I Hate School: Tips For Teens Having Trouble At School

High school can be challenging for many students. Between balancing schoolwork and social pressure, facing expectations from parents and teachers, and developing your own sense of self, it may not be surprising that some students report hating school. If you feel this way, you're not alone. You may find it helpful to determine the reasons behind your dislike of school and to address them accordingly. Seeking support from friends, family members, teachers, or counselors can be beneficial.

Why do I hate school?

It can be a common misconception that teens hate high school for simple or shortsighted reasons, such as preferring to play video games or hating a math teacher. When a student says, “I hate school,” parents and educators often view this as a declaration of rebellion or laziness. However, many students face serious concerns when it comes to school. 

Recent studies suggest there may be alarming trends surrounding the mental health of U.S. high school students. A study published in 2021 revealed that “more than 4 in 10 (42%) students felt persistently sad or hopeless and nearly one-third (29%) experienced poor mental health.” Additionally, these negative experiences appear to be most common among LGBTQIA+ students, female students, and students across racial, ethnic, and cultural minority groups. 

If you hate school, it can be important to know your troubles are valid, and you are not alone. However, to address these issues effectively, it can be helpful to understand the possible reasons why you’re feeling this way. 

Identifying root causes

Believing you hate school can stem from various difficulties. Understanding the root cause of your feelings may be the first step toward finding a solution. 

You feel stressed and overwhelmed 

Stress and overwhelm can be common contributors to the belief that you hate school. From early mornings to demanding extracurricular activities, exams, homework, and projects, modern teens appear to be managing heightened levels of stress. 

In fact, the American Psychological Association found that nearly one-third of teens report experiencing stress levels that are comparable to those of adults. Experts do not fully understand how this level of stress may impact a teen or young adult’s future. 

You cannot control your schedule or time

For many students, packed schedules and strict rules can make school seem frustrating and even pointless. It can be incredibly challenging to find time to rest, pursue your interests, and spend time with friends on top of a hectic school and homework schedule. If you find yourself hating school, it might be because you don't have enough freedom to make your own choices.

You do not enjoy learning

During your adolescent and teen years, you will likely start gaining independence and discovering your passions, values, and goals. However, the typical school environment tends to place a heavy emphasis on setting academic goals and achieving high grades. Most high school students don't have many choices regarding the classes they take, so they often miss out on studying subjects in which they're truly interested.

You are getting bullied

Bullying can be a serious issue that may lead students to hate going to school. Being bullied can contribute to anxiety and a sense of being unsafe. This constant fear and stress can take a toll on students’ mental health, affecting self-esteem and overall well-being. It can also make it challenging to focus on studies and enjoy extracurricular activities. If you're being bullied, it can be important to reach out for support from trusted friends, family members, teachers, or school counselors. 

You are isolated from other students

While you may not be facing outward bullying, sensing you are isolated or not fitting in with your peers can make school seem like a lonely place. Loneliness can affect your mood and motivation, potentially making it hard to engage in class or participate in activities. It can also lead to a lack of support when you encounter academic or personal challenges.

Understanding school refusal or school anxiety

According to experts, serious struggles with going to school may be classified as school anxiety or school refusal, and these challenges may affect 5% to 28% of children at some point in their lives. The pandemic may have resulted in an increase in school anxiety and refusal, with some children not wanting to participate in online classes and others feeling anxious about going back to school after being away for so long.

Tips for teens having trouble at school

There are several ways to cope with and improve your school experience. Here are some practical tips to help you make school more enjoyable.

1. Make friends and allies: Having friends at school can make a huge difference. Friends can help you feel more comfortable, offer support when you're feeling down, and make classes more enjoyable. Look for people who share your interests or who are in the same classes as you. Joining clubs or teams can be a great way to meet new people and find allies who can stand by you through tough times.
2. Find your passion: Sometimes, school can seem boring because you haven't found a subject that excites you yet. Try to find ways to connect your interests with what you're learning. Finding your passion can turn a dull subject into something you look forward to exploring. 
3. Focus on achievable goals: Big goals can be overwhelming, so it can be important to break them into smaller, more manageable steps. If you have a tough class, you might set a goal to improve your grade by a small amount each month. Celebrate your progress along the way, no matter how small. This may help you stay motivated and see that you are capable of improvement.
4. Explore extracurricular activities: School isn't necessarily just about academics. Extracurricular activities like sports, drama, music, and debate can be great ways to discover new passions and talents. They may also provide a break from schoolwork and a chance to meet new friends. Try out different activities to see what you enjoy most.
5. Consider alternative education options: In many cases, traditional schooling isn't the only option. If you're really struggling, talk to your parents about other educational paths like homeschooling or online schooling. These alternatives may offer a more flexible schedule and a learning environment that might suit you better. 
6. Learn about stress management: School can be stressful, but there may be ways to manage it. Try practicing mindfulness techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. These can help you stay calm and focused, especially during tests or when you have a lot of homework. Taking time to relax and clear your mind can make a big difference in how you feel.
7. Prioritize mental and physical health: Taking care of yourself can be crucial for doing well in school. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, and exercising regularly. Don't ignore your mental health either – talk to someone if you're feeling down or overwhelmed. Balancing your mental and physical health can help you feel better and perform better in school.
8. Address bullying: Bullying can make school a tough place to be. If you're being bullied, it can be important to tell someone you trust, like a teacher, counselor, or parent. They can help you find ways to handle the situation. 
9. Practice patience and self-compassion: It can be frustrating if you don't seem to fit in right away, but finding your place in school often takes time. Be patient with yourself and keep trying to connect with others. Join clubs, talk to new people, and stay open to new experiences. 
10. Remember to ask for help: If you're struggling to connect with others or having trouble in school, it's okay to ask for help. Talk to a teacher, counselor, or your friends and family. They can offer support, advice, and resources to help you get through tough times. 

Tips for communicating with parents and teachers

Effective communication with parents and teachers can be essential for getting the support you deserve. Here are some tips to help you navigate these conversations.

1. Be honest and open: Share your feelings and struggles honestly with your parents and teachers. They may not be able to help you if they don’t know what you’re going through.
2. Ask for specific help: Instead of simply saying you’re struggling, be specific about the areas in which you need help. For example, ask your math teacher for extra practice problems or talk to your parents about the importance of having a quiet study space at home.
3. Stay positive and respectful: Approach conversations with a positive and respectful attitude. Even if you’re frustrated, staying calm and respectful can lead to more productive discussions and solutions.
4. Follow up: After discussing your concerns, follow up to show that you’re committed to improving. This can build trust and demonstrate your dedication to overcoming challenges.

Resources for students struggling with school

1. Teen Line:Teen Line offers a hotline, as well as text and email support for teenagers experiencing various challenges, including school stress and bullying. Peer counselors provide support and guidance.
2. StopBullying.gov:This website offers information on how to recognize, prevent, and respond to bullying. It provides resources for students, parents, and educators to address and stop bullying.
3. Understood:Understood provides resources and support for students with learning and attention challenges. It offers information on learning disabilities, ADHD, and other difficulties, as well as strategies for success in school.

Struggling with school?

Speak with a therapist to explore the situation

How therapy can help

Therapy can be a valuable resource for students grappling with issues at school. If you are experiencing school-related stress, online therapy can provide an opportunity to connect with a therapist who understands the specific challenges you face. It also offers more flexibility to fit therapy sessions into your busy life, whether you're managing homework, extracurricular activities, or personal commitments. 

Research shows that online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can effectively reduce anxiety and depression, with many individuals reporting significant improvements. This type of therapy can be particularly useful for students who are overwhelmed by challenges with school, offering strategies to better manage emotions and improve overall well-being.