How To Adjust After Moving Away From Family For College

Moving away from family for college can be a stressful yet rewarding experience. For many, it means stepping out of their comfort zone and embracing a new life. Moving can lead to personal growth and opportunities that staying close to home might not provide. However, the decision to relocate for school often comes with mixed emotions, including excitement for new beginnings as well as sadness and even guilt about leaving loved ones behind. Let’s examine some of the emotions that may come with this change as well as tips for managing them.

Discussing the move with your family

Deciding to move away from family may bring up anxiety, especially if you are close to your parents or other family members. In many cases, discussing the move with them is even harder. Approaching the conversation with honesty and empathy can be paramount. Here are a few tips for navigating that discussion:

• Start with the reasons. Share why you want to move. Explain the potential benefits, like a better life through new job opportunities or education. This may help your family better understand the motive behind your decision.
• Offer reassurances. Parents and other family members might worry about losing touch. Reassure them by suggesting ways you plan to maintain communication, such as regular phone calls or video chats.
• Be ready for their emotions. Expect a range of emotions from your family members when they receive the news. They might feel sad, confused, upset, or a number of other emotions. Be patient, allow them to express their feelings, and try to meet them with empathy.
• Show appreciation. Make sure to express gratitude for their support. Acknowledge their role in your life and affirm that this decision does not lessen your bond.

How to cope with the guilt of moving

When moving away from family, it’s not uncommon to experience a sense of guilt. Acknowledging and finding ways to manage this may help you adapt to your new situation.

Acknowledge the guilt

First, it may help to recognize and accept the guilt you might experience when moving away from your family, as ignoring these emotions is unlikely to help them go away. Accepting that guilt is often a normal part of the process may help make it easier to handle.

Focus on the positives

Reflect on how these positives coexist with potential drawbacks, such as being further from your family. By doing so, you can remind yourself why you made the decision in the first place.

Set realistic expectations

Set achievable goals for keeping in touch with your family. Regular video calls, text messages, and visits may help maintain strong connections despite the physical distance. Avoid setting unrealistic expectations that you can’t meet and aim to stick to the goals that you set.

Remind yourself it’s okay to grow

Personal growth often involves making tough decisions, like moving away from family. It may help you to realize that it’s okay to prioritize your development and your future. Growth requires stepping out of your comfort zone. By reminding yourself that it’s okay to seek new experiences, you may be able to alleviate some of the guilt. 

Other tips for adjusting to life away from family

Although moving away from family can be difficult, you can take steps to ease the transition and healthily cope with challenging emotions.

Stay connected with family members

Use video calls, texts, social media, and any other methods that work for you to stay in touch with family members. You might schedule weekly or bi-weekly calls with family to keep up with life back home, and because they’ll likely want to hear about new updates and experiences in your life too. You might also create a family group chat to share photos, videos, and everyday moments.

Work on building a local support system

Now that you’re living in a new place, you’ll likely need some supportive connections nearby as well. To work on building new ones, you might spend time with new classmates, co-workers, or neighbors. Joining clubs or groups related to your interests may also help. Developing new relationships may offer a sense of belonging and help reduce negative feelings associated with leaving home.

Plan visits home

If possible, scheduling trips back home can provide something to look forward to. Whether it’s during holidays, long weekends, or summer break, you may be able to visit family members or have them visit you to help you recharge your emotional battery and reconnect. Make plans in advance to organize your time effectively and embrace these visits as a much-needed break from your new routine.

Practice self-care

Taking care of your mental and physical health is important, especially as you experience the stressors that moving away from home and starting college can bring. Self-care activities can be a part of the coping mechanisms you use to manage stress and maintain a positive outlook. Some examples include exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, finding ways to stay connected to your culture or happenings back home, setting boundaries, and making time for things you enjoy.

Finding professional help

If loneliness, sadness, guilt, or other difficult emotions associated with this life transition become overwhelming, seeking help from a mental health professional may be beneficial. Therapists can act as a listening ear and provide strategies to help you manage anxiety, guilt, stress, and homesickness. This kind of professional help can be valuable for working through major life changes.

In addition to individual therapy, you might consider exploring options for group therapy. Group therapy sessions bring together multiple individuals facing similar concerns under the guidance of a trained therapist. This setting may provide mutual support and the opportunity to share experiences and learn from others. 

Resources for student support

Finding the right support resources can be important, especially as you experience academic pressures, social challenges, financial concerns, and the transition to more independent living. Various resources are available to help students manage these challenges, such as:

• On-campus health centers: Many colleges have on-campus health centers that offer counseling and mental health services. Students can visit these centers for support from a mental health professional.
• National mental health organizations: Organizations such as The Jed Foundation and many others offer resources and support specifically for students.
• Student support groups: Many universities have peer support groups and clubs focused on mental wellness. These groups may provide a community space where students can share their experiences and build supportive connections.
• Crisis helplines: If you are in need of immediate support, the Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741) and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (dial 988) are available. 
• Online therapy platforms: Services like BetterHelp provide a convenient way to connect with a licensed therapist via digital communication methods like chat and video calls.

Students may be able to manage the various aspects of college life more effectively by taking advantage of resources like these.

Benefits of online therapy for students

Online therapy may provide several potential benefits to help you manage the stress of moving away from family. Convenience is one, as you can talk to a therapist from anywhere you have an internet connection—including your new home. This flexibility may make it easier to fit therapy into your schedule, even if you’re busy with unpacking or settling into a new place.

Online therapy also eliminates the stress and cost of driving or taking public transport to a therapist’s office for regular appointments. You can save time and energy by simply logging into a session from your computer, tablet, or phone. 

Finally, research suggests that online therapy can often be as effective as in-person therapy for addressing a variety of mental health concerns. For example, one meta-analysis reviewed 12 studies to see how well digital psychotherapy helped college students with mental health challenges during the COVID-19 pandemic. The results suggest that interventions like websites, smartphone apps, and video conferencing were able to effectively reduce psychological challenges among students in many cases, including reducing anxiety and depression symptoms by up to 50%.