Boost Your Self-Care Routine With These Positive Reinforcement Quotes

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW and Nikki Ciletti, M.Ed, LPC
Updated October 23, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

When you’re having a tough day or gearing up for a difficult task, it can help to have something to look forward to after overcoming the challenge. It might be a special meal, a meetup with a friend, or a relaxing evening on the couch: whatever activity calms you down and “refills” your metaphorical cup.

Whether big or small, life’s rewards can inspire you to push through challenging moments and keep you committed to your daily routines and long-term goals.

In the field of psychology, researchers describe this concept as positive reinforcement, which was used by behavioral researcher B.F. Skinner in 1937. 

Skinner studied positive reinforcement in the context of operant conditioning, the process in which behavioral change (i.e., learning) occurs based on the consequences of that behavior. According to this model, people and animals are often more likely to learn and adopt behaviors with positive or beneficial outcomes.

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Struggling to find time for self-care in your busy life?

What does all of this mean for your self-care routine? In this article, we’ll discuss how you can tap into the power of positive reinforcement psychology to improve your self-care plan, with three inspirational quotes to keep you motivated along the way.

What is positive reinforcement?

Positive reinforcement is a phrase related to Skinner’s study of operant conditioning. In your everyday life, positive reinforcement roughly equates to the meaning of reward. However, the complete definition is a bit more precise: according to the American Psychological Association (APA), positive reinforcement is “an increase in the probability of occurrence of some activity because that activity results in the presentation of a stimulus or of some circumstance.”

To increase the likelihood of a certain behavior, this stimulus, or reinforcer, should typically be something enjoyable or rewarding. For example, if you commit to making yourself a delicious smoothie after every workout, you may be more likely to stick to your routine in anticipation of the post-workout treat. 

Other daily examples of positive reinforcement

  • Giving your child an allowance or sticker (the reinforcer) after they complete their weekly chores might make them more likely to help around the house in the future
  • Awarding an employee a bonus after they complete a special project (the reinforcer), which may encourage them to take on more projects
  • Feeding your dog a small treat (the reinforcer) whenever they let you know they need to go outside, which may prompt them to do the same in the future

In each of these examples, notice there is a behavior and a reinforcer, and in each situation, the reinforcer increases the likelihood of the behavior.

What is negative reinforcement?

Importantly, negative reinforcement is not the same as punishment. Instead, according to the APA, it is the “removal, prevention, or postponement of an aversive stimulus as a consequence of a response, which, in turn, increases the probability of that response.” For example, you might hear an intermittent alarm in your car that sounds until you put your seatbelt on. You may then fasten your seatbelt to get rid of the sound of the alarm.

In your daily routine, you can apply both negative and positive reinforcement to increase the likelihood of healthy behaviors.

Positive reinforcement quotes to support your self-care journey

The following quotes come from psychologists, writers, and other thinkers on the topic of positive reinforcement. We’ll unpack each quote, explain how it relates to self-care, and consider how you can apply it to your own life.

On implementing positive reinforcement

“The way positive reinforcement is carried out is more important than the amount.” – B.F. Skinner

In Meditations for Parents Who Do Too Much, authors Jonathon and Wendy Lazear note that while positive reinforcement can be a powerful parenting tool, children often begin to tune out positive reinforcement when they’re showered with rewards and praise. They “know the difference between a gratuitous gesture and a heartfelt hug,” they write.

As one of the first scientists to identify and study positive reinforcement, B.F. Skinner understood this reality all too well. A carefully crafted statement of praise or a well-deserved reward is more likely to create lasting, positive changes in behavior. 

If you’re a parent or caregiver, you might apply this quote in several ways. As a parent, you may offer words of praise with more thought and attention and save high-quality rewards for truly special occasions. 

Even as an individual, you might consider prioritizing quality rewards over quantity. For example, waiting until Friday evening to reward yourself with a delicious takeout meal might be more impactful than sprinkling smaller rewards throughout the week. 

Of course, this approach to self-care may not be true for everyone, and you shouldn’t feel like you’re depriving yourself during the week. You might check in with your needs throughout the day, be gentle with yourself, and allow for flexibility as you develop a personal rewards system.

Positive reinforcement vs. self-criticism

“Positive reinforcement changes behavior for the better, while criticism stabilizes negative behaviors and blocks change.” – ​Virginia H. Pearce

Author Virginia H. Pearce writes about positive reinforcement in a religious context. While your spiritual and religious beliefs may differ from Pearce’s, many readers resonate with the connection between self-criticism, positive reinforcement, and self-care.

More often than not, we are our own worst critics. While striving for excellence can be motivating, striving for perfection can lead to harmful behaviors that prevent positive change. 

As you find ways to positively reinforce healthy behaviors, consider areas of your life where you might be applying too much pressure or imposing unrealistically high standards that keep you from enjoying life or growing in a healthy, sustainable way. 

For example, do you criticize your athletic abilities so much that you refuse to join your local sports team, even if it could improve your social and physical wellness? Do you constantly critique your appearance to the point that it gets in the way of your dating life?

You might take a moment to reflect on your internal critic and consider alternative perspectives and behaviors that could improve your health, happiness, and contentment. 

Positive reinforcement as a form of love

“What is love except another name for the use of positive reinforcement? Or vice versa.” – B.F. Skinner

As the original researcher of positive reinforcement, B.F. Skinner offers plenty of quotes for us to apply to our self-care routines. 

In his book Walden Two, B.F. Skinner describes positive reinforcement as a form of love. While people define “love” in various ways, we’ll focus on self-love. As defined by the APA, self-love is “regard for and interest in one’s own being or contentment.” This may include giving yourself enough attention, coming to peace with yourself, and engaging in acts of self-care.

It may take a lifetime to foster self-love and to develop a supportive self-care plan that makes you feel content in your mind and body. As you discover what self-love means to you, feel free to reference this quote as a reminder that small but meaningful rewards can enrich your life with love.

In addition to self-love, you might take time to show appreciation for your friends and loved ones and honor their good deeds and traits with small acts of love. Scheduled quality time, a handwritten letter, or even a homemade batch of biscuits can be an expression of love, care, and respect for the people in your life.

Learn more about positive reinforcement in therapy

If you want to apply the principles of positive reinforcement to your daily life, a therapist may be able to help you develop strategies and ideas to enhance your self-care routine.

A growing number of people are using online therapy to improve their mental health while balancing a busy lifestyle. Digital therapy platforms like BetterHelp make it easy to connect with a board-certified therapist. Within approximately 24-48 hours, you can be matched with a licensed therapist based on your unique needs, history, and mental health goals. Every BetterHelp therapist has at least three years of professional experience, and some have specialized knowledge in positive reinforcement, positive psychology, and other therapeutic research. You can connect with your therapist via audio or video chat, in addition to contacting them in between sessions via in-app messaging.

Studies show that online therapy can be just as effective as traditional in-office options. One 2020 study assessed the effectiveness of an online program to cultivate mindfulness and self-compassion skills. Based on figures from 456 participants with heightened depression, anxiety, or stress, the program appeared to reduce their stress and anxiety while promoting greater mindfulness and self-compassion. 

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Struggling to find time for self-care in your busy life?

Takeaway

At first glance, positive reinforcement might seem like a complex psychological concept, but it can be readily applied to your daily life. Over time, positive reinforcement can have a powerful effect on your self-care plan, daily routines, and most importantly relationships.

A therapist can help you use positive reinforcement to foster self-love and improve the quality of your life. Add these quotes to your journal, put them on a sticky note by your bedside, or simply keep them in mind as you work toward a healthier, more loving version of yourself.

You are deserving of positive self-esteem
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