Is There A Link Between Stress And Sex Drive?

Stress can negatively affect one's sex drive, often in ways people don't expect. While some people find that stress increases their desire for sex, for most, stress tends to lower libido and make intimacy more difficult. 

Struggling with a low sex drive can be frustrating, especially when someone might have been in the mood earlier, only to have their desire disappear once stress or anxiety kicks in. Recognizing how acute and chronic stress can affect sex drive can help individuals and couples find strategies to manage stress and improve their intimate relationships. It may be helpful to schedule regular date nights, engage in non-sexual physical touch, and work with an individual or couples therapist.

Stress can negatively affect sex drive and overall mental health

Reduce stress in online therapy

What’s the connection between stress and sex drive?

Many people may use sex or masturbation to cope with stress. For some, it works well. For many others, including sexually functional women and men, stress can negatively affect their sex drive and desire. Factors like financial concerns, job stress, health problems, and family responsibilities can all lead to stress.

Stress hormones and sex

When people experience chronic stress, their bodies usually release the stress hormone cortisol, which can lower testosterone and estrogen levels. Low levels of these sex hormones may reduce sexual desire. 

Stress may constrict blood vessels

Sexual arousal usually relies heavily on blood flow and a relaxed state of mind. Stress can narrow the blood vessels, potentially making it harder to become aroused, which can lead to sexual dysfunction and other sexual difficulties.

Stress can activate the fight-or-flight response

The sympathetic nervous system usually plays a role in the stress response. Experiencing a constant fight-or-flight response can decrease sexual desire. When activated, it typically diverts energy away from non-essential functions like reproduction, which can impair sexual function.

Stress can lead to distractions

Stress can also lead to mental distractions, sometimes making it hard to focus on intimate moments. This mental strain can further affect sexual function and arousal.

What else might affect sex drive?

Other factors besides stress can affect sex drive. These can include hormonal imbalances, certain medications, and a sedentary lifestyle, among others.

Hormonal imbalances

While stress can lead to reduced sex hormone levels, other factors can disrupt the balance of hormones that regulate sex drive. For example, women may experience changes in estrogen and progesterone levels during menopause. Thyroid imbalances can also affect energy levels and interest in sex. Monitoring and treating hormonal imbalances might restore a person’s sex drive.

Medications

Many medications can affect libido. Antidepressants, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), can reduce sexual desire and cause difficulties with arousal. Blood pressure medications and certain antihistamines can also lower libido. It can be important to discuss side effects with a healthcare provider, who might adjust the dosage or suggest different medications to reduce these effects on sexual activity.

Alcohol and substance use

Alcohol and recreational substances can have different effects on sex drive. While a small amount of alcohol may lower inhibitions, excessive drinking can decrease sexual performance and desire. Substances like marijuana, opioids, and stimulants can also affect libido and sexual function. 

Chronic illness

Living with a chronic illness can drain physical and emotional energy, affecting sex drive. Conditions like diabetes, heart disease, multiple sclerosis, and arthritis can directly affect a person’s physical abilities and interest in sex. Treatments for these illnesses may also affect libido.

Poor sleep

Poor sleep quality or sleep disorders can lower libido and overall energy levels. Conditions like sleep apnea and insomnia can contribute to fatigue, which can, in turn, decrease interest in sex. Getting enough rest and seeking treatment for sleep disorders may improve sex drive in these cases. A consistent sleep routine can support overall well-being and may restore the balance needed for a healthy sex life.

Other mental health conditions

Mental health challenges like depression and anxiety can negatively affect sex drive. A person with major depressive disorder, for example, may lose interest in sex and other activities they once enjoyed. Finding support for mental health through therapy and support groups may improve libido and overall sexual function.

Sedentary lifestyle

A lack of physical activity can lead to decreased libido. In general, regular exercise improves blood flow and increases energy levels, which may boost mood and sex drive. An active lifestyle can promote physical health and may be positively linked to improved sexual function. Even moderate exercise may make a difference in reigniting desire and improving sexual activity.

Ways to maintain intimacy and address the effects of stress

Stress can often lead to problems with intimacy in a relationship. If stress is affecting your sex drive and intimacy with your partner, you may want to try various strategies to improve your relationship. 

Communicate with your partner

Communication tends to be key in any relationship. Talking about stress and its effects on your intimacy may clarify the problem and bring you closer. Effective communication generally includes listening in addition to speaking. You may want to set aside time for open conversations that can help both partners sense they are heard and valued.

Have regular date nights

Regular date nights may maintain closeness in a relationship. These special times away from routine causes of stress may allow partners to focus on each other. Date nights don't have to be expensive or elaborate. A simple evening walk, a picnic in the park, or a movie at home can create connections. The important thing is generally to spend quality time together without distractions, reinforcing the relationship and reducing stress.

Explore new activities or hobbies together

Trying new things together may keep a relationship exciting and reduce stress. Shared activities or hobbies can offer a break from daily stress and create shared experiences. Activities like cooking a new recipe, taking a class together, or even playing a sport may strengthen your relationship. 

Physical touch and affection

Schedule intimate time

Scheduling intimate time may ensure that intimacy remains a priority. With busy lives and high stress, spontaneous moments of intimacy can become rare. Scheduling intimate time doesn't necessarily mean planning every detail, but setting aside time for being close can help. Even if the mood isn't right in the beginning, spending time together can create an opportunity for closeness.

Create a relaxing bedtime routine together

A relaxing bedtime routine may reduce stress and promote intimacy. Activities like reading together, listening to calming music, or doing relaxation exercises can create a soothing atmosphere. A consistent bedtime routine can signal the body and mind to unwind, potentially making it easier to transition into intimate moments. Reducing screen time and eliminating stressful stimuli from the bedroom can also improve this time together.

Attend relationship workshops or seminars together

Learning together by attending relationship workshops may provide valuable tools and strategies to improve intimacy. These workshops often address stress management, communication skills, and ways to strengthen emotional connections. Participating in these activities can show a commitment to improving the relationship. 

Seek professional help if needed

If stress and its effects on intimacy are overwhelming, you may want to seek professional help as an individual or couple. Therapists and counselors are often able to help couples work through stress and intimacy problems. A therapist can teach specific strategies and skills to improve communication, understanding, and connection, which may promote a healthier sex life. 

Get support online

Many people struggling with stress and its effects on their sex drive find online therapy to be a helpful resource. A 2022 study found that virtual counseling sessions typically helped pregnant women improve their sexual health and intimacy more than just routine prenatal care. 

Another study found that couples therapy via videoconferencing can be just as effective as face-to-face sessions in improving relationship satisfaction and mental health. Therefore, online therapy may provide a viable option for couples who cannot access traditional therapy.

BetterHelp is an online platform that can connect individuals and couples with licensed therapists. Through BetterHelp, you can find a network of professionals who can help with various mental health challenges, including stress and its effects on sex drive. Individuals and couples can communicate with their therapists through video calls, messages, or phone calls, potentially making this online therapy platform a convenient and versatile way to get help.