"Your Friend Is Not Your Therapist": Seeking Professional Help
Many people turn to friends and family when experiencing stress or looking for advice. However, when a family is experiencing conflict or distress, a friend may not know how to offer support. It can be important for your friendship to remember that your friend is not your therapist, and while they can offer support, they are generally not qualified to professionally assist you with your mental health. In these cases, visiting with a licensed professional counselor can allow families to receive personalized advice based on scientific research and current psychological theories. Although a friend can provide emotional support, they may not be able to offer the depth of support that a therapist can.
Family counseling: An introduction
Family therapy is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on the family unit and how that unit relate to one another and communicate. Often, sessions are carried out in a group or one-on-one and can involve discussions on family dynamics, communication, conflict, and stress.
A family therapist is a licensed counselor or psychologist that works with family using a form of family therapy to encourage positive results and goal setting. Although it can be comforting to have support from a friend, your friend may not be able to offer the same dedicated support. Family therapists have been trained in various techniques specific to families, children, and attachment dynamics.
What can a family therapist help us with?
Family therapists are trained to understand the complexities that families can experience and help them mediate conflicts. These professionals often address marital issues, communication, and childhood mental illness. A friend might understand and empathize with these issues, but a therapist can help you resolve them.
Types of counseling
Many family therapists have specific licensing, such as the licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) title. These providers often specialize in marital issues and family concerns simultaneously. A few common types of family therapy practiced by these providers can include:
- Structural family therapy
- Systemic family therapy
- Bowenian family therapy
- Narrative family therapy
- Cognitive-behavioral family therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical behavior therapy in a family group setting (DBT)
What are the goals of family therapy?
Goals for family therapy can vary per the individuals attending sessions. Many families seek support to strengthen the bonds between each other, overcome conflict, and improve communication. People might also attend therapy for the following reasons:
- The mental health diagnosis of a child
- Bullying at a child's school
- Adverse experiences that happened to the unit as a whole
- Divorce or separation
- Uncertainty about a significant life decision
- Adoption or fostering
- Infertility
- Infidelity
- Communication challenges
- Frequent arguing or disagreements
- Substance use challenges
If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.
Benefits of family counseling
Family therapists remain unbiased and mediate conflict between everyone present during a session. Instead of a regular family discussion, the therapist can interject and offer insight during conversations while teaching families unique coping skills.
In addition, challenges can be addressed over several sessions instead of all at once. Leaving the conflicts at the door can help families remember they have a dedicated time and place to discuss challenges. You can make a pact to make changes and learn as a team.
Unlike talking to a friend, family therapy offers mediation and professional guidance. Although friends can tell you if they think a situation isn't serving you, they may not mediate in the way that a therapist can.
What should we expect in therapy?
Your family therapist can create an unbiased environment where everyone is equal. The techniques learned are to benefit everyone and to target the goals you set up in your first few sessions.
Often, families will be taught how to make compromises and work together to make the relationship function for their unique dynamic. If your family isn't functioning well, family therapists can help you understand why. Every person in the family is the client, and each client can benefit from sessions.
If you want to know more about your therapist's methods, reach out to them and ask questions.
Counseling options
No matter your goals for counseling, there are various options available. Family therapists can be found using an online search, through a therapist network, or by asking your doctor for a referral. Many family therapists accept insurance. However, others may not, so check with your provider before attending sessions.
You might benefit from online counseling if you do not have insurance coverage and are looking for couples or individual therapy. Through a platform like BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples, you can receive personalized advice from a therapist that matches your needs.
In addition, research has found that internet-based therapy has been as effective or more than in-person therapy for supporting clients experiencing chronic stress or mental illness due to family dynamics.
Takeaway
What is the difference between a family therapist and a psychologist?
The primary difference between a family therapist and a psychologist is rooted in focus and level of care. A family therapist typically works holistically with the family as a comprehensive system or unit. In contrast, family psychology typically focuses on individual members and their roles within the family dynamic as well as working with the family as a whole.
Additionally, education and training requirements differ between the two. Licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFT) must have a master’s or doctoral degree in marriage and family therapy (or a related field) and complete a set number of hours of training and experience, depending on their state’s requirements. Psychologists must earn a doctoral degree in psychology associated with their field of study and a set number of supervised experience and training hours to meet their state’s requirements as well. However, these may be more in-depth than for those earning their LMFT licensure.
How does family therapy differ from individual counseling?
Family therapy focuses on the entire family unit and how they interact as a whole, while individual counseling addresses issues at the individual level.
When should I seek a psychologist?
Ultimately, if you’re experiencing emotional or mental health issues that affect your daily functioning, relationships, or overall well-being, you may benefit from seeking support from a psychologist. Some examples of typical concerns for which people may see a psychologist include:
- Grief and loss: Although people cope with the loss of a loved one differently, it can be overwhelming and create prolonged struggles too overwhelming for an individual to handle on their own. A psychologist can provide grief counseling and support to help people having significant challenges in processing grief.
- Mental health concerns: Individuals experiencing symptoms of a mental health disorder like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, or PTSD should speak to a psychologist or other mental health professional who can provide a proper diagnosis and an effective treatment plan.
- Stress and burnout: Individuals feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or burnt out from work, school, or other life pressures can learn stress management techniques and coping strategies from a psychologist.
- Relationship and family issues: Families and individuals may seek assistance from a mental health professional in cultivating better communication and conflict resolution skills to form healthier relationships.
- Achieve goals and improve performance: Some people seek guidance from a psychologist when coping with challenges in achievement-related areas of life, such as competing in a sport or business performance.
Should I see a psychologist or psychotherapist?
Whether you choose to see a psychologist or psychotherapist depends on personal preference and your overall needs. A psychotherapist refers to a mental health practitioner qualified to provide psychotherapy (also sometimes called talk therapy). This may include some types of psychologists, such as clinical and counseling psychologists, as well as licensed therapists who do not have the same clinical training or education as licensed psychologists.
What can psychologists do that therapists cannot?
Fundamentally, all clinical psychologists can be therapists, but not all therapists are psychologists. There are other key differences in the scope and breadth of what each mental health professional does:
- Clinical psychologists are trained to administer and interpret psychological assessments like personality tests, intelligence tests, and diagnostic evaluations for mental health disorders. Not all therapists have the training and experience required to deliver and interpret test results without collaboration with a psychologist.
- All psychologists are trained to diagnose mental health disorders based on assessment results and the criteria outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). While most therapists are able to diagnose mental health conditions, differences in state licensure requirements may present limitations.
- Psychologists may train and supervise other mental health professionals, such as therapists, counselors, and social workers. Some, but not all, therapists can provide supervision for graduate-level licensure requirements.
- Psychologists might have training in specific therapeutic approaches or populations, allowing them to provide more specialized, targeted treatment to clients with special needs. Therapists tend to provide treatment for a broader range of clients without specific needs.
Are there different types of family therapy?
There are several types of family therapy, each with its own individual theoretical framework and approach. They may vary depending on techniques, goals, length, and frequency of sessions. Some of the most common include:
Structural family therapy
This approach focuses on the family structure and how members interact with one another. The therapist helps families identify dysfunctional patterns of communication and behaviors so they may restructure them and create a healthier family dynamic tailored to their unique circumstances.
Strategic family therapy
This short-term approach focuses on identifying and changing specific problematic behaviors within the family system. It is often used to help families with children having behavioral troubles. In this type of treatment, the therapist typically gives directives and assigns tasks that help families change unhealthy or unproductive behavior patterns.
Systemic family therapy
This approach is based on systems theory, which posits that an individual’s life choices, behavior patterns, and personal relationships heavily influence how they cope with everyday issues. From the perspective of family therapy, the family is a complex system in which each member’s emotions and behaviors are interconnected. Understanding these interconnections is critical to making positive change that influences overall family functioning.
Functional family therapy (FFT)
This type of therapy is most often used in helping families with children struggling with behavioral issues. It’s focused on isolating the family dynamics contributing to the child’s behavior, improving parenting skills, cultivating family communication, and positive reinforcement for healthy behaviors.
Which is more effective, individual therapy or family therapy?
Individual and family therapy typically have different goals and focus, so which is more effective will likely depend on your specific needs. Family therapy strategies might be more appropriate in some cases, while others might require more intensive individual focus. Some types of therapy may involve a combination of the two. For example, some types of family therapy may address particular issues within the context of challenges faced by the unit as a whole. For people with mental health issues like substance abuse, certain personality disorders, or schizophrenia, individual therapy may be more effective when supplemented by family therapy.
Is group therapy the same as family therapy?
Group therapy and family therapy aren’t typically considered the same. The primary difference is that family therapy involves participation between family members, while group therapy includes meeting with strangers in a therapeutic setting.
How long should you stay with the same therapist?
How long you should stay with your therapist depends on your individual needs, goals, and progress in therapy. Here are some questions to consider when deciding how long you should stay with your therapist:
For what are you in treatment?
Some mental disorders require more intensive treatment than others, and severe disorders like schizophrenia or borderline personality disorder often require lifelong treatment for successful management.
How much progress have you made?
If you are making progress and seeing positive changes in your mental health, it may be beneficial to continue working with the same therapist. The consistency and continuity of treatment can help you build on the progress you’ve already made.
What is your therapeutic relationship like?
If you have a healthy connection and trust your therapist, it may be beneficial to continue working with them. If not, it may be time to consider finding a new one.
Have you achieved your treatment goals?
If you have established specific goals you want to work on with your therapist, it might be helpful to continue working with them until you have made progress toward these goals.
Do you think you may need a fresh perspective?
Sometimes, working with a new therapist to gain a fresh perspective on your experiences and challenges can be beneficial. A different therapist might be able to offer new approaches and insights that can help you continue to grow and make positive changes.
Is it unethical for a therapist to treat a family member?
According to guidelines set by the American Psychological Association (APA), treating a client with whom you have a dual relationship, such as a family member, is considered unethical.
- Previous Article
- Next Article