Common Challenges of Parenting Teens And Strategies To Improve Parenting Skills

Parenting can be challenging at any stage of child development, but the teen years tend to be difficult for parents and caregivers. Parents may experience multiple sources of worry about their teens, who may not know how to express what they’re feeling. This lack of communication can lead to isolation and confusion, adding to parental stress. Below, explore common challenges related to parenting teens and strategies for enhancing parenting skills and protecting teens’ mental health. 

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Challenges of the teen years

One study by NPR, the Harvard School of Public Health, and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation found that 34% of respondents who lived with a teenager experienced significant stress over the past month. The teenage years tend to be a time of major transition, often contributing to this stress.

As teens age, they undergo significant development—physically, emotionally, and cognitively. This period often makes teens believe they are ready for more autonomy, even though they still typically rely on their parents to meet their needs. This situation can lead to frustration and conflict with parents. Parents may desire to give their teens more independence yet worry that they’re not ready at their current stage of development.

Social media and parenting teenagers

Social media can be a significant source of conflict between teens and parents. While social media can allow young people to connect with others in meaningful ways, research shows that these platforms can be harmful to teens’ mental health. In 2023, the U.S. surgeon general issued an advisory warning the public about the dangers of social media platforms for teen mental health. According to a study of teens aged 12 to 15, those who spent more than three hours per day on social media had twice the risk of mental health challenges, including anxiety and depression.  

Parents often try to protect their teens from negative influences online, including dangerous messages about body image, which can sometimes lead to eating disorders or self-harm. Social media often leads teens to compare themselves and develop unrealistic expectations about beauty and body shape. To protect teens, parents may use filters that keep teens from seeing certain content, but this messaging tends to be prevalent not only in pornography but also in regular social media posts. 

Parents may think that their teens will resent them if they don’t allow them to use social media platforms, which allow teens to connect with classmates and friends. However, even this type of social media use can sometimes affect teens’ mental health and lead them to feel excluded. For example, teens who see a group of classmates at a social outing may feel left out, which can affect their self-esteem. 

Pressure experienced by parents during the teen years

The parents of teenagers often worry about the influence of friends and classmates on their children. Despite warning their teens about staying away from alcohol and other substances, parents often are concerned about the pressure their teens might feel to begin using substances. 

Parents might set curfews and rules to protect their teens from dangerous situations where teens may engage in risky behavior, such as binge drinking and unsafe sex. However, teens may push back against rules out of a desire for independence. They may pressure their parents by telling them other parents give their friends more freedom. This pressure can make parents stressed and cause them to question whether they’re being too strict even though they intend to protect their teens from harm. 

How parents can improve parenting skills

Despite the myriad challenges and life stressors parents of teens can face, researchers have discovered numerous strategies that may help parents improve their parenting, including the following. 

Maintain open lines of communication during the teen years.

An open line of communication can reduce the chance of arguments between parents and teens. Parents might consider establishing a norm that they will always maintain communication no matter the source of disagreement. Even if a disagreement can’t be entirely resolved on a given night, parents might establish a habit of always saying goodnight and agreeing to discuss the topic the next day. In some cases, this may seem impossible, but doing so could reduce the intensity of the conflict.  

Decide at what age teens can use social media

Parents often experience conflict with their teens and adolescents about social media use. They might reduce conflict by setting a minimum age for social media use and sticking to this rule for each child. Parents may feel pressure to bend the rules, but consistency for all children in the home could reduce conflict. 

Limit adolescent and parent phone use

Another common source of parental conflict tends to be related to cell phone use. Setting limits for phone use and screen time may be more challenging than setting limits for social media use, as many parents want their kids to have a phone for safety. However, parents may be able to help their teens by setting an example and limiting their own phone use. For example, parents might put their phones in another room during mealtimes and ask their kids to do the same. Teens might initially feel frustrated but eventually come to see mealtimes as a break from the constant barrage of negative news and messages from various apps. 

Therapy for parent support

Online mental health support for those parenting teens

Some parents may feel nervous about seeing a therapist in their immediate community. However, support is available through online therapy platforms like BetterHelp for adults and TeenCounseling for teens aged 13 to 19. With an online platform, parents of teens can choose from more than 30,000 therapists nationwide, which may make it easier to find someone who specializes in supporting the parents of teens. 

Parents can communicate with an online therapist via phone, video calls, or live chat from home or anywhere with an internet connection. They can also contact their therapist at any time through in-app messaging, and their therapist will reply as soon as possible. This online therapy feature may be helpful for nights when parents lie awake, worried about their teens. They can express their feelings in the moment instead of waiting until the next therapy session. 

In addition, online therapy is effective in numerous peer-reviewed studies. One study published in 2020 found that online therapy was effective for anxiety and depression, with participants showing sustained improvements nine months after the start of the intervention.  

Are you the parent of a teenager?

Connect with a counselor