I Hate College: Nine Strategies To Make The Most Of Your Experience

For many young people, the realities of college simply don’t match up to their expectations. While pop culture depictions of university life often paint an idealized picture of endless fun and effortless success, the actual experience can be much more challenging, and it’s not uncommon for the undergrad years to be marked by significant mental and emotional struggles. 

Although it may not be enjoyable for everyone, college is usually a significant investment, making it important to find ways to derive as much value as possible from the experience. Here are nine practical tips to help you make the most of your time in college—even if it isn't living up to your hopes. From setting goals to getting involved and practicing self-care, these strategies may help you find value in the college experience. However, if these tips don’t make much of a difference for you, it can be beneficial to consult a licensed therapist for further support and guidance.

Is it normal to feel unhappy in college?

While the undergrad years are often touted as “the best four years of your life,” it’s not uncommon to experience difficulties in college—and for many, those struggles go beyond mere discontent. 

National data from the 2022-23 academic year indicate that approximately 41% of college students experienced symptoms of depression, with 20% meeting the criteria for major depression. More than one-third reported symptoms consistent with an anxiety disorder. While these numbers may seem alarming, the same survey found that about 59% of those affected had sought help in the form of either psychotherapy or medication. 

While it may be normal to experience mental health difficulties in college, the underlying reasons can differ drastically between students. Understanding the reasons behind your own unhappiness can be critical for developing effective coping strategies. 

Common challenges faced by university students

While university life can be exciting and transformative for many, it can also bring significant challenges as students learn to navigate the transition between adolescence and adulthood. Here are some common reasons for student discontent:

• Academic pressure: Academic demands can lead to significant stress and burnout as students strive to meet high expectations and deadlines. These pressures may be especially challenging for first-year students learning to adjust to the increased rigor at the collegiate level, or who experienced disruptions to their education due to Covid-19. 
• Financial struggles: Young people in college are often learning to manage their finances for the first time, often on a tight budget strained by tuition costs, books, and living expenses. Student loan debt can cause students to stress about the future or, in some cases, lead them to question the value of their degrees.
• Social isolation: For many students, forming new friendships and social networks can be difficult. Although you may be surrounded by peers, it can take considerable time and effort to find a social group with whom you connect, and the process of making new friends can seem awkward. This can lead to loneliness and isolation, particularly for students who struggle with social anxiety.
• Homesickness: Being away from home can be distressing, especially for first-year students who may not have spent a substantial amount of time away from family prior to starting college. International students may also contend with homesickness—not just for family and friends, but also for the comfort and familiarity of their home countries. 
• Relationship and social stress: Young adulthood often brings with it complex relationship issues that can impact the college experience. Whether it’s dating, navigating new friendships, nurturing romantic relationships, or living with roommates, the kinds of interpersonal issues students encounter can be sources of emotional strain. 
• Adjustment to independence: Transitioning to college can be a period of significant adjustment and stress. Students may be responsible for caring for themselves, their finances, academics, and other life domains for the first time, typically with far less oversight or guidance from parents and teachers. 
• Uncertainty about the future: In college, young people are typically tasked with making important decisions about their lives and futures. Declaring a major during freshman or sophomore year can seem daunting, while upperclassmen may need to make choices about internships, grad school, and jobs. It’s not uncommon for students to experience fear, anxiety, or indecision surrounding their academic or career trajectories.

How to cope when you hate college

Below, find nine strategies to try if the college experience isn’t matching up to your expectations.

1. Identify the source of your discontent

When you’re unhappy with a particular life situation, it can be helpful to take a step back and assess which factors are contributing to your feelings. Consider writing down your thoughts to help you understand what may be at the root of your discontent. With a firm understanding of the problems you’re facing, you’ll likely be in a better position to find solutions.

2. Assess what needs to change

Once you understand what’s at the root of your discontent, you might brainstorm some solutions. If, for example, you’re dealing with roommate issues, you might start looking into changing your living situation. If you’re worried about your grades, you could seek out a tutor or study group. Try to identify a few actionable solutions for each problem you’re facing to keep your options open.

3. Set goals

Setting achievable goals can give you a sense of direction and keep you motivated. With a problem-solving mentality, you can set some short- and long-term goals to improve your situation. Break these goals into manageable steps and track your progress to stay motivated. It might also help to set some daily self-care goals so you’ll be up to the task of enacting positive change.

4. Build a support system

A strong support system can make all the difference in your college experience. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, mentors, support groups, or even campus counseling services. It might also help to stay in touch with your family and friends from back home—regular phone calls and text messages can be a source of comfort, advice, and encouragement.

5. Get involved

Though you may be feeling unenthusiastic, it can help to engage with the college experience. Most campuses offer a vast array of opportunities to meet like-minded people and have fun. Consider seeking out clubs, sports leagues, fraternities, or sororities that resonate with you. Not only may you meet new people, but you can also learn new skills and open avenues to new and fulfilling experiences.

6. Make time for what you love

If academic pressure is interfering with your ability to enjoy college, you might benefit from carving out more time for the things you love. Stress and burnout can be common among college students, and your hobbies and pastimes can serve as healthy distractions from your classes and day-to-day routines. 

7. Practice self-care and stress management

Self-care routines can be crucial for maintaining mental health during college. Try to establish healthy routines that include regular exercise, nutrient-rich eating habits, and adequate sleep, as well as mindfulness practices, such as meditation and journaling. Research indicates that self-care practices can improve physical and emotional resilience, and they may make the challenges of college seem easier.

8. Explore life outside the university ecosystem

If you’re feeling underwhelmed by college, it may help to look beyond campus for fulfillment. Take time to explore the local community, engage in off-campus activities, or even travel if possible. This can help you break the monotony and discover new interests. Experiencing life outside the university bubble can also remind you that there’s a broader world to look forward to after graduation.

9. Look toward the future

When to seek professional help

If your feelings about college go beyond unhappiness and start to interfere with your ability to function in daily life, it may be important to seek professional help. Persistent negative emotions, a decline in academic performance, changes in sleep or appetite, and withdrawal from social activities can be indicative of a mental health disorder like depression.

A mental health professional can provide you with the tools and support necessary to navigate these challenges. Many universities offer free or low-cost counseling services to students, so take advantage of these resources. You might also consider online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp.

With BetterHelp, you can attend weekly virtual sessions with a licensed therapist, plus benefit from additional tools and features like digital therapy worksheets, educational webinars, and guided journaling. 

Research suggests that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person therapy for treating a wide variety of mental health concerns, and it may be preferable for students who find it hard to fit in-person sessions into their busy schedules.