Even when I struggle to love you, I promise to try.”
- “Your place in this world makes a positive difference.”
- “Your resilience is so powerful.”
- “I love how you inspire others.”
- “You are worth as much as you give to others.”
How do you make peace with your younger self?
If you’re upset with your younger self, try to remind yourself that they were doing their best at the time. Even if they weren’t, they were younger, and you have learned since then. You can’t change the past, but you can forgive yourself. No one else can forgive you for you. At the end of the day, the person who comes home with the feelings of hatred or shame is you. Working through these feelings is your responsibility, and doing so can help you learn to love who you are today, too.
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