How To Date In College: Dating Apps And Beyond

Dating in college can bring with it unique challenges that you may not have faced while dating in high school. There are often many ways to meet people in college, and while dating apps may seem like one of the most popular, there can be other ways to get to know someone and start a relationship. For instance, you might meet someone in class, through a club, at the gym, or around campus. If you believe you could benefit from professional guidance regarding how to develop a healthy relationship or navigate your love life, consider reaching out to a licensed therapist.

Dating apps

Dating apps can be described as online dating services accessed through a smartphone application. Typically, they use the person’s geographical location to match them with potential dates. Dating apps typically speed up the dating process by using algorithms and filters to sort through possible matches and find people with whom you may be compatible. Most apps facilitate safe and controlled communication until you are ready to give out personal information and begin talking outside of the app.

Some people do find successful relationships through apps, however. Research shows that, overall, one in 10 people in partnered relationships (those who are married, living with a partner, or in a committed romantic relationship) met their partner through a dating app. Of those under 30, one in five met their current partner on a dating app or website, as did 24% of those who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB). 

Still, these figures generally indicate that four out of five people under 30 and 76% of those who identify as LGB met their long-term partners in another way. 

Other ways to meet people

If you’re looking for people to date in college, you don’t have to rely on dating apps to do so. Here are some other ways to meet people.

In class

Classes can be a great opportunity to meet people. Try starting a conversation with someone sitting next to you or getting to know someone better while working on a group project. If you’re interested in someone in your class, consider asking them to grab lunch or a coffee after class or invite them to study together as a way to break the ice.

Many students choose their seat on the first day of class and keep that seat for the rest of the semester, but in most cases, there is no rule that says you must sit in the same seat each day. Consider sitting in a different seat every time you have class and interacting with the people around you so that you have the opportunity to get to know everyone.

Out and about

You are unlikely to meet someone if you spend most of your time sitting in your dorm room. When you have the opportunity to go out and socialize, take advantage of it. Whether it’s a party thrown by someone in the next dorm, a frat or sorority mixer, or a game night sponsored by an on-campus club, going to social events typically gives you the opportunity to meet different types of people.

In the dorms

Leave your door open when you’re hanging out in your dorm room as an invitation to stop in and chat or strike up a conversation with someone in the common area while you’re collecting your mail. Spend time getting to know the people living around you; you never know who you’ll meet or what will happen.

At the gym

If you enjoy exercising, the gym can be an excellent place to meet someone who is also interested in fitness. Try talking to someone you see regularly during your workouts. You might also look for exercise classes or intramural sports leagues to join, where you can meet people who share your interests.

Around campus

Be open to sitting with new people when studying at the library or eating at the dining hall. Alternatively, you can sit with friends who may introduce you to people in their dorms or classes. When the weather is nice, take advantage of the outdoor spaces around campus. Eat outside at a picnic table, study sitting on a blanket under a tree, or people-watch on a bench on the quad. Strike up conversations with people around you or invite someone nearby to join you.

How to date in college

There are several other things it may be helpful to keep in mind about dating in college, aside from where to meet someone. Here are some considerations to take into account when looking for a relationship in college. 

Remember that school is a priority

You likely went to college to earn a degree, and you may have taken out student loans to pay for it. In general, your classwork should always be a priority. Try to avoid allowing the activities you participate in during your spare time to jeopardize your education. If they do, they could change the trajectory of your academic and professional life.

Put yourself first

When you’re trying to meet someone in college, it can be tempting to change yourself to secure a partner, but this may lead to bigger problems later in the relationship. If you don’t feel comfortable being yourself when you’re with someone, it can serve as a clear sign that they are not the right person for you. 

Respect yourself and remember that you deserve to be treated with respect by others. If you sense that you’re always putting the other person first to the point that it is starting to affect your schoolwork or your physical or mental health, take a step back and reevaluate the relationship. You should always put your health and well-being first. 

Be clear about what you want

Not everyone in college is looking for the same type of relationship. Even though it may be awkward, it can be better to talk about what you want upfront. Whether you’re looking for a serious relationship, want to date people casually, or are only interested in hooking up, you should be respectful and communicate your intentions to the people you are dating from the beginning. 

Be open to new experiences

While it can be said that nearly everyone has a “type,” you might find a respectful and rewarding relationship with someone who is unlike the people you’ve been interested in dating before. If someone you wouldn’t normally date asks you out, consider saying yes. 

You don’t have to navigate college dating on your own

There are many reasons why dating in college can be challenging. Whether you’re having trouble figuring out what you want, have questions about your sexuality, or need help improving your self-esteem, working with a therapist can be beneficial. 

You don’t have to have a mental health diagnosis to benefit from working with a therapist. A licensed mental health professional can help you work through low self-esteem, improve communication skills, and determine your life goals.

If you’re interested in therapy, online treatment can be a flexible, affordable, and convenient option. When you sign up for an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can attend sessions from anywhere with a reliable internet connection at a time that suits your schedule. Most people are matched with a therapist within 48 hours, and you can change providers at any time until you find the right one for you. 

Research has found that online therapy can be effective at treating a range of mental health challenges. One study found that online therapy typically led to immediate improvements in individuals’ senses of empowerment and self-esteem. Participants also tended to report improvements in quality of life six months after completion of the online therapy program.