Tips For Reducing Emotional Reactivity And Building Emotional Stability
Human emotions can be intense and powerful, sometimes leading people to behave in ways they later regret. Virtually all of us are prone to being affected by strong emotions from time to time, but those who are particularly emotionally reactive may have even more difficulty maintaining control in the face of intense feelings. If you’ve noticed that emotional reactivity is negatively impacting your life, read on for strategies that may help you more effectively manage what you feel.
What emotional reactivity can look like
Emotional reactivity refers to a tendency toward emotional reactions that are:
- Easily activated;
- Intense;
- and/or long-lasting.
Examples could include getting very angry at a small inconvenience, feeling sad for days after receiving a minor piece of criticism, or frequently saying things you later regret out of frustration in the moment. As you can imagine, having a high level of emotional reactivity has the potential to negatively impact a person’s life. First, it can lead to frequent feelings of distress that can interfere with daily functioning. It can also affect a person’s relationships, since it can cause them to have trouble managing interpersonal conflict and lead them to say harmful things they don’t mean. Becoming less emotionally reactive is generally possible, however, with patience and practice.
Note that although they are often confused, emotional reactivity is related to reactivity psychology. The former refers to easily triggered emotional reactions in an individual, whereas the latter refers to the phenomenon of a person changing their behavior when they know they’re being observed.
What causes emotional reactivity?
In general, humans are wired to react to our emotions. If we’re feeling stressed, for example, our body will experience a cascade of physiological changes to enable us to respond to a threat—which can include altered balances of neurotransmitter levels that can affect our mood. So although people can generally learn to better manage their emotional responses, some measure of emotional reactivity is built in. Some people may also be more reactive or more stoic simply due to their natural personality.
It’s also important to note that many additional factors can increase a person’s level of emotional reactivity, such as:
- Depression. An individual experiencing depression may be more emotionally reactive than a person who is not, perhaps because the condition may override a person’s normal emotional functioning.
- Past trauma. Research has linked living through a traumatic experience(s)—especially in childhood, like abuse or neglect—to the potential for increased emotional reactivity and difficulties with emotional control in general. Those who develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after such an experience have also been found to demonstrate increased emotional reactivity.
- Some personality disorders. Emotional reactivity may also be a symptom of some personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder.
- Traumatic brain injuries. This type of injury can have a wide range of potential effects depending on its severity and the part of the brain impacted. Increased emotional reactivity is one of these possible effects.
Five tips for increasing emotional stability
There are many factors that can go into an individual’s high level of emotional reactivity, so there’s no single solution that will effectively reduce it for everyone. Instead, you might experiment with a variety of techniques for boosting your emotion control skills and increasing your emotional stability overall. As a result, you may be able to decrease your own levels of distress, increase your resilience to stress and other challenges, and improve your relationships.
1. Identify what triggers strong emotions for you
Journaling is one way to do this. You can write about past circumstances where you were reactive in order to figure out exactly why. Over time, you might see patterns emerge. For example, you could come to notice that you immediately feel angry whenever you receive any criticism because of a tendency toward perfectionism. Equipped with this information, you may be able to work on the root issue so that you become less reactive over time.
2. Take a break before responding
If you’re prone to emotional reactivity, giving yourself time before you respond to a charged situation can be helpful. While it’s not possible in every case, stepping away to take a few deep breaths and center yourself before responding can give you the time you need to get your reactions under control before engaging with the person or situation that triggered strong feelings.
3. Learn relaxation exercises
Finding ways to help calm your body and mind when a strong emotional reaction takes hold can help you regain control in moments of reactivity. Deep breathing exercises, for example, can help evoke a physical relaxation response. Practicing these regularly and in times of emotional stress may enable your body and mind to find this place of calm as needed when faced with difficult situations.
4. Develop an awareness of your thoughts and feelings
Someone who is experiencing emotional reactivity is often not aware of the steps involved in them going from calm to distressed, because they tend to occur in quick succession. Taking measures to develop a greater awareness of your thoughts and feelings can help you realize when they’re shifting so you can take action to calm yourself or find a healthy outlet. For example, instead of letting yourself jump straight to anger when someone makes a comment you disagree with, you can start learning to notice when such an emotion begins to come over you instead of immediately feeling overtaken by it. Engaging in a mindfulness practice, such as mindfulness meditation, can help you cultivate the ability to create this gap over time.
5. Speak with a therapist
A therapist can be a helpful resource on your journey toward becoming less emotionally reactive. They can help you enact the tips above, from identifying situations that make you feel especially reactive to learning mindfulness and relaxation exercises to help you cope. They can also support you in addressing any symptoms of a mental health condition you may be experiencing if they are contributing to your reactivity.
While therapy was traditionally only available in person, there are now additional options for those with certain availability needs or who simply prefer engaging in therapy from the comfort of home. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, for example, you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging from anywhere you have an internet connection. Research suggests that online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy in many cases, so you can typically choose the format that works best for you.
Takeaway
What is the lack of emotional reactivity?
A lack of emotional reactivity is sometimes called "reduced affect display" or "emotional blunting." This reduced emotional activity presents as a diminishment of or failure to verbally or nonverbally express emotions, particularly when exposed to stimuli that would ordinarily be expected to engage emotions. Reduced affect display exists on a spectrum ranging from somewhat mild to completely blunted and can stem from a variety of neuroatypical or mental health conditions like:
Depression
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Depersonalization derealization disorder
Schizophrenia or schizoid personality disorder
Substance use disorder
Eating disorders
Autism
Brain injury
Side effects of certain medications (e.g., antidepressants, antipsychotics)
Is it bad to be emotionally reactive?
It isn't "bad" to express emotions in any frequency or intensity. However, when unchecked, emotional reactivity can create conflict in one's life, leading to chronic stress, mental health issues, and even issues with one’s physical health.
Why do I cry so easily?
Some people cry easily because they have an empathic or sensitive personality or their body is experiencing hormonal fluctuations. Others cry easily because they become overwhelmed in stressful situations or are having difficulty coping with loss or grief from the past. Sometimes, side effects from medication or medical conditions can cause one to cry easily. Crying easily is also a symptom of certain psychological conditions.
What is the opposite of emotional reactivity?
Emotional regulation is the counterpart of emotional dysregulation or reactivity. Strong emotional regulation skills, particularly the ability to regulate negative emotions, are associated with healthy coping and reduced stress. They're also linked to greater relationship satisfaction, largely because emotional regulation is often linked to secure attachment styles, which result in healthier communication, better conflict resolution, and greater partner support.
What is the theory of emotional reactivity?
Emotional reactivity has been defined as “the intensity and duration of an emotional response to a variety of stimuli," particularly in conditions perceived as emotionally charged, stressful, or threatening. Several emotional reactivity theories attempt to explain how people experience, respond to, and regulate emotions. Researchers posit an individual’s levels of emotional reactivity are based on a few factors:
Neurological
Studies show that emotional reactivity has a biological foundation associated with the brain’s limbic system, particularly the amygdala. The amygdala is a portion of the brain responsible for quickly assessing potential threats and triggering automatic emotional responses like fear, anger, or excitement. These reactions occur faster than conscious thought and are essential for survival.
Genetics and temperament
Genetics largely determines an individual’s temperament. Temperament influences emotional reactivity; some individuals naturally show stronger, more prolonged emotional reactions. High emotional reactivity (when an individual experiences intense emotions quickly and has difficulty calming down) is often associated with traits like neuroticism, which has also been widely linked with genetics.
Childhood development
A person's age can significantly influence their ability to regulate emotions. The prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for interpreting and regulating reactions when exposed to potential threats) isn't fully developed in adolescents and children. As this part of the brain matures, people typically learn to regulate intense emotions and respond to stimuli more adaptively.
Life experiences
Life experiences, including childhood maltreatment, trauma, and stress, can shape emotional reactivity. Research suggests a relationship between PTSD, childhood trauma, and emotional dysregulation. People who have experienced trauma resulting in PTSD can become emotionally hyper-reactive, particularly to stimuli that remind them of past threats.
Mental health conditions
In addition to PTSD, emotional reactivity has been linked to anxiety, depression, psychosis, borderline personality disorder, and bipolar disorder. Individuals with such conditions may have impulsive tendencies or experience heightened emotional responses to everyday stimuli.
How does emotional reactivity cause conflict?
Emotional reactivity often causes conflict and can negatively impact all types of relationships in several ways. When people react impulsively to emotions, they might respond without consideration for the consequences or the other person’s perspective. This lack of empathy can make it difficult to resolve the issue because one or both parties feel unheard or invalidated. It can also cause a defensive reaction from the other party, creating a cycle of conflict in which each feels attacked and responds in kind.
The intensity of unregulated anger or frustration often escalates conflict, making it harder to resolve calmly. When emotions run high, people might also have difficulty articulating their thoughts clearly, leading to misunderstandings or misinterpretations that cause further disagreements. Finally, emotional reactivity can lead to impulsive behaviors, such as saying hurtful things or making rash decisions, which can harm relationships and deepen the conflict.
What is a person's characteristic emotional reactivity?
A person’s characteristic emotional reactivity is referred to as their temperament. Research on childhood development indicates that temperament begins to develop within the first few months of life; however, it is malleable and might change over time.
How do you identify emotional stability?
People with emotional stability often present behaviors consistent with their ability to handle emotionally charged situations. For example, people with high levels of emotional stability might be good at communicating, drawing healthy boundaries, or apologizing for their mistakes. Emotionally stable people can usually (although not always) control negative feelings such as anger, sadness, and fear. They might also have greater confidence, self-awareness, and overall well-being.
What is the mood reactivity scale?
Also referred to as the emotion reactivity scale, the mood reactivity scale assesses how sensitive or reactive an individual's mood is to external or internal stimuli. It's typically used in psychological assessments but might also be used as a hiring or educational tool. The evaluation normally includes a self-report questionnaire in which individuals are asked to rate how much their mood changes in response to specific conditions, such as after a compliment, during an argument, or when faced with a stressful situation. When screening for mental health conditions, a therapist or clinician might also assess mood reactivity through interviews, asking about emotional responses to recent life events or triggers.
How do you stop reacting to emotional triggers?
It may require time and patience, but stopping or reducing emotional reactivity to stressors is possible. Here are a few strategies aimed at reducing emotional reactivity and increasing emotional awareness and self-regulation:
Learn to recognize the source
Pay attention to the situations, people, or events that typically invoke strong emotional reactions. Consider how these might be tied to deeper feelings like insecurity, fear, or past trauma. Keeping a journal can help you track recurring sources of reactivity and the emotions they cause.
Practice mindfulness and emotional regulation
Mindfulness helps you stay grounded in the present moment and observe your emotions without judgment. When you become aware of your feelings, you can more easily choose how to respond rather than react impulsively. Deep breathing is a practical, rapid way to calm the nervous system. When you notice yourself reacting, take slow, deep breaths. This helps interrupt the fight-or-flight response and gives you time to think before responding. Regular stress-reducing activities like yoga, meditation, or physical exercise can also help you stay emotionally balanced and become less reactive over time.
Create a delay
Try to find a way to pause before responding. Mindful breathing or counting to ten may help, but you might also excuse yourself and spend a minute alone outside or in the restroom. When you mentally remove yourself from the moment, ask yourself, "Will this matter tomorrow?” or “What would a calm response look like?” This helps shift your perspective and defuse the immediate emotional charge.
Reframe the situation and challenge negative thoughts
Consider the situation from a different angle. For example, if someone is rude, instead of thinking, “They’re attacking me,” consider, “Maybe they’re having a bad day,” which can soften your response. Such negative thoughts often drive emotional reactivity. Practice recognizing and challenging them to establish more balanced and rational responses.
Label your emotions
When something causes a strong emotional reaction, mentally naming the emotion can help you distance yourself from it and reduce its intensity. For example, instead of thinking, "I'm so angry," try, "I feel angry right now." Labeling your emotions can also help you recognize patterns in how certain situations make you feel, allowing you to anticipate and prepare for your reactions.
Set boundaries and communicate
If certain people or situations consistently provoke negative emotions, consider setting clear boundaries that protect your emotional space. Sometimes, emotional reactivity is reduced by limiting exposure to situations that provoke strong responses. Effective, de-escalating communication can play a significant role in setting boundaries. Try using “I” statements (e.g., "I feel upset when...") instead of blaming others. This helps to reduce tension and create a more productive conversation.
Be kind to yourself and seek support
Most people have things in their everyday life that provoke strong emotions. Instead of criticizing yourself when you react, practice self-compassion by acknowledging that you’re working on improving. Emotional dysregulation can cause people to say and do hurtful things they feel shame and guilt over later. If emotional reactivity is causing mental distress, a therapist can help you work through the underlying causes. Find a therapist who often works with clients with emotional regulation issues and is experienced in effective emotion-regulation therapies. For example, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) are both evidence-based treatment options offered through traditional and online therapy platforms.
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