Tips On How To Deal With Rejection

Medically reviewed by Elizabeth Erban, LMFT, IMH-E
Updated October 4, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Rejection can be painful and can come in many forms for teens: their parents, school of choice, not making the team or the school play, job hunting, finding a romantic partner, first date, new friends, social rejection, etc. However, one of the most difficult types of rejection teens may be the romantic rejection of someone they care for when they express their feelings for them. No one likes to feel rejected, however, learning how to deal with rejection is an important part of life. Below, we’ll discuss some ways to help work through the emotions that come with rejection.

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There are healthy ways to move past rejection

How to cope with rejection

Even though rejection hurts, it is a common experience that many people go through at some point in life. It can be daunting to take a chance and tell someone you have feelings for them and face rejection, but that's a normal part of life. Dealing with rejection is not easy and can lead to self-doubt and impact your well-being. There are many strategies to help you to deal with rejection, you might consider why you would be disappointed or upset about their reaction as a strategy for coming to terms with their decision. This may help you work through potential worries, insecurities, and other factors, such as "Do stretch marks go away," that could make you feel worse.

During this process, you might also reassure yourself that you matter and of your positive qualities and your independence. Having a healthy sense of self-worth and a foundation for self-esteem may provide a basis for handling rejection. If you have confidence in yourself, it may be easier to bounce back from rejection.

Ways to practice mindfulness

When you experience rejection, either romantically or just in life, you may wonder where to go next. It is important to have some self-care strategies for dealing with the negative thoughts and emotions that you may have immediately after. Some different ideas to help you realize that you are in control and to assist you in moving forward include:

Use self-affirmations

Self-affirmation is the practice of making a list of positive aspects of yourself. You don't have to be the only person who comes up with positive affirmations either; you might talk among your support group for some additional traits that others appreciate about you.

Spend time with others

That same support group may help you come to terms with rejection a little faster. Whether they're taking your mind off of the events through other activities or they're talking through your rough emotions, spending time in the company of close friends, family, and trusted professionals may help.

Practice forward thinking

You might try practicing forward-thinking, which entails turning your mind to your personal future. You may be experiencing rejection now, but that’s not the only thing going on in your life. You can try to focus on other hobbies, new activities, and maybe finding someone new. You may find that you can use rejection as a step in the right direction toward where you want to be in the long run.

Practice healthy hobbies

Negative escapism sometimes involves removing yourself from reality through video games, books, or other activities to avoid the present. Instead, in order to be mindful, you might think of hobbies that put you in the present moment and promote positive thinking.

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Allow yourself to feel your present emotions

It may seem counterintuitive to let yourself experience negative emotions. However, mishandling negative emotions can increase your risk of mental health conditions and is not a good response to rejection. Instead, acknowledge the negative feelings in order to pinpoint exactly where the problem is.

Interpret your negative thoughts

Pinpointing your concerns surrounding rejection may allow you to discover more about yourself and your internal self-image. Interpreting these thoughts may give you the opportunity to identify parts of yourself that may benefit from adjustments. Do you experience insecurity about the person disliking a part of you? Are you stressed about being alone? Where do your priorities lie? Which relationships are most important to you? Answering some of these questions and discussing the results among your support group may help you not only start working on those anxieties but also find someone who can help lift you in similar moments.

Accepting and establishing boundaries

Humans are social creatures and part of being a social creature means meeting new friends and striking up conversations. Regardless of whether you are friends or acquaintances with the person you’re talking to, there may be subsequent boundaries that need to be met afterward. It might be easier if you’re asking a stranger out, as you can accept the rejection and walk away. If you don’t have anything in common, you can consider it a passing interaction.

Getty/Luis Alvarez
There are healthy ways to move past rejection

However, when it comes to someone you may run into frequently or you have mutual friends with, it can feel more difficult to disregard the rejection and further attempts to interact with this person may lead to more rejection. You might consider talking with a support group consisting of friends, family, and possibly a mental health professional. They may provide insight on how you can successfully ask someone out and help you get reasonably prepared for a possible rejection. Regardless of how much you care for a person who rejects you, you can respect their desire for space or distance in communication and move forward with self-confidence.

Boundaries may also come in the form of not talking about it. While you might not benefit from blocking out all the feelings and pain you experience from being rejected, you don't necessarily need to talk that out with the other person. Discussing your feelings with a support system may help you feel better about your underlying concerns. However, discussing this with the person who rejected could have the opposite effect. Even if they're someone you're close with and trust in other aspects of your life, taking time to work on your concerns away from that person could promote independence and strength.

Remaining respectful

In some situations, a rejection can catch you off guard. Sometimes, you may be under the impression that you and the other person are on the same page or you feel comfortable enough to talk with them. You may find that being prepared to give you both some space is important for keeping a friendship from feeling uncomfortable. While you may be going through disappointment or other challenging emotions, giving yourself some space is not wrong and might be beneficial for your mental health.

If you’re feeling upset about rejection, you might remove yourself from the situation. You can accept the rejection, walk away, and discuss any confusion or frustration with a trusted friend who can help you talk through it in a productive environment.

It may be helpful to cultivate the habit of reaching out for help early on. A mental health professional can provide an empathetic, neutral environment where you can discuss your feelings. Between the stressors of school, social life, and hormonal changes, you don’t have to navigate the challenges of this period alone, especially when you’re trying to come to terms with challenging feelings after a rejection.

With online mental health resources from networks like BetterHelp (18+) or TeenCounseling (13-19), you can talk to a licensed counselor about how to handle rejection. If you don’t feel comfortable going to a counselor’s office after experiencing a rejection, you can talk to an online counselor. Online therapy has been shown to be just as effective as in-person therapy, and with both TeenCounseling and BetterHelp, you can message your counselor via live chat or in-app messaging. 

Takeaway

If you’re experiencing challenging feelings after a rejection, you’re not alone. You can be matched with a licensed therapist with experience helping people navigate the emotions that often come with rejection. Take the first step and reach out today.
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