A Guide To Your First Therapy Session: What To Expect
A first therapy session can be exciting yet daunting. Clients may be eager to get help from a mental health professional yet not know what to expect from the first session. Some people might not know what to say or how to express what they are experiencing. Below, explore what to expect from your first therapy session, how to prepare for the first session, and strategies to ease anxiety related to starting therapy.
What do you talk about in your first session?
Therapists often seek to get to know the client during the first therapy session. They may ask about their background, career, family, and hobbies. As part of the intake process, they may also ask if a person has a family history of mental illness. At some point, the therapist may ask why the person is seeking therapy. Clients can feel free to discuss as much or as little as they want at this time. They can also ask therapists any questions that arise about their practice and the therapeutic process.
How to prepare for your first therapy session
Therapists often don’t require much preparation by clients prior to the first session. However, given that the first appointment typically involves intake, you might try to prepare to answer questions about personal or family history related to mental health. Also, if you take any medications for mental health conditions or medications that affect mental health, you might write them down or take a picture of them prior to your first appointment.
Given that the first session also allows you to ask questions of your therapist, you might consider writing down questions you’re curious about. For example, you might ask about your therapist’s credentials, what they studied, how long therapy takes, and how they believe they can help you meet your therapy goals.
Is it normal to cry during your first therapy session?
Much of the first session tends to involve the intake process. For this reason, there may be less time for extensive discussion of mental health challenges or relationship difficulties. However, if you do cry, know that this response is perfectly normal, and therapists often keep tissues on hand to support their clients. They are often accustomed to observing strong emotional reactions as clients discuss the challenges that brought them to therapy.
How to ease anxiety before your first therapy session
If you’re feeling anxious prior to your first session, you might consider a few strategies that may ease your nerves, such as the following:
- Write down any questions about therapy and take them to your first appointment.
- Read success stories about your therapists’ previous clients, if available.
- If you have a friend who has been to therapy, ask if you can talk to them about the therapeutic process.
- Remember that therapists typically receive therapy themselves as part of their training during graduate school or to support them in daily life.
What to do after your first session
After your first session, you may note how you felt during the session. You’re also allowed to take notes during the session, so you might do so if it makes you feel comfortable. Writing may give you something to do with your hands during the session if it would ease your nerves.
Whether you take notes during or after the session, you might go over them once or twice. If you know that you want to continue with the same therapist, you can write down any further questions you have based on your first session. If you know that you’d like to try another therapist, know that this is perfectly normal. Many people change therapists at some point. You can send your therapist a message via email or any other means of contact they provided. Most therapists are used to having clients switch therapists, as choosing the right therapist is a personal decision.
How to find a therapist
You might find a local therapist by using an online directory. Some therapists might offer you a free initial call so that you can ask questions and get to know them. If you can’t find a therapist in your community, you might consider online therapy.
Online mental health care
Online therapy platforms typically have a large network of therapists. For example, platforms like BetterHelp offer a network of more than 30,000 licensed mental health professionals. Because of the options, finding a therapist you’re comfortable with may be easier, as you can be matched with a therapist with experience in your specific areas of concern. You can also decide whether to attend therapy by audio, videoconferencing, or live chat, and the online method may be more affordable.
Online talk therapy has also been shown to be effective for several mental health conditions. One systemic review and meta-analysis from 2017 examined the effectiveness of internet-based cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), an evidence-based practice. They found that it was effective for generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, depression, phobias, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
Takeaway
Experiencing nervousness before beginning therapy for the first time can be a normal reaction to opening up to someone about personal challenges. You may prepare for the first session by writing down any questions you have for the therapist. Doing so may help you feel less nervous as you ease into the therapy process. If you haven’t found a therapist yet, you might consider online therapy.
Frequently asked questions
Below are frequently asked questions about starting therapy for the first time.
What if you don’t have a good first therapy session?
If you don’t have a good first session—whether in individual or family therapy—it’s okay to change therapists. Changing therapists tends to be a common experience, and therapists typically understand that clients will want to keep searching until they find a particular therapist they are comfortable with.
What should you do after you find a therapist?
After you find a therapist, you might prepare for your first session by writing down any questions you have about their experience treating certain mental health conditions. You might also consider talking to any friends who have been to therapy. This may make attending therapy for the first time less stressful.
Can you get a mental health disorder diagnosed during the first therapy session?
Often, the first therapy session involves the intake process and time for the therapist and client to ask each other questions. However, the therapist typically asks clients about their reasons for attending therapy. This may provide an opportunity for the therapist to assess symptoms, but there may not be enough time for the therapist to get a full picture of a person’s symptoms in order to provide a diagnosis. This may vary greatly depending on each case.
How can I calm my anxiety prior to the first therapy session?
You may find it helpful to research your therapist more before your first therapy session. Updated information, such as client reviews, areas of clinical interest, and conferences attended, may give you a better idea of your therapist’s practice. You might find some of this information on your therapist’s professional website or a public profile they created for clients.
What do therapists do after a session?
Many therapists take notes during and after the first session. The first session may involve more note-taking, given that it involves the intake process. Therapists might write down any topics discussed and emotions experienced after the first and subsequent sessions.
Is the first therapy session the hardest?
Whether it takes place in a therapist's office or online, the first therapy appointment can be challenging for some people. It can feel intimidating to share your thoughts and feelings with someone you don't know, and uncertainty about how the session will go or what your provider will say may cause feelings of anxiety. It can be a brave step towards healing and improved mental well-being to push through this nervousness and attend your first appointment.
How long will my first therapy session last?
How long your first counseling session or therapy appointment will last depends on a few factors. If it's an initial consultation rather than an official appointment, it may be only 10–15 minutes—just long enough for you to ask a few questions and get a sense of your provider to see if it might be a good match.
If your first counseling session will be a full appointment, it may last anywhere from 30 to 90 minutes, depending on your provider's practices. How many sessions a person may need will also depend on many factors, Including client goals and how clients pay for care. You might ask your therapist for their estimation.
What is the first goal of therapy?
The first goal of a therapy appointment is typically to make the client feel comfortable enough to openly share their feelings. Other goals of therapy can depend on the client’s personal challenges and desires. For example, some people see a new therapist to work through past trauma at their own pace, while others find therapy incredibly helpful for strengthening interpersonal relationships like those with friends or a family member.
What are the 5 things that might happen during a therapy session?
What happens during a therapy session depends on many factors, including the individual, the challenges they're facing, their goals for therapy, the provider, and the therapy types being used. In general, however, most sessions will involve:
- The client sharing how they feel
- Therapist questions that help the client dig deeper
- A focus on client consent and comfort
- Work toward the client's goals
- A discussion of when the next session will take place and what it will involve
How to talk to a therapist for the first time?
Many people feel nervous or uncertain in the waiting room before their first therapy appointment. Once you begin the session, however, most therapists will make an effort to help you feel more comfortable. Speaking to them openly and honestly is usually the most useful approach for better mental health outcomes. If you have questions along the way about how to engage, remember that it's your provider’s job to answer them and help you feel confident in the process.
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