Struggling To Ask For Mental Health Help: How To Tell Your Parents You Have Anxiety

Medically reviewed by Elizabeth Erban, LMFT, IMH-E and Corey Pitts, MA, LCMHC, LCAS, CCS
Updated October 15, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Whether you’ve recently learned about anxiety or have suddenly found yourself experiencing it yourself, anxious feelings can be challenging to manage as a teenager. Like depression, anxiety is common, and many people begin to experience it during their teenage years. However, anxiety is treatable, and learning how to cope with it at a younger age can be an important skill that can help you as you move into adulthood. 

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Learn about anxiety and ways to talk to a parent

One of the common challenges that you may face as a teenager is how to tell your parents you have anxiety. While this can be scary at first, know that you are not alone. In this article, we’ll look at the symptoms of anxiety and ways to talk to your parents or loved ones about your anxiety.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is defined by the American Psychological Association as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure."

Situational anxiety 

Most people experience the feeling of anxiety at some point in their life. For example, before doing a class presentation, you may feel anxious or afraid speaking in front of people. In these situations, after the situation that’s causing anxiety is addressed, anxious feelings often begin to disappear.

Coping with anxiety during major life changes

Major life changes can also result in anxiety, especially if they feel imposed on you against your will. If you’ve recently experienced a shift affecting your lifestyle, such as a familial divorce or loss of a loved one, it’s possible that you are experiencing anxious thoughts and feelings. These major changes can make you aware of aspects of life that you hadn’t thought of before and can make you feel worried, sad, or stressed. It’s common to experience painful feelings like anxiety during such life changes.

Anxiety disorders

Anxiety disorders, however, can result in persistent anxious thoughts that can make even a small event seem like a big deal. It is often difficult to focus on anything but the present worry in your mind, and these feelings are sometimes accompanied by physiological responses. These physical responses can include: 

  • Trouble breathing
  • An elevated heart rate
  • Sweaty palms
  • A feeling of pressure in the chest

Sometimes these symptoms are so common that you may not even realize that what is happening is not always a normal response to stress. If you find yourself feeling these symptoms frequently, you may want to talk to an online counselor. They can explore your symptoms with you and possibly provide some proven strategies and coping skills to help reduce your anxiety, regardless of the cause. 

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How to tell your parents you have anxiety

If you’ve decided you want to speak to a parent or any person in your life about your anxious thoughts and feelings, you may be wondering how to begin that conversation. It can be challenging to open up a conversation around mental health, especially if it’s not commonly discussed in your household. However, doing so may feel like a big relief, and result in a deeper connection and a strong sense of support.

First, it might be helpful to remember that because anxiety is common, the person you want to talk to may have experienced it themselves at times. You might try to avoid making judgments over how they may react before the conversation. Here are some other tips that may help you start the conversation with your family.

Writing down your thoughts

Some people find it easier to speak to a loved one about anxiety or other mental health concerns if they write out their thoughts or feelings first. By clearly stating what you want to say for yourself, you might end up feeling relaxed and more prepared for going into such a conversation. You could also give these thoughts to a loved one in the form of a letter if a conversation doesn’t feel comfortable for you. 

Finding the right time

You may want to find a time when your parent or loved one isn’t busy on another task and can really take in what you have to say. This could be at the dinner table, or you could schedule a time to have a conversation. Sometimes it’s as simple as going to the person and clearly asking, “Can I talk to you about something?” However, if you feel nervous about talking in person, you might find it easier to text them.

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Learn about anxiety and ways to talk to a parent

Talking to someone else first

Also, if you don’t yet feel comfortable going directly to your parents or guardian, you can go to another trusted adult in your life. If you feel at all unsafe in your home or if your parent or guardian is the one causing you anxiety or stress, it may be better to speak to one of the other adults in your life. This could be family, a school counselor, a doctor, or even a teacher.

Sometimes it can be helpful to talk to friends that you see often about feelings of anxiety. By first talking about your thoughts and feelings with peers that you trust, you might find it easier to open up to families. In fact, it’s possible that doing so can bring you closer to your friends, as they, too, may be experiencing anxiety. 

You’re not alone

Even if it may feel like it sometimes, you are not alone in experiencing anxiety. Anxiety disorders are among the most common types of mental illness in North America, and lots of other people your age are likely to have similar thoughts and feelings. Even if you feel isolated at times, there is help out there.

Terron Simpson, LCMHC
Terron has made me feel comfortable opening up to him since the first session. I went into counseling with certain issues and one by one he’s helped me tackle them; whether it was issues with my parents, my confidence, or anxiety he’s helped me grow into a healthy mindset where I now want to continue to improve. He has given me great insight into situations I felt conflicted over and his perspective was always something I keep in mind.”

Seeking Additional support for anxiety and mental health

If you need extra help finding an answer to questions about your anxious feelings, you can visit the Child Mind Institute online. This is a nonprofit that exists to help children and teens experiencing mental health challenges and learning disabilities, as well as their families. They offer free advice, and in some areas may have school programs and other support available. 

The importance of social interaction and seeking professional help

Anxiety may also make you feel like you want to be alone or make you feel unsettled when you’re around other people. Though there is nothing wrong with wanting to take time on your own to recharge, being around other people can be an important aspect of development. You may begin to feel sad if you are isolated from your peers. Spending time in group settings may help you meet different kinds of people, including those who experience similar concerns. One way you might find people that you like to spend time with is to join school clubs or activities that interest you. You may also find support groups for teens who experience anxiety or other concerns.

Feelings of anxiety are common but important to address. Though anxiety may make you feel isolated or confused, talking to someone about how you feel can help give you the tools you need to cope with anxious thoughts. It’s never too soon to seek out professional help with anxiety.

Exploring online therapy options

BetterHelp (18+) and TeenCounseling (13-19) both offer online therapy where you can speak to a friendly counselor who can listen and offer guidance for your particular situation. You can talk to a therapist completely online, which may be helpful if you’re experiencing anxiety or can’t get to a counselor’s office.

With TeenCounseling, you can meet with a professional therapist on your laptop, your tablet, or even your phone. Online therapy has been shown to be just as effective as in-person therapy for teens, and it may give you the chance to understand your anxiety symptoms better.

Takeaway

If you’re experiencing anxiety, you don’t have to try to overcome it alone. You can talk to a licensed counselor who has experience helping teens with anxiety and related concerns. They can hear your challenges, and may even help you understand how to talk to your family about your anxiety in a way that feels safe and comfortable for you. Take the first step and reach out today.
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