5 Ways You Can Improve Your Self-confidence As A Teenager

Medically reviewed by Julie Dodson, MA, LCSW and Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW
Updated October 12, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Without the right strategies and some intentionality, it can be hard to build self confidence and self esteem throughout your teen years, especially if you’re experiencing a lack of confidence right now. A lot is changing in your life as a teenager. You’re in the process of figuring out who you are and what you want, and there’s often pressure to fit in with your peers and act like other confident people you notice. That said, building self-confidence now can help you strengthen your mental health and set you up for success later in life. Let’s take a look at a few effective ways to build your confidence.

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What is self-confidence and why is it important?

The dictionary definition of self confidence is, “a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment”. It can apply to any aspect where you want to feel good about yourself, from your academic or athletic abilities to your appearance to your personal strengths or other characteristics. A sense of confidence can help you set realistic goals, believe in your own skills, weather challenges, develop healthy relationships with friends and family, feel more empowered when taking risks or chances, and cultivate good mental health. A lack of self confidence may cause you to experience a fear of failure or judgment that holds you back from going after what you really want. Plus, knowing how to create and hold on to self-confidence can benefit you for years to come. 

Tips for increasing self-confidence

Increasing your self-confidence is like building any other skill in that it takes patience, practice, and commitment, and is unlikely to happen overnight. Here are a few tips you can try to work on to build confidence over time.

  1. Care for yourself

It can be hard to feel confident in yourself if you’re not taking care of your body and mind. To give your confidence a boost, try cultivating healthy habits.

It’ll likely be easier for you to see the positives in yourself and your life if you eat well, exercise regularly, and keep a consistent sleep schedule. Developing such physical health practices can help you not focus as much on thoughts that make you feel bad about yourself, such as “I need to lose weight,” or “I’m not good enough as I am.” Being able to show yourself love in the form of self-care can remind you that you’re deserving of this type of care, which can boost your confidence over time.

  1. Practice setting boundaries

Learning to set boundaries for what you do and do not want or feel comfortable with is another way to increase your confidence. Confidence comes from feeling capable and in control, and the experience of standing up for yourself can lead to you feeling safer and happier as a result. Boundary-setting is also an important skill that can help you feel more confident with relationships in your adult life. 

If you’re feeling daunted at the prospect of standing up for yourself, you can start by practicing speaking up for what you want or need when the stakes are low. For instance, you can suggest your own topic idea when working on a group project at school, or you can say no to extracurricular activities you don’t have time for or simply aren’t interested in. Over time, you’ll likely grow more confident in knowing what you want, and in communicating that to others.

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  1. Avoid mental filtering

Mental filtering is just one of over a dozen common cognitive distortions, or flawed, unhelpful ways of thinking and speaking to ourselves that can affect our mental health. Noticing these potentially negative patterns is the first step toward being able to work on them, since they’re usually automatic thoughts that many of us aren’t normally aware of. 

Mental filtering involves magnifying the negative aspects of a situation and minimizing or ignoring the positive ones. Once you start noticing this tendency in yourself, you can work on building yourself up. Try not to minimize your achievements or overemphasize your mistakes, and regularly remind yourself of your skills, good qualities and accomplishments. Research has demonstrated that when you practice positive self-talk, you are likely to experience less anxiety and perform better in a variety of situations. Making an effort to replace thoughts that show signs of mental filtering with more positive ones can have significant benefits. 

  1. Practice mindfulness

It’s never too early in life to learn how to cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness can offer a host of benefits, including being present in the world to experience joy more fully and not feeling as much stress when negative emotions arise, both of which may also help you feel more confident. Studies have also shown that mindfulness may be linked to better mental health outcomes in general, including lower levels of depression and anxiety. To start practicing mindfulness, you might try a free guided meditation that you can find online, or practice pausing a time or two throughout your day to ground yourself in your breath by inhaling and exhaling deeply a few times. You can also focus on the present by taking a break to listen to the sounds around you, or to write about what you see and feel.

Three teenagers walk with confidence down an allyway in a large city.
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Looking to build confidence?
  1. Speak with a therapist

Some studies point to a link between low self-esteem and depression. If you feel you may be experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition, it can be important to get appropriate treatment. However, note that even if you don’t have concerns about a specific mental health condition, receiving guidance from a trained therapist can be useful. They can help you uncover past trauma, limiting beliefs, or other cognitive distortions that may be holding you back from feeling confident enough to pursue big goals. They can also assist you in identifying healthy ways to manage your emotions, take care of yourself, and grow your confidence overall. A therapist may be able to help you figure out your strengths and weaknesses and how to overcome challenges you face while maximizing things you’re naturally good at. They may also encourage you to try new things to build your confidence that you may find scary at first, such as public speaking or making new friends with people you wouldn’t have thought of spending time with.

If you’re interested in the convenience of online therapy, there are plenty of resources available. Virtual therapy platforms such as TeenCounseling can match you with a licensed mental health professional whom you can speak with via phone, video call, and/or online chat. They can help you address the concerns or challenges you may be facing and work with you on strategies for building a sense of self-confidence that can help you now and in the future, whether that is within your relationships, your job, or your overall sense of well-being.

Takeaway

Having a healthy sense of self-confidence can help you in various aspects of your life. Confident people often experience fewer mental health challenges and feel more in control of their lives. The tips in this article may help you increase your confidence over time.
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