What Is Self Esteem? Definition And Mental Health Connection
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." –Buddha
Positive psychology is an area of psychology focused on mental health, happiness, and enjoyment of life. As part of this realm, self-esteem has been a popular topic of discussion in recent decades. Understanding what self-esteem is, what it affects in life, and how to strengthen your self-esteem could help you cultivate healthier relationships, reach your goals, and support your overall mental health and well-being.
The American Psychological Association defines self-esteem as “the degree to which the qualities and characteristics contained in one’s self-concept are perceived to be positive.”
What is self-esteem?
The level of confidence you have in yourself
How you feel about your own mistakes and the mistakes of others
How well you recognize your strengths and accept your limitations
Whether you tend to be more optimistic or pessimistic
How well you take care of yourself emotionally and physically
How independent you are
Whether you can set boundaries comfortably
How comfortable you are with your emotions
How much you can express the emotions you're feeling
How much respect you have for yourself
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." –Buddha
Self-esteem is your opinion of yourself – How to boost it
Building self-esteem is a process of challenging negative beliefs about ourselves and cultivating positive relationships. While self-esteem issues can fluctuate according to life events, lower self-esteem can affect every domain of our lives, as well as our relationship to ourselves and others. Below are some tips that can help improve your self-esteem, increasing the ability to cope with what life throws at us:
Aim to stop comparing yourself to others
Bear in mind that the images we see of others, such as on social media, rarely represent the full picture of who they are and the challenges they may encounter
Say positive things about yourself in front of a mirror, or write them down and read them aloud or quietly
Avoid taking recreational drugs as a way to cope with the negative things in your life
Include some form of physical activity into your routine, as exercise can positively affect mood and help release tension
Aim to accept compliments instead of refuting them by saying a simple thank you, and then consider the positive words that were said about you
Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself
Consider talking therapies to discuss your personal life and find support for your concerns
Challenge negative thinking patterns by practicing mindfulness
Try self-compassion, which involves treating yourself kindly in the way you would treat a friend. Some studies also indicate that it provides similar benefits to higher self-esteem but doesn't involve comparison to others.
Causes of low self-esteem
For many people, poor self-esteem can stem from trauma, neglect, bullying, and other adverse life experiences. When ingrained social pressures and unrealistic standards lead to constantly comparing ourselves to others, it may also be harder to feel positive about who we are. Living with a serious illness, grieving the loss of a loved one, or staying in an unhealthy relationship can also compound self-doubt.
The importance of how we value and perceive ourselves
When looking at how to improve self-esteem, some people may wonder if having high self-esteem is inherently positive. While healthy self-esteem is linked with positive outcomes in life across various domains, it's important to distinguish it from narcissism, which involves a misguided or inflated sense of self-worth. Studies suggest that to build confidence in one's abilities and traits, the goal is to foster self-acceptance and self-respect—on our own terms.
How to know if your self-esteem level is healthy
Self-esteem can exist on a spectrum. Someone might have high self-esteem when they love themselves and feel confident in their actions. When their self-esteem is low, however, they might experience self-loathing, pessimism, or even destructive behaviors. Below are a few ways to evaluate whether your general levels of self-esteem may be healthy or whether they may be holding you back.
The Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale
The Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale is a ten-question test that measures your self-esteem by evaluating your answers to questions related to how you feel about yourself.
As you go through the test, you’re asked to indicate whether you agree or disagree with each of the ten statements. After you answer the questions, you use the accompanying scoring system to grade the test. Your result can range from 0-30 points. The test suggests that 13–25 is within the normal range for healthy self esteem, with under 13 potentially indicating low self-esteem, and over 25 potentially indicating especially high self-esteem. While you can take this test on your own online, it may be helpful to have it administered by a therapist or to meet with them to discuss your results and strategies that could help you build self-esteem. Understanding your score can provide insight into how much you value yourself and recognize your worth, which is fundamental to overall mental health.
Is an elevated sense of self-esteem healthy?
Some people associate healthy or good self-esteem with being self-absorbed and lacking empathy. However, positive self-esteem is not about disregarding others. In contrast, you may not be able to interact with others in a healthy way if you aren’t able to recognize that you're also a worthwhile person who is capable of positive actions.
If you don't have the self-esteem to care for your needs and desires, you might unknowingly try to receive all of the validation and care you need from others instead of supporting these in yourself as well. Maintaining a balanced level of self-esteem is important for mental health, as it helps you navigate relationships and life challenges more effectively. Therefore, cultivating healthy self-esteem may help you feel more stable so you can engage with those in your life from a place of worth and confidence.
Note, however, that people with excessive levels of self-confidence may demonstrate narcissistic tendencies. They might view themselves as being on such a high level in their mind that they matter more than and care less about those around them. However, studies suggest that people with narcissistic tendencies often actually have low self-esteem and self-regard, despite what their actions may seem to indicate. For this reason, narcissistic behavior is not always considered an attribute of high self-esteem.
Potential advantages of improved self-esteem
Finding effective ways to improve self-esteem could provide several benefits, including but not limited to the following:
Feeling more equipped to meet some of your own needs for validation
A desire to work toward your goals persistently and effectively
Enjoyment of richer, more satisfying relationships
Being able to recognize, question, and shift negative thoughts
Accepting the past and looking forward to the future
A sense of being more at peace with yourself and others
Worrying less about what others think of you
When you'reable to meet many of your own needs, such as for validation— you might notice that you don't concern yourself as much with what other people think of you. In this way, the work of cultivating a healthy sense of self-esteem could help you feel more stable in your relationships with yourself and others.
Questions to ask yourself about self-image
Improving your self-esteem usually takes time and effort, but it is generally possible. A few tips that may help you improve self-esteem are as follows.
Do I want to love myself more?
What specific behaviors can I learn to feel more self-sufficient?
What are three qualities I have that I want to expand on?
What are three qualities I have that I want to change?
What parts of me do I value despite the opinions of others?
What would I want to think about myself if I was the only person in my life?
Below are a few other suggestions for improving your self-esteem over time.
Practice speaking to yourself in a positive way
Self-verbalization refers to the words you associate with yourself verbally or the thoughts you have about yourself during the average day. You may have developed many of these throughout your life, beginning at a young age. These messages—whether about your own abilities, body image, or something else— may have initially come from your family and the culture you grew up in as a child and may be reinforced by social media and peers today. If they were negative, they could be deeply affecting your confidence.
To combat these ingrained messages, learning to replace negative self-talk with more positive self-talk could help. Positive self-talk may help you improve well-being, boost self-esteem, and increase stress resilience, so incorporating practices that can help it become a habit into your daily routine could be worthwhile. For example, you might write and then repeat a set of positive affirmations to yourself daily, such as:
"I am deserving of my love and attention."
"I am doing my best, and I am proud of myself."
"I am lovable."
"My opinion of myself is valuable."
"I will improve my self-esteem."
"I deserve to feel comfortable in my skin."
Try to make these positive statements to yourself when you are relaxed and focused. You can also say them when you are thinking negative messages about yourself. During these times, the positive input you give yourself might feel "silly" at first. The more you practice affirmations and positive thinking, the more it might impact how you think.
You can also try pointing out positive aspects about yourself to others. If you routinely tell others that you’re disorganized, lazy, or awkward, for example—even in a joking way—your brain could still internalize the negativity of those statements. Hearing more positive words out loud from yourself instead can imprint your mind with positive messages.
Act from a perspective of healthy self-esteem
While positive thoughts about yourself can be the first step toward improving your self-esteem, engaging in behaviors that reflect the thoughts or affirmations you're using can be the next. Using a confident posture and eye contact could be simple ways of “acting in high self-esteem".
Making decisions that reflect respect and care for yourself—such as setting boundaries in relationships, tending to your physical health, and addressing any health issues—could also help reinforce the internal message that you’re worth defending and caring for.
Talk to a professional about cultivating self-value
Speaking with a mental health professional like a therapist is another potentially powerful way to increase your self-esteem. They can help you address any past trauma that may be contributing to these feelings, find ways of building confidence that work for you, and practice skills like setting boundaries and communicating your needs. If you’re experiencing low self-esteem as a symptom of depression or another mental health condition, they can also help you address these.
How online therapy can help
If you're nervous about attending therapy or can't find a provider in your area, you might try online counseling instead through a platform like BetterHelp. You can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can choose to meet with via phone, video, or in-app messaging sessions, depending on which format you're most comfortable with.
Research suggests internet-based interventions can be as effective as in-person therapy in reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and chronic stress, all of which can contribute to low self-esteem.
Takeaway
What is the best definition of self-esteem?
The American Psychological Association defines self-esteem as:
“the degree to which the qualities and characteristics contained in one’s self-concept are perceived to be positive. It reflects a person’s physical self-image, view of their accomplishments and capabilities, values and perceived success in living up to them, and how others view and respond to that person. The more positive the cumulative perception of these qualities and characteristics, the higher one’s self-esteem. A reasonably high degree of self-esteem is considered an important ingredient of mental health, whereas low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness are common depressive symptoms.”
Generally speaking, self-esteem is closely correlated with self-worth and confidence. Strong self-esteem enables individuals to have a positive view of themselves, develop personal resilience, overcome past mistakes, and see themselves as worthy of respect and kindness from others.
What is the root cause of low self-esteem?
Many things can cause low self-esteem, some of the most common include mental health issues like depression, being raised in an environment with little positive feedback, a lack of self-care, perceived low socioeconomic status, or a pattern of insecure attachments. Insecurity can often lead to relationship problems in romantic, familial, or platonic relationships, which can further compound issues with self-esteem. It is also possible that genetic factors play a role. Research suggests a significant genetic component may underpin optimism and high self-esteem.
While the root cause of low self-esteem can vary, a mental health professional can likely help you address negative feelings about yourself, offer advice and strategies for feeling secure in relationships, and help address serious underlying factors that may be present, such as suicidal thoughts or substance abuse.
How do you build self-esteem?
Building self-esteem often begins by acknowledging that you are a human being who is allowed to make mistakes and improve from them. Those with low self-esteem tend to hold themselves to high standards, which may not be reachable in all cases. This can sometimes lead to a strong aversion to making mistakes and feelings of inadequacy, which can make self-love challenging.
The average person’s life often contains barriers to high self-esteem, such as situations that cause irrational fear, lack of support from parents, siblings, or friends, and adverse life circumstances that can lead people to believe they are incapable of achievement. Overcoming these barriers often means directly contradicting negativity by deliberately questioning the negative views you might hold. If you find yourself putting yourself down or otherwise disparaging your own abilities, you may want to consider whether those thoughts hold up to scrutiny. Do you need to be upset with yourself? Is the impact as bad as it seems? Is there a way to find positivity in the situation?
What are the four major factors that influence self-esteem?
Many factors can influence self-esteem, but some of the most common include:
- Childhood experiences
- Workplace experiences
- Support from friends and family
- Representations in traditional and online media
If a person is raised in a loving, secure environment where mistakes are encouraged as part of a greater learning process, they will likely have high self-esteem. Childhood experiences can influence a person’s personality and behavior, and those with strong foundations for good self-esteem carry those strengths into old age. Similarly, social psychology research indicates that working in a hostile or antagonistic workplace can substantially lower self-esteem.
A lack of social support can also influence self-esteem. As with a person’s upbringing, adverse social contact can substantially lower someone’s self-esteem, especially if it begins in childhood. For example, someone who is bullied by their peers in elementary school might conclude that they are unworthy of friendships at a young age.
Finally, researchers believe that representations in media play an important role in how people develop self-esteem, especially adolescents and young adults. Evidence examining the link between eating disorders and social media use suggests that representations of the ideal body type in the media can substantially lower a person’s self-image, subsequently lowering their self-esteem.
How would I describe my self-esteem?
Describing self-esteem is typically done after an honest period of self-reflection. Self-esteem is rarely constant; most people experience ups and downs. They might feel particularly confident and worthy one day but struggle to recognize their capabilities on another. Self-esteem might wane during adverse life circumstances and rebound as the adversity runs its course. Many people find it helpful to take time to consider their self-esteem regularly to help keep negativity at bay. Engaging in self-reflection at regularly scheduled times can often be helpful to ensure consistency.
When someone has self-esteem, what do they most likely also possess?
While there are many qualities a person with high self-esteem can possess, a commonly cited quality is self-actualization. The term “actualization” was coined by Carl Rogers, a psychologist who studied humanity’s ability to thrive and achieve happiness. It refers to a person’s ability to know their capabilities, recover from adverse circumstances, and pursue personal growth. Actualization is bolstered by high self-esteem, making confidence and belief in oneself easier to achieve.
Is self-esteem good or bad?
Self-esteem is typically considered a good thing. High self-esteem is correlated with positive outcomes like more significant achievement, higher self-worth, more stable relationships, and increased resilience in adverse circumstances. In some cases, a person might feign high self-esteem through arrogant or self-centered behavior, but true self-esteem is typically associated with empathy and acceptance of others.
What are the three C's of self-esteem?
The three C’s of self-esteem are often described as competence, confidence, and connection.
- Competence refers to feeling capable of completing specific tasks and having a generally positive view of your abilities. Competent people generally approach challenges positively and are confident in problem-solving.
- Confidence refers to your belief in yourself, either generally or regarding specific abilities.
- Connection refers to a sense of belonging and acceptance in your social relationships. A strong support network of friends and family is typically necessary for good connections.
What is high self-esteem, in simple words?
Simply put, high self-esteem typically refers to having high self-worth, viewing yourself positively, and seeing yourself as worthy of respect and kindness from others. Self-esteem usually does not include arrogant thoughts or behaviors; genuinely high self-esteem often encourages empathy, genuineness, and kindness.
Are self-esteem and self-confidence the same?
Self-esteem and self-confidence are not exactly the same, but they are closely related concepts. Confidence is often considered a component of self-esteem, while self-esteem also includes other concepts like social acceptance. Confidence typically refers to a person’s knowledge and belief that they can complete a specific task. It is typically limited to a particular domain, where self-esteem is often applied more generally. For example, a person might be very confident in their ability to complete tasks at work while still having low self-esteem.
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