Kevin’s Story: How BetterHelp Rebuilt My Trust In The Therapeutic Process
Kevin had previously sought out mental health services in person and online but had largely negative experiences. This changed when he discovered BetterHelp. After being connected with a mental health professional he felt comfortable with, Kevin was able to work through issues like anxiety, loneliness, LGBT issues, and relationship problems. If you, like Kevin, have had poor experiences with therapy in the past, you may wish to give online therapy a try.
Please note that Kevin’s story (below) has been lightly edited for grammar and clarity.
Kevin’s previous experiences with mental health services
“Prior to BetterHelp, I had sought out in-person counseling services and one other online app but had negative experiences with both. The in-person therapist I was seeing kept raising their prices and was not very helpful or supportive. The online counseling app I was using locked me into one therapist where I had to be granted permission to switch therapists, even though I felt my assigned therapist was not a good fit. I left this online counseling app angry and frustrated, but was not ready to completely give up on online counseling as this worked better with my busy schedule.”
How Kevin found BetterHelp
“Therefore, I continued to look for and research other online counseling services. This is when I found BetterHelp! I could switch counselors as many times as I liked until I found a good fit and was lucky enough to be matched to Dr. Ortiz on my third match. I've now been working with Dr. Ortiz for a record of five months with significant improvements.”
Changes Kevin experienced after treatment through BetterHelp
“When signing up for BetterHelp, I was seeking assistance building trust with a therapist, as my trust had been broken after several failed experiences both in person and online. I was also going through a life transition that included broken relationships, animosity within a social group, situations within my career, LGBT issues, loneliness, and anxiety. I believe I have now improved and strengthened my trust in the therapeutic process. I have also been able to slowly move away from my past circumstances and my anxiety, so life has improved. In comparison to five months ago, I have learned not to react to my emotions, but to wait until the strength of the emotion has lessened to make a solid decision at that time.
I've begun thinking about life more positively, and my anxiety attacks have lessened. I have been equipped with many valuable tools by my counselor, such as not taking ownership of situations I have no control over and not breathing life into words that can bring me down. Words are powerful, and the more you tell yourself things that are not true, the more they can come true. I have now been able to think through decisions better before making any large decisions.
Consider online therapy
A few of the potential benefits of choosing online therapy over traditional therapy are its availability, affordability, and customizability. If you’ve previously had unhelpful experience with mental health services, you may find that having options, such as the ability to switch therapists and the ability to schedule sessions at times that fit into your busy schedule, makes the experience much more successful.
As this study explains, online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy for treating a vast array of mental health disorders. Don’t hesitate to get the support you deserve if you feel you might benefit from giving online therapy a try. You may find, just like Kevin, that online therapy is what you need to begin moving forward and making progress.
Takeaway
Although Kevin had previous experience with mental health services, he hadn’t yet found a therapist that felt right and was able to help him in the way he deserved. Once Kevin discovered the BetterHelp therapeutic process and connected with a mental health professional he clicked with, it became possible to make progress on a variety of his concerns, such as broken relationships, loneliness, and anxiety. If you’ve had a poor experience with therapy in the past, please don’t let it hold you back from reaching out and getting help now. Online therapy may be an excellent place to begin.
I’ve had negative experiences with therapy, should I go back?
If it’s your first time trying therapy, it can be a bit uncomfortable at first. Those feelings are natural and Theresa Nguyen, chief research officer at Mental Health America, recommends going to three to five sessions with a therapist before deciding if it’s the right fit.
Ask yourself, “Is this a person I could imagine sharing vulnerable information with?”, “Do I think I can be honest with them, and do I trust them?”, and “Do I feel respected by them?” If you don’t feel safe with your therapist, it’s a good idea to try working with someone else.
According to one survey, 52% of people find a therapist who they trust and feel comfortable with on the first try, but 48% of people will meet with two or more therapists before finding the right match. Still, 75% of people who try therapy say they get at least some benefit from it, so it’s likely still worth finding a therapist who works for you.
How can you tell when your mental health is low?
Some signs of low mental health include the following:
Mood swings, overwhelming emotions, or irritability
Withdrawal from social activities and things that used to bring you joy
Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or recalling information
Difficulty completing chores and maintaining personal hygiene, such as leaving dirty dishes out or forgetting to shower
Feelings of sadness, low mood, depression, emptiness, disconnect, numbness, or emptiness
Suicidal thoughts or self-harm
Seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, or tasting things that others don’t (hallucinations)
Physical symptoms, such as migraines, gastrointestinal symptoms, muscle tension, or low back pain
Some of these signs and symptoms may indicate an underlying mental health disorder. If you’re experiencing symptoms that concern you or interfere with your life, make an appointment with your medical practitioner. They can run tests to see if medications or physical conditions may be causing your symptoms.
Why is therapy so expensive?
Here are some of the reasons therapy can be cost-prohibitive:
Licensed therapists are trained professionals who undergo years of accredited university education, supervised training (typically 1,000-4,000 hours), examinations, licensing, and continued education. This takes years and can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.
The work these professionals do can be emotionally demanding and draining, meaning that many therapists are limited in the number of clients they can see.
A Government Accountability Office report found that insurance reimbursement rates are often inadequate for mental health services. This often means that mental health providers stop accepting insurance altogether and bill patients directly, which can make therapy financially inaccessible for many.
Work outside of sessions: Therapists spend time outside sessions continuing their education, planning, notetaking, scheduling, billing, and marketing. This time is often factored into the rates they charge.
Many therapists offer sliding-scale rates based on the ability to pay, which can improve accessibility. Online therapy platforms, like BetterHelp, don’t accept insurance, but their fees are typically comparable to what you might expect from an in-network insurance co-payment.
What is emotional validation in therapy?
Emotional validation refers to the acknowledgment and acceptance of your or someone else's emotions without judgment, criticism, or trying to change them. When your therapist validates your emotions, they’ll encourage you to express and accept how you feel. If a therapist makes you feel judged, invalidated, or unheard, they’re probably not the right therapist for you.
Can you make time for mental health when you have a busy schedule?
Many people find once weekly, 30-minute therapy sessions sufficient to help them maintain or improve their mental health. If you are constrained by time limits, consider online therapy. Online therapy is typically more cost-effective and efficient, allowing you to save time spent commuting and schedule sessions outside of normal business hours.
In between sessions, self-care strategies like going on a 10-minute walk, reading, meditating for a few minutes per day, or practicing mindfulness in the shower can all help improve your mental health.
What types of challenges can online therapy help with?
Online cognitive behavioral therapy can be effective for many mental health disorders, including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar disorder, eating disorders, adjustment disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. While online therapy can be effective for many people, severe mental disorders, psychosis, and suicidal thoughts often require in-person care.
How can you tell when you’ve found the right therapist?
The right therapist should:
Actively listen to what you have to say without interrupting
Validate your emotions without judgment
Check in with you
Communicate information about the therapeutic process
Treat you as an ally and partner in improving your mental health
Make effort to earn your trust
Help you work toward your goals
Give you the tools and skills to improve your mental health on your own
Respect your boundaries
For some, it’s also helpful to find a therapist who’s aligned with your values or shares lifestyle choices, gender identity, sexuality, or culture. For example, if you’re navigating a substance use disorder, you might want to work with someone who’s had personal experiences with addiction.
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