Reclaiming My Life After Ending A Toxic Relationship: Kyah's Story
Experiencing life's ups and downs is often challenging, especially if you’re trying to handle things alone. Therapy can offer a way to regularly connect with a licensed mental health professional so you can express your thoughts and feelings without worrying about judgment. Kyah, a BetterHelp user, found that online therapy was an excellent form of treatment for her struggles with anxiety and a difficult breakup. Online therapy can be a treatment option for a wide variety of mental health concerns.
Kyah's story
Before finding BetterHelp, Kyah had tried in-person therapy but struggled to make it work for her schedule and budget. Online therapy can offer an affordable alternative, empowering you to attend sessions from the comfort of your home at times that work for you. You can communicate with your therapist in different ways, which may be helpful for those who prefer voice or messaging over video sessions.
In Kyah's story, she explains how BetterHelp helped her after a difficult split from a toxic relationship. Her therapist was also able to help her address other mental health concerns, such as general anxiety, helping her lead a happier life.
Kyah's story has been lightly edited for grammar and clarity.
How Kyah found BetterHelp
"I decided to sign up for BetterHelp about six months ago because I was experiencing some depression over a really difficult breakup and general anxiety. I also had some unresolved familial problems I knew I could talk about as well," began Kyah. "I was matched with my counselor, Cynara, and I haven't looked back since. She was the perfect fit for me, and I'm so thankful for her.
"I've been to an in-person counselor before, and while it was helpful, I struggled to get to my appointments with my erratic schedule and low funds. Our appointments went from weekly to every other week to monthly to not at all.
"I'm still thankful I went to an in-person counselor because she opened up doors for me to see therapy as a great tool in healing. However, cost and time kept me from going back to her.
"I learned about BetterHelp through some online research on my own. I listened to a podcast that advertised for Talkspace, a similar therapy company. I looked into their program, and BetterHelp came up in the search. I researched what would be the best fit for me between Talkspace and BetterHelp, and went with BetterHelp, as they have a financial aid program. That definitely made my choice easier."
Kyah's experience with BetterHelp
"I was in a really dark place when I signed up. I was mourning the loss of a toxic relationship and experiencing financial struggles, anxiety, and a slew of other problems. I cried almost every time I opened messages from Cynara or video chatted. It was slow and steady work, but I am in a much better place now.
"Working with Cynara has definitely improved my problem-solving in a healthy way," explained Kyah. "I make better choices and put myself in smarter situations to take care of myself. She's helped me work through a lot of things I had just pushed to the side. She's helped me rebuild my confidence in myself and my choices.
Online therapy is here for you
Many individuals like Kyah have found growth and happiness after starting online therapy.
Mental health benefits of online therapy
At BetterHelp, the world's largest network of licensed and accredited therapists, you can connect with a licensed mental health professional based on your needs and preferences. You can speak to your therapist via video call, phone call, or online chat on any device with an internet connection, and you can attend sessions from the location of your choice, making the experience customizable.
Effectiveness of online therapy
Studies generally show that online therapy can be just as effective as face-to-face therapy. Online therapy can treat many concerns, from depression and anxiety disorders to relationship challenges and self-esteem difficulties.
Takeaway
Frequently Asked Questions
Why ending a toxic relationship is essential for your well-being?
Toxic relationships are draining to your mental, emotional, and even physical health. Ending a toxic relationship frees you to start building safe and healthy habits and boundaries for your relationships going forward.
How to end a toxic relationship?
Ending a toxic relationship may be as simple as telling the person involved that you no longer wish to have a relationship with them and cutting contact, or as complicated as building an emergency exit plan with your full support network. What you need to do to end a toxic relationship will depend on your unique situation and what is required for your safety.
Why do people end up in toxic relationships?
Some toxic relationships begin as regular, healthy relationships and deteriorate over time due to outside factors like life stress and incompatibility, while others are toxic from the beginning thanks to an unhealthy dynamic or abuse on the part of one or both parties. Generally, people end up in toxic relationships because they are unable to set healthy boundaries for themselves for some reason (often due to personal trauma, but sometimes simply because of inexperience) or because they have not yet realized that the relationship has become toxic to them.
How do you end a toxic relationship on good terms while prioritizing your mental health?
If it is safe for you to do so, talk to your relationship partner and explain what about the relationship is toxic and how it is effecting you, then firmly set the boundary that you need to exit the relationship for your health. It is not wrong to need to end a relationship for your health - if the other person attempts to make you feel bad for doing so, they are exhibiting toxic behavior that is making you unsafe.
Why do I end up in unhealthy relationships, even after ending a toxic relationship?
In many cases, if a person has not taken the time necessary to heal themselves and develop their ability to set healthy boundaries after a toxic relationship, they may find themselves falling into further unhealthy relationships for the comfort that comes with familiarity.
How to end a toxic relationship when you still love them?
It is possible to love someone and still need to separate yourself from them. If you must end a toxic relationship with someone you love, it is best to cut contact completely and seek professional support to build up your sense of self and boundary setting abilities before considering attempting any kind of reconnection.
Why do people hold on to toxic relationships?
A person in a toxic relationship may have low self-esteem, leading them to believe that they do not deserve any better. They may be being manipulated or abused, making it difficult for them to leave or to even realize that the relationship is toxic to begin with.
Why do toxic people blame you?
A person blaming you for their own toxic behaviors is usually doing so to avoid taking responsibility or accountability for their actions.
What causes a person to be toxic?
Generally, people behave in toxic ways to others when they have been treated in toxic ways themselves; they may not know how to interact in any other way, or may feel that they are entitled to treat others poorly because they themselves were treated poorly and they feel the need for some kind of retribution.
Can a toxic person change for someone they love?
It is possible for a toxic person to change their behavior and start treating themselves and others in healthy ways, but it takes consistent, difficult internal work that they may not be willing to do. Having someone they love push and support them may help to motivate them, but this should never come at the expense of that person’s well-being.
Do toxic people know they are toxic?
Generally, a toxic person is either unaware or in denial of how their actions affect others. In the cases of active abusers, they are typically aware of their toxic behavior but believe that it is justified in some way.
- Previous Article
- Next Article