Social Anxiety In College: Why Do I Hate Going Out?

Though the purpose of college is primarily to further one’s education, the experience of college life is often portrayed as being centered around partying and socializing. In the United States, many of us may have heard the term “party school” to describe colleges and universities that are notoriously linked with party culture. While having a healthy social support system can be crucial, this doesn’t necessarily require college students to attend parties or engage in binge drinking. However, if a sense of resistance or fear of socializing causes significant distress for you, it could be a sign of an underlying mental health condition like social anxiety disorder. In many cases, this and other mental health concerns can be effectively treated with therapy.

Why do I hate going out? 

For many years, television, film, social media, and American culture as a whole have often perpetuated the notion that most people in college are drinking alcohol, going to bars, and partying on a near-daily basis. While the culture of college parties may remain prevalent for some, this is not the reality for many students. 

In fact, studies show that mild to severe symptoms of social anxiety tend to be prevalent among college students. As knowledge about the importance of self-care, stress management, and mental well-being is becoming more prevalent on college campuses, many students are challenging the perpetuation of toxic party culture. Still, the pressure to engage in these activities can contribute to anxiety and a sense of inadequacy for those who aren’t constantly socializing. 

There are a number of valid reasons you might opt to skip the house parties and bar outings, such as those listed below. 

• Introversion: While some individuals thrive in highly social settings, many tend to enjoy spending time independently. Introverted students might prefer quiet, solitary activities or quality time with a few close friends.
• Perception of fun: What constitutes fun for one person might not be enjoyable for another. Some students may prefer staying in to going out.
• Dislike of small talk: Engaging in small talk can be seen as tedious and draining for some students, potentially leading them to dislike going out when small talk is expected.
• Academic stress: Heavy coursework and the pressure to succeed academically can lead students to prioritize studying over social events.
• Substance use pressure: The expectation to drink alcohol or interact with people who are under the influence at social events can deter students who are uncomfortable with substance use.
• Financial constraints: The cost of going out, including transportation, food, and entertainment, can be prohibitive for students on a tight budget.
• Need for rest: Balancing academics, work, and a person’s social life can take a significant amount of energy, potentially making rest and relaxation at home more appealing than going out.

Regardless of your reasoning, the choice to go out is yours. Prioritizing your education, interests, health, and mental well-being over direct or perceived peer pressure can be vital. However, in some cases, avoiding social outings may be a sign of a deeper issue, such as social anxiety disorder. 

Recognizing the signs of social anxiety disorder

Recognizing the symptoms of social anxiety disorder (SAD) in college students can be essential. SAD, also known as social phobia, tends to be characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one might be judged, embarrassed, or scrutinized by others. 

For college students, these symptoms can interfere with daily life, often making it difficult to attend classes, participate in group projects, and engage in typical college social activities. Recognizing these symptoms can be the first step toward seeking help and managing social anxiety, ensuring that students can have a fulfilling and balanced college experience.

Other mental health conditions

In addition to social anxiety disorder, several other conditions may contribute to college students avoiding social gatherings. 

1. Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD): Typically characterized by chronic worry and tension, students with GAD may avoid social situations due to fears unrelated to social interaction.
2. Depression: Students with depression may experience low energy, a lack of interest in activities, and social withdrawal, possibly leading them to avoid social gatherings.
3. Panic disorder: The fear of having a panic attack in public can lead students with this disorder to avoid social situations.
4. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): Obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors can make social interactions stressful, potentially leading to avoidance.
5. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Students who have experienced trauma may avoid social gatherings due to triggers or heightened anxiety in certain environments.
6. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD): Social interactions can be challenging for students on the autism spectrum, possibly leading to avoidance of social gatherings.
7. Avoidant personality disorder: Frequently characterized by severe shyness and a fear of rejection, students with this disorder may avoid social interactions to prevent embarrassment or a sense of inadequacy.
8. Substance use disorders: Dependence on alcohol or other substances can lead to isolation and avoidance of social situations that don't involve substance use.
9. Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD): Preoccupation with perceived physical flaws can make social interactions distressing, potentially leading to avoidance.
10. Social communication disorder: Difficulties with verbal and nonverbal communication can make social situations overwhelming for some students.

How therapy can help

While choosing a more subdued social life in college can be perfectly acceptable, it may be important to recognize when difficulty socializing is disrupting your daily life. In many cases, therapy can serve as a valuable resource and form of professional support. 

By consulting a qualified mental health professional, students may find guidance toward a proper diagnosis and effective treatment methods. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) tends to be a highly effective treatment for social anxiety and other mental health conditions that may involve distress and avoidance behaviors in college students. 

CBT generally works by helping individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and behaviors, gradually exposing them to feared social situations in a controlled manner to reduce anxiety. Additionally, CBT can assist individuals in building essential social skills. Through role-playing exercises and social skills training, students can learn how to initiate conversations and develop assertiveness, which can boost their confidence in social settings. 

Online therapy has emerged as a convenient and cost-effective option for college students on a tight budget. It can also provide flexibility, which can be particularly beneficial for students with busy schedules or heavy workloads. 

According to a 2022 study, online cognitive behavioral therapy can greatly improve social anxiety disorder symptoms. More than 70% of the study’s participants no longer qualified for a social anxiety disorder diagnosis after completing online treatment.