How To Destress Before Bed And Optimize Your Sleep

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated October 18, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Stress and anxiety before going to bed can be common, and you’re not alone if you experience this daily challenge. Stress can lead to sleep disorders like insomnia, which can perpetuate a cycle of stress that impacts one’s bedtime routine. People can use various strategies to destress at the end of the day, such as practicing mindfulness and optimizing their sleep hygiene. Therapy can also be helpful for those struggling with stress-related sleep challenges.

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What causes stress before sleep? 

Several situations can cause stress at night, including (but not limited to) those discussed below.

Racing thoughts and stress about the day 

When people settle down for the night, they usually lie still in bed, often in a quiet environment with limited distractions. After a busy day, the silence and lack of movement can lead some individuals to think about what happened during the day, their worries, and what they want to do the next day. 

They might experience racing thoughts to cope with the discomfort of silence or challenging emotions. Some people experience racing thoughts as a symptom of an anxiety disorder. These thoughts can keep the mind active and make it hard to relax enough to fall asleep. 

Sleep disorders

Sleep disorders can impact how a person falls or stays asleep and the quality of sleep they experience. Below are common sleep disorders that may cause someone stress: 

  • Insomnia: Insomnia generally involves difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, and getting quality sleep. People with insomnia might take hours to fall asleep and experience tiredness during the day, which can lead to stress.
  • Obstructive sleep apnea: People with sleep apnea tend to experience pauses in breathing throughout the night, leading to a lack of quality sleep. They may be excessively tired during the day and struggle to cope with daily stressors. 
  • REM sleep behavior disorder: REM sleep behavior disorder typically involves acting out one’s dreams while asleep, which can lead to stress related to not being able to control one’s behavior while dreaming. 
  • Restless legs syndrome: People with restless legs syndrome usually experience a strong urge to move their legs before and during sleep, which can lead to relationship challenges and distress about falling asleep.
  • Narcolepsy: Narcolepsy typically involves intense daytime sleepiness and, in some people, cataplexy, in which people may fall asleep involuntarily. Excessive sleepiness can lead to stress related to one’s career, relationships, and sleep routine, as well as worries about falling asleep at inopportune moments.
  • Hypersomnia: Hypersomnia may occur when people sleep for more hours than is considered typical. This condition can lead to stress when an individual’s schedule is disrupted by their sleep. 

Mental health disorders

Mental health disorders like anxiety disorders can involve racing thoughts and restlessness. Conditions like bipolar I disorder can involve mania, which might result in someone sleeping very little for a period of time. 

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can be associated with vivid and distressing nightmares, which might lead someone to avoid falling asleep at night.

When a mental health disorder impacts a person’s schedule and ability to get the rest they need, they might become distressed by the seemingly out-of-control symptoms disrupting their sleep. 

Stimulating activities that impact the body and mind  

Exercising during the day can promote better sleep. However, some studies suggest that strenuous exercise an hour before bed can have the opposite effect, making it challenging to wind down and fall asleep. 

In addition, a long workday, conflict with a partner, or life stressors that lead to significant mental stimulation may reduce one’s ability to fall asleep. 

Ways to destress before bed to fall asleep more easily

If you’re experiencing any stressor or challenge that is making it difficult to fall asleep, consider trying the following strategies. 

Practice sleep hygiene

Sleep hygiene generally refers to the practice of optimizing your nightly routine and sleep space to promote quality sleep. A few sleep hygiene practices include the following: 

  • Not eating or drinking anything for at least an hour before going to bed 
  • Having a comfortable bed
  • Temperature-controlling your bedroom to promote an optimal body temperature (cooler temperatures are often more conducive to sleep) 
  • Avoiding electronics for at least an hour before bed or using a blue-light filter on your screens
  • Trying relaxing activities like reading a book, taking a warm bath, or meditating before bed
  • Reducing distractions in your sleep area
  • Going to sleep at the same time every night 
  • Wearing comfortable sleep clothes 
  • Only using your bed for sleep and sex
  • Avoiding using substances before bed, especially stimulants like caffeine 
  • Using earplugs if you live in a noisy area
  • Getting out of bed for 10 to 20 minutes if you struggle to fall asleep, then returning to your bed 
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Get sunlight exposure in the morning to regulate your circadian rhythm 

Exposure to light within the first 30 to 60 minutes of waking up in the morning can help you regulate your circadian rhythm, which is generally responsible for controlling your sleep schedule (when you fall asleep and wake up). 

Sunlight exposure can increase alertness, reduce stress, and improve sleep quality at night. If you don’t have natural light in your bedroom, live in a cold and cloudy area, or work second or third shift, consider buying a light box that mimics sunlight to use when you wake up. 

Use mental and physical mindfulness practices to reduce heart rate and fall asleep 

Mental and physical mindfulness practices might help individuals fall asleep and reduce stress, as they can help you focus on the present moment and become grounded in your body. 

The following body scan meditation, paired with muscle tension and relaxation, is a common mindfulness exercise that may relax you before bed. You can practice this skill with the following steps: 

  1. Lie down in your bed and take deep breaths, focusing on the sensations you’re experiencing.
  2. Focus on the top of your head or the tip of your toes and imagine them releasing all tension before moving to the next body part. 
  3. You can tense your muscles before releasing and relaxing them, which may help you have more control over the release. 
  4. Repeat the exercise after relaxing each part of your body.
  5. If you still struggle to sleep, consider a guided meditation or “sleep hypnosis” audio online. Some people also like to play calming sounds like rain noises. 

The importance of sleep for the body and mind: What does the research say about poor sleep? 

Research has found that a good night’s sleep tends to be one of the most essential ingredients of mental and physical health and wellness. Sleep deprivation can be linked to various psychological and physical disorders, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, immune system dysfunction, inflammation, anxiety disorders, depression, stress, dementia, loneliness, and a decreased lifespan. Prioritizing your sleep can be a step toward improved health, so talk to a doctor or therapist if you struggle to sleep due to stress.

How to stay asleep through the night 

If you are able to fall asleep but frequently wake up during the night due to stress, you might be unsure how to fall back asleep. Some people might wake up earlier than they want and become stressed during the day due to symptoms of sleep deprivation. 

To stay asleep during the night, try to regulate your circadian rhythm when awake using strategies like sunlight exposure, regular exercise, relaxation techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, and healthy habits. You can also consider talking to a therapist for support or speaking with your doctor about sleep medication options.

The BetterHelp platform is not intended to provide any information regarding which medication or medical treatment may be appropriate for you. This content provides generalized information that is not specific to any one individual. You should not take any action without consulting a qualified medical professional.

Why does stress impact sleep, heart rate, and health? 

Studies have found that dysregulation in the autonomic nervous system and hormone release during the body’s stress response may be linked to stress and insomnia.

This dysregulation can impact the hypothalamus, pituitary, and adrenal glands, leading to physical difficulty falling asleep. Because this process can be both physical and mental, people might find support by talking to a sleep specialist to develop a personalized treatment plan and get a better night’s sleep. 

How to reduce daily stress to optimize sleep 

You can also enhance your nighttime routine by taking steps in your daily life to reduce stressors. For example, if your job is your most significant source of stress, you might make changes and set boundaries at work to improve your mood, which may reduce the chance of racing thoughts and difficulty falling asleep at night. 

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Mental health support options for sleep disorders, stress, and mental health conditions 

For sleep issues caused by mental health conditions or challenges, you might benefit from talking to a therapist. However, if you face barriers to therapy like cost, distance, or discomfort related to visiting an in-person provider, online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp may be more available to you. 

Through an online platform, you can meet with a therapist from home at any time that works for you, including outside of standard business hours. In addition, you can find resources like group sessions and worksheets for a more comprehensive treatment plan. 

A 2019 study in the Journal of Medical Internet Research found that online cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia could effectively improve sleep efficiency and reduce depression, anxiety, and the number of awakenings one experienced during the night. The participants went through a six-week intervention and generally experienced improvements, even when medication did not previously help them. 

Takeaway

Stress can have significant mental and physical impacts on sleep quality and the ability to fall asleep at night. There may be several ways to destress at night, including sleep hygiene practices, mindfulness, muscle relaxation, and daily stress reduction strategies. For more tailored support and guidance, consider reaching out to a therapist online or in your area.
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