Sexual Orientation Test: Can Measuring Sexual Orientation Help You Explore Your Identity?
Sexuality is a deeply personal and sometimes fluid aspect of human identity. Often, understanding one’s sexual orientation can be an empowering and enlightening experience. However, this journey isn’t always straightforward. Questions about attraction, identity, and labels often arise, and others might not always be accepting or tolerant of one’s identity.
While exploring identity is a personal process influenced by a wide range of internal and external factors, a sexuality test can serve as a learning tool for some. Below, explore sexual orientation tests and how they might offer insight to individuals on a journey of self-discovery or people seeking community and support.
What is sexual orientation?
Are sexual orientation and sexual attraction the same?
While sexual orientation and sexual attraction are related, they are not interchangeable. Sexual attraction typically refers to the immediate feelings of desire or interest toward a particular person, whereas sexual orientation is a broader, more enduring pattern of those attractions over time.
For instance, someone might experience sexual attraction toward multiple genders but primarily form romantic connections with one. Similarly, a person may identify as bisexual based on past experiences but lean toward one gender more than another. The subtle yet significant distinction allows for fluidity and self-discovery beyond just a label.
Sexual orientation vs. gender
Sexual orientation and sexual attraction are somewhat similar concepts. However, gender identity is a largely independent aspect of one’s personality. Gender identity refers to an individual’s internal understanding of themselves as male, female, non-binary, or another identity, while sexual orientation refers to who they are attracted to.
Gender and sex are not the same. Gender is an internal knowingness of who someone is and what they want their body to look like, whereas sex refers to the chromosomes and biological anatomy you’re born with. Some people aren’t born with the “typical” sex-related chromosomes or anatomy. These people may identify as intersex. Others might not have a gender that aligns with their biological sex. In this case, they may identify as transgender.
A common misconception is that gender identity dictates attraction, but this isn’t the case. A transgender person, for example, may be straight, gay, bisexual, or anywhere else on the spectrum of sexuality. Understanding these differences can play a vital role in fostering acceptance and allowing for more open conversations about orientation, sexuality, and gender identity.
Should I take a sexual orientation test?
Though understanding personal attraction and identity often involves more than just a test result, a sexuality test may serve as a helpful tool for self-reflection and exploration.
Sexual orientation test types
Several tools are designed to help individuals explore their sexual orientation. Examples include the Kinsey scale or Klein sexual orientation grid, explored below.
Kinsey scale test
The Kinsey scale is one of the earliest and most well-known attempts at measuring sexual orientation. Developed by Alfred Kinsey, it places individuals on a scale from zero (exclusively heterosexual) to six (exclusively gay), acknowledging that many people fall somewhere in between. However, while this scale offers a broad overview, it doesn’t account for factors like emotional attraction or the fluid nature of sexuality for some people. This scale may be helpful for those who believe their sexuality is solid and stable instead of fluid.
Klein sexual orientation grid
The Klein sexual orientation grid expands upon the Kinsey scale by incorporating past, present, and ideal future attractions. This scale measures multiple factors, including emotional, social, and sexual attraction, making it a more comprehensive learning tool. However, the scale still serves as a guide rather than a definitive measure of identity.
Other sexuality and sexual attraction measuring tools
Beyond the Klein grid and Kinsey scale, other tests attempt to categorize sexual orientation, such as self-report questionnaires or online quizzes. While these quizzes can be fun and insightful, they do not replace personal introspection or conversations with supportive communities or professionals.
Can a sexual orientation test help me explore my sexuality?
While tests can provide insight, they are often only one piece of the puzzle. True exploration may involve openness, conversations, and personal experiences. A sexuality test can spark curiosity or offer more guidelines, but genuine understanding often comes from ongoing self-reflection and discovery.
Exploring gender identity
For those questioning their gender identity or sexual orientation, self-exploration may take time. Gender and attraction can influence one another but do not determine each other. Engaging with supportive communities, trustworthy loved ones, or compassionate therapists can offer additional clarity, encouragement, and reassurance throughout this journey.
The importance of acceptance and awareness
Whether someone identifies as gay, bisexual, or otherwise, being validated and supported often serves as a key factor for self-acceptance, and while society’s understanding of sexuality has grown over time, challenges remain. People may become more comfortable in their identities by fostering open conversations and embracing fluidity.
Acceptance and compassion often play a significant role in reducing stigma and discrimination on a broad scale. Ensuring equal rights and respect for all sexual orientations and genders can foster a culture of understanding and empathy, making communities safer and more welcoming for everyone. Ultimately, acceptance isn’t just about supporting individuals; it’s about creating a healthier, more compassionate world where diversity is celebrated.
How therapy can help
For those facing questions about sexual orientation or gender identity, therapy can be a valuable resource. Speaking with a professional who understands the nuances of sexuality can help you explore your thoughts, feelings, and unique needs in a judgment-free environment, allowing you to gain a better understanding of yourself and your sexual orientation.
Online therapy for identity support
In recent years, online therapy has become a helpful resource for people seeking support and guidance. Studies show that online therapy sessions can be as effective as in-person therapy, particularly when treating conditions like depression and anxiety, and can be an affordable option.
For people questioning their sexuality, identity, or orientation, online therapy platforms like BetterHelp can offer access to a wider range of therapists. This accessibility makes connecting with LBGTQ-friendly providers and informed, compassionate mental health professionals easier. In addition, you can access LGBT-affirming support groups online through these platforms, which are included in your subscription.
Takeaway
How do I know my sexual orientation?
Knowing who you’re sexually attracted to can be challenging, especially if you’ve grown up with specific messages about who you’re “expected” to want for an ideal partner. For example, women who are attracted to other women are often socialized from a young age to want male attention due to being female, and they may struggle to realize they’re lesbians due to how lesbians are treated in modern society.
When exploring your sexuality, ask yourself the following questions, and consider journaling about them or reflecting on them with someone you trust, like a therapist or close friend:
- When I was a child, did I constantly get crushes on or experience extreme closeness with a best friend of the same gender that seemed more intense for me than it was for them?
- Have I ever tried to force myself to like the “opposite gender” to fit in, such as choosing a celebrity to have a crush on or choosing a partner for myself that fit the most of a long list of criteria?
- When having sex with someone of the opposite sex, do I ever ask myself if I might be asexual because of a lack of attraction to them?
- Do I struggle to have relationships with others? Why?
- When people bring up topics surrounding the LGBTQ+ community, do you feel defensive, angry, or highly interested in the topics? What do you think your response to these topics might say about you?
- Are you afraid to be perceived differently if you come out?
- Are you afraid of losing people if you are honest about your identity?
- Are you lying to yourself about any aspects of your identity?
- Are you unhappy in your relationships?
- When you meet people you connect well with, regardless of gender, do you find that you are attracted to them regardless of who they are?
- Do you hold any prejudices or biases that might block you from exploring human sexuality in the way you want to?
- What behaviors regarding sexuality and gender do you hope to avoid?
How do you answer the question, “What is your sexual orientation?”
If someone asks you your sexual orientation, you don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to. If you identify as homosexual and have an attraction to the same sex, you can tell the person that you’re gay, queer, lesbian, or any other label that fits you. If you’re bisexual, you can also let them know. If you don’t want to talk about your sexuality or find it would be unsafe to do so, you can lie about your identity or change the subject. If someone is persistent, let them know you’re not interested in talking to them about it.
Try to distance yourself from those with violent, toxic, or unhealthy behavior, even if you love them or they’re in your friend or family circles. If you are an LGBTQ+ youth under 25, you can also contact the Trevor Project hotline for support in any type of mental health or stability crisis. Contact The Trevor Project hotline by calling 1-866-488-7386 or texting “START” to 678 678. You can also use their online chat.
What is a straight sexual orientation?
Someone who is “straight” identifies as “heterosexual,” a term meaning “attracted only to a gender other than one’s own.” For example, a woman who is only attracted to men is straight. Straight people are generally considered the “norm” in society. However, more and more LGBTQ+ people are coming out as it becomes safer to do so, showing that more than 3% of people worldwide are gay (over 240 million), and more than 4% (over 342 million) identify as bisexual or another identity.
How many sexual orientations are there?
There is no definitive list of all sexual orientations. The most common orientations are as follows:
- Homosexual: Attracted to one’s own gender and some non-binary people (common identities within this category include gay and lesbian)
- Bisexual: Attracted to one’s own gender and other genders
- Pansexual: Attracted to all genders, regardless of appearance or sex
- Heterosexual: Attracted only to one’s own gender
- Asexual: Not sexually attracted to any gender (may be romantically attracted to people)
- Aromantic: Not romantically attracted to any gender (may be sexually attracted to people)
- Queer: A label for people who don’t connect fully with other labels but believe their sexuality falls outside of the “straight” label
- Questioning or bi-curious: People who are curious about exploring their sexuality but haven’t settled on a label or aren’t sure if they are not straight
Can sexual orientation change with age?
For some people, sexuality changes with time. These people might refer to their sexuality as fluid. For others, sexuality does not change and is stable. Insisting that all people have fluid experiences can be harmful because it can encourage the idea that gay people can be “changed” with time or effort. It is not possible to change a gay person or convert them to straight. However, if people realize they have a different identity over time, they are valid. Everyone’s journey with sexuality is unique and personal.
What does pansexual mean?
The general definition of pansexual is being attracted to anyone regardless of gender. People who are pansexual may connect more based on personality and behavior rather than appearance or the physical body someone has.
How do you talk to a therapist about sexual orientation?
When talking to a therapist about sexual orientation, let them know it’s a topic you’d like to explore and don’t know how to start. They can ask you open-ended questions to help the conversation start, such as “what is your experience with your identity throughout your life?” You can then start working through your experiences to understand yourself better. Your therapist won’t tell you who you are, but they can help you come to a conclusion.
How do I accept my bisexuality?
Accepting your sexuality can be a process of self-reflection, self-acceptance, and talking to people in your life who accept you. If you don’t have an accepting family or don’t want to come out, talking to a therapist is one way to come to terms with your sexuality. They can also help you find community and explore what your identity means to you.
Why am I confused about my sexual orientation?
In a world that often pressures people to be heterosexual and cisgender, finding out you don’t fit into that mold can seem isolating, especially if those around you aren’t accepting of the LGBTQ community. You may also be confused if you’ve frequently seen messages about what relationships look like that don’t fit what you desire. Talking to a therapist, journaling, and other self-reflection exercises may help you come to terms with your sexuality. It’s okay to look into your sexuality in more detail. You don’t have to be 100% certain. Live your life the way that feels best to you, and talk to people who are part of the LGBTQ+ community to learn more about how their coming-out journey went.
Is sexual orientation OCD a thing?
Sexual orientation-related OCD does occur for some people. These individuals may frequently obsess over their sexual orientation and identity, wondering if they are “secretly” gay or if they are wrong about their sexual identity. They may struggle to have sexual relationships with others and trust that their behavior doesn’t come off as “gay.” This type of OCD is not a form of homophobia but a form of a real mental illness that makes someone question their sexuality frequently.
- Previous Article
- Next Article