How To Make New Friends At School And Connect With People With Similar Interests

There may be few things in life more intimidating than starting school at a new college or university and not knowing anybody. Alternatively, maybe you have been in college for a while, but you believe your friend group is not the most supportive, and you would like to broaden your social circle. Either way, making new friends at school can be an overwhelming prospect. Learning some tried-and-true methods for meeting new people and building connections can reduce some of the nervousness you may be experiencing. If you live with social anxiety or other mental health concerns that make it challenging to connect with new people, consider working with a licensed therapist.

Eye contact, body language, and other tools for connecting with others

In many cases, nonverbal communication can play a significant role in your interactions with others.

Eye contact

Eye contact can show that you are engaged with a particular person and paying attention to what they are saying, which may be especially helpful in a group conversation setting. Eye contact can also project confidence, dependability, trustworthiness, and respect.  

Eye contact can be more difficult for neurodivergent people, so this communication strategy may not work for everyone. This can be important to keep in mind if you notice that someone with whom you’re talking seems to be avoiding meeting your eyes. 

Body language

Body language can serve as a catch-all term that encompasses many forms of nonverbal communication. Eye contact can be an example of body language, as can posture, arm movements, facial expressions, and mannerisms. 

When meeting someone new and making friends, relaxed and confident body language can be helpful. Keep your facial expression neutral or interested, nod along with what the other person is saying to show you are listening, and try to avoid defensive gestures like crossing your arms. 

Validation

Validation in communication can sometimes be interpreted as agreement, but there are subtle differences between the two concepts. When you validate someone, you are generally acknowledging their emotions and respecting their experience. For instance, you might validate someone by saying, “I see how you could feel that way.” Validation can build trust in a relationship. It can also help people sense they are understood, which can encourage a more authentic connection. 

Ways to meet like-minded people at a new school and strike up a conversation

Discover how you can find people with similar interests at your university.

Campus social events

University school events are often designed with the express purpose of helping students with common interests meet, spend time together, and connect with one another. There may be more of these types of events at the beginning of the semester or school year, when there tend to be more new students on campus. 

However, many events continue throughout the semester, so if you are experiencing friendship issues or a falling out with your friend group, you can likely still find opportunities to meet new people.

It can be important to follow up with people you meet at campus events to build a friendship. If you hit it off with someone at an event, exchange contact information with them so you can arrange meet-ups in the future.

Clubs and organizations: Sports teams, mental health interest groups, and more

Joining clubs can be one of the most effective ways to meet people with similar interests. Many colleges and universities have offices on campus to support the creation and management of student-run clubs and organizations. These clubs can span a wide variety of interest areas. You can join a sports team, an academic club, or an organization based on your political affiliation. If you are not interested in any of the existing clubs, you can always start your own. 

Conversation starters 

It can be intimidating to attend an event or go to a club meeting with the express purpose of meeting new potential friends. Having some conversation starters ready to go could help you be more relaxed and at ease. 

Strike up a conversation with these questions

Asking questions can be a great way to start a conversation and learn more about others.

• “What has been your favorite class project so far?”
• “What is something being in college has taught you about yourself?
• “What’s the best piece of advice you have received?”
• “What is the most interesting thing you have read lately?”
• “If you could live anywhere, where would you live?”
  

The importance of healthy relationships to your mental health

Having a strong social support system in your life can be important for making it through stressful times. Research shows that having a network of healthy relationships can be vital for both physical and mental health, with a lack of relationships often being correlated with various health concerns.

What a healthy relationship is and isn’t

Healthy relationships are usually founded on the key component of respect: respect for each other and for yourselves. Healthy relationships typically also involve trust, honesty, communication, compromise, understanding, and appreciation of each person’s individuality.

In contrast, unhealthy relationships may involve one person attempting to control the other person’s behavior through manipulation, guilt, or various types of abuse. 

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

Resources for student support

Having a difficult time making new friends on campus or experiencing relationship issues with existing friendships can take a significant toll on your mental health. If you are seeking additional support when going through a rough time in college, there are several resources you can access. 

• Campus counseling centers: Many colleges and universities have on-campus counseling centers, which are usually free for students and employ counselors trained to address specific student mental health concerns. 
• Online therapy: Online therapy through an accredited service like BetterHelp can be accessed from anywhere with an internet connection. 
• National organizations: Organizations like the National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI) provide mental health resources and toolkits, and local partner organizations on campus can be a fun place to meet wellness-minded friends. 
• Crisis helplines: If you require immediate support, the 988 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available. 

Benefits of online therapy for students

Between all of the demands of college life, including a complicated social schedule, it may be challenging for you to make time for an in-person therapy appointment. Online therapy can be a helpful alternative option to traditional in-office mental health care. 

Research has found that there generally isn’t a significant difference in efficacy between online and in-person therapy, including when addressing mental health concerns common among college students. A 2020 study examined the effectiveness of online therapy at reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety, two of the most common mental health conditions diagnosed in students, and found that outcomes appeared to be similar to those of in-person therapy.