Scammed: The Emotional Aftermath Of Credit Card, Bank Account, And Identity Scams
Identity theft, credit card fraud, government imposters, or a stolen bank account number are just a few ways scammers can steal your money and potentially ruin your finances. You're not alone if you've ever lost money on the receiving end of a financial scam. Below, explore the emotional aftermath of being scammed on mental health and provide strategies for emotional recovery and building trust.
Why is scamming so harmful to mental health?
According to the Global Anti-Scam Alliance (GASA), consumers lost 1.03 trillion dollars to scammers globally in 2024. Only 4% of them were able to recover their losses. For many, scammers steal much more than money. Fraud can also have a significant emotional impact, causing an array of distressing emotions, from anger to shame to despair.
Unlike burglaries or cases of property theft, scammers typically need active participation from the individual to access their data or money to steal from them. This dynamic often places the “burden of blame” on the individual who has been scammed. However, that blame is misplaced. Research examining the interactional techniques of fraudsters draws parallels between scamming tactics and domestic violence control and coercion behaviors. For example, scammers often groom their targets, convincing them to pay the scammer more money to “fix” a distressing financial situation. Fraudsters might also develop a rapport that leads to a personal "relationship" and then pressure their target to send money or comply with the perpetrator’s expectations.
How scamming can impact mental health
Regardless of the type, many people who have experienced theft feel like they've been taken advantage of and have little to no control over the situation. This type of helplessness can create significant emotional distress. Individuals already experiencing financial hardship or who have formed a relationship with the scammer may be the most traumatized by theft. Below are some of the symptoms someone can experience.
Shame and self-blame
Some people feel guilty or naïve for falling for a scam. They might blame themselves, feel ashamed, or believe they should've known better than giving out sensitive information or payments. However, this type of theft can happen to anyone, and many scams are extremely convincing.
Anger and betrayal
A sense of having been violated or taken advantage of can cause anger and feelings of betrayal. These feelings are often directed at the scammer but may also be directed at oneself. People who build a relationship with the scammer can feel particularly intense anger and feelings of betrayal. For example, this reaction can happen when someone experiences romance fraud or if the scammer was introduced by a mutual friend or relative.
Anxiety and fear
Financial scams can be highly traumatizing, causing worry and fear about financial recovery or the possibility of scams happening again. Being scammed can lead to trust issues with others, as your sense of safety may be threatened. These feelings can be compounded if you’re dealing with the stress of trying to recoup your losses or other life stressors.
Broader mental health implications of scams
Scamming can also cause broader, farther-reaching mental health issues for individuals in the long run. For example, a government campaign raising fraud awareness in the UK found that roughly 48% of people reported depression, and 51% experienced low self-confidence and self-esteem after experiencing a scam. Individuals may also experience symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms (PTSD), such as hypervigilance or intrusive thoughts.
Impact on relationships
Scams can cause strained relationships with family or friends due to financial or emotional fallout. People who've been scammed might develop trust issues and withdraw socially, and that emotional distress can create communication issues. These types of problems can have a significant impact, particularly on domestic partnerships.
Why do people experience such feelings?
There are underlying mechanisms that drive why many people experience such traumatic feelings when they’ve been scammed. For example, some people experience cognitive dissonance when they try to reconcile the conflicting thoughts of believing they made a good decision with the reality that they were deceived. This juxtaposition can cause denial and unconscious rationalization to minimize the negative aspects of the situation and reduce mental distress.
The role of identity
Fraud can have a sizable impact on an individual’s self-esteem and sense of competence, causing depression and self-disparagement. Some people might experience the sunk cost fallacy, in which they may have difficulty accepting they were deceived because they invested so much money, time, or effort in the scam. Whether consciously or unconsciously, the individual might believe that if they acknowledge they were scammed, they'd be "admitting" to poor judgment or gullibility.
The influence of society and stigma
A typical societal attitude is blaming the target for "falling for" a scam, exacerbating guilt and self-worth issues. Negative stereotypes of people who’ve been scammed as careless or gullible can contribute to mental health issues like shame, anxiety, and depression. When people believe being scammed is a sign of personal weakness, they may socially isolate themselves from others or refrain from seeking support for fear of ridicule and judgment.
Strategies for emotional recovery after credit card fraud and identity theft
Recovering emotionally from fraud can take time, so be patient and give yourself space to grieve the loss. Acknowledging your emotions can be a key driver to rebuilding your mental health if you’ve been scammed. Don’t suppress feelings like frustration, anger, sadness, or embarrassment; allow yourself to feel and process them.
Reframe your thoughts to rebuild self-esteem
Use evidence-based reframing techniques, such as those from cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), to challenge self-blaming thoughts. Scammers are often skilled at manipulating people. However, being scammed does not reflect your worth or intelligence. Mindfulness techniques such as meditation, yoga, and grounding exercises can help you identify and challenge self-judging.
Focus on what you can control
While you can’t change what has happened, you can control how you move forward. For example, you might learn more about scams to feel empowered and more vigilant. You may take it slow and establish boundaries when you're faced with making a decision. For example, practice saying no when someone pressures you with time constraints or expectations. Additionally, you can learn to control how you react during the process of resolving the situation by speaking with a therapist who can help you learn to regulate your emotions during times of severe stress.
Seek support after you report the scam
Connecting with others can help you process and see the situation from a different perspective. Talking openly and honestly with trusted friends or family can provide comfort and help you build your confidence. Also, consider joining a support group of people with similar experiences so you can share yours and learn about how they're coping effectively.
How to report the scam and repair your bank account
Many convincing financial scams can trick people into giving away their social security number or initiating a wire transfer for money. Some scammers pretend to work with the IRS and convince people to send money for “back taxes.” If you suspect you’ve been scammed, contact your bank to report the fraudulent transaction and ask them to freeze your account to prevent other unauthorized transactions. Order a new debit card and raise a fraud alert on your credit report. Then, review your account statements and monitor your credit reports closely for any suspicious activity. If you find unauthorized charges, contact your bank away to dispute them.
Additionally, update your login credentials and passwords with the financial institution or service provider where you do business. Consider filing a report with the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) or the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) online or by phone to document the scam and assist in investigations.
Education about scams as empowerment
Whether you suspect you’re being scammed or have been scammed in the past, you can take time to learn about different types of scams and how they work. Educating yourself can be empowering and help you build confidence. When you know how to handle scams now and spot them in the future, you can also share that knowledge with others to prevent similar situations from happening to them.
Acknowledging and processing emotions after credit card fraud and identity theft
Teasing apart the emotions you have after being scammed can be complicated. Anger, frustration, fear, despair, and shame can blur together, making it challenging to identify and process each feeling. Give yourself some space if you're having difficulty acknowledging and processing them. Be sure to prioritize self-care and be kind to yourself. Remember that scams can happen to anyone and aren't a reflection of your intelligence or worth. Also, consider seeking support from friends and family, a support group, or an individual therapist.
Alternative support options
Some people struggling to cope with a financial scan don’t get professional help, even if needed. For some, doubts and anxiety over whether they can afford therapy could arise, or they might not think therapy will help them understand and process their feelings. Still, other people might feel unsure about treatment because of mental health stigma.
Virtual therapy through a platform like BetterHelp may solve these barriers for some people. The rise in telehealth services for mental health has given people an avenue to treatment that's more accessible, convenient, and discrete than conventional alternatives. Online therapy is often more affordable than traditional treatment without insurance, and many platforms offer flexible payment opportunities. For example, some platforms allow users to apply for financial assistance for therapy, and some therapists offer sliding-scale fees based on income.
A large body of research also suggests that online-delivered CBT is as effective as in-person counseling in helping people cope with issues of anxiety, depression, and trauma. For example, a systematic review and meta-analysis published in 2022 concluded that internet-delivered CBT (iCBT) can reduce depression and anxiety for some. Another PubMed-published study found similar positive outcomes for people with anxiety and depression who participated in iCBT during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Takeaway
Emotional recovery from financial fraud might take time, but it is achievable with effort, self-reflection, and support. If possible, focus on growth, resilience, and empowering others with similar experiences. If the emotions become overwhelming, seek professional support. An experienced therapist can help you process your feelings and move forward with self-awareness and confidence.
What happens if you get scammed?
Depending on the type of scam you’ve gone through, the effects of the scam can be wide-reaching. For example, many people go into debt due to a scam. Others might have to claim identity fraud to the IRS, a financial agency, or their bank to prevent further schemes or attempts. In addition, check with credit and collection agencies to be aware of any transactions or reports that have been opened in your name. You may be able to dispute transactions with your bank company to get a refund.
What do you do if you have been scammed?
Depending on the scam you’ve experienced, you may respond in several ways, including but not limited to the following tips and other steps:
- Protect your computer from viruses and hacking by resetting the system, changing your passwords on your account, deleting suspicious links or messages, and logging out of any websites or pages.
- Check your credit history with a credit reporting agency and ask for letters in the mail about your recent activity.
- Report any financial fraud to your bank and ask for advice on whether to open a new account or card.
- Request a new social security number or card from the Social Security Administration
- Report fraud regarding taxes and social security to the IRS directly at an IRS location in your area or online
- Tell family members and loved ones what happened in case of emergency
- Turn off your debit or credit card if it was used or your bank was hacked into, and request a new card
- Talk to Western Union if you made a fraudulent international transaction by accident
- Report the number, name, or information of the person who scammed you to the police and fraud agencies
- Talk to authorities if you’re concerned about your safety
- Hide important assets like gold, jewelry, and cash or put it in a safe
What is the pain of being scammed?
Many people experience emotional pain after being scammed because losing money or assets can be difficult, and they may feel guilt or shame for having experienced the scam. Remember that being scammed is not your fault, and even if you had some control over the matter, scammers often make many promises on the other end of the line and can be highly convincing.
How do you comfort someone who got scammed?
You can comfort an individual who was scammed by being present for them, offering a listening ear, and guiding them. Do not judge them or blame them for the scam, as doing so may increase feelings of shame and guilt for what they’re going through.
Is being scammed a trauma?
Being scammed can cause a trauma response for some people, especially when it leads to extreme loss or danger to the survivor. For example, some people lose thousands of dollars or all of their retirement money and may not know how to survive without it, needing to rely on family for support. This experience can be highly traumatic for them.
What are the psychological effects of being scammed?
After being scammed, some people develop mental health conditions like anxiety and depressive disorders or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Others may experience stress, nightmares, or fears about being scammed again. Severe guilt and shame can also take a toll, causing someone to withdraw from their community. Speaking to a therapist or support group can be helpful in these cases.
How do you get your money back if you were scammed?
You might not be able to get your money back after being scammed, depending on how the scam occurred. However, if the scam was through your bank, you can file a fraud report and dispute the transaction. They may be able to help you regain your money this way. If you were scammed in another way and know the scammer or have information about them, report it to the police to start a criminal case. You can also talk to a financial lawyer for advice.
How do you act after being scammed?
If you were scammed, report what happened to your financial institutions and people in your life. You might also choose to make a police report if the scam resulted in major losses. In addition, block the scammer’s number and keep their information written down. Keep proof of any messages or photos sent by the scammer.
What is the mindset of a scammer?
People who scam others are often doing so to make money quickly by taking advantage of others. This behavior is financially abusive and often rooted in a lack of empathy. They may not think about others because they believe they have to harm others to gain money to make their own situation better. If you are scammed, it is not your fault.
How do you recover from being scammed?
Talking to a therapist, whether online or in your area, is one way to work through your emotions after being scammed. It’s normal to feel guilty, sad, scared, or shameful. You might also feel angry at the scammer for taking your money or assets. Talking to a therapist can give you an outlet for these emotions and help you brainstorm a way forward.
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