Coping With Compulsive Spending Habits: Therapy For Buying Disorder

For some people, shopping can bring a sense of satisfaction and excitement. As a result, it’s possible to use shopping as a source of stress relief or dopamine release when feeling down or stressed. This behavior may lead to unhealthy shopping habits, such as compulsive shopping. It can then become difficult for you to cope with difficult emotions without this habit, and it can cause financial difficulties such as overspending, debt, and an inability to cover one’s core expenses like rent and bills. Further stress and even anxiety and depression could result.

Are shopping therapy and compulsive buying disorders real?

"Shopping therapy" or "retail therapy" are slang terms some people may use to describe the positive feelings they get following a shopping trip. However, licensed therapists may discourage the use of these terms, since they’re not approved forms of mental health therapy, but rather a form of coping mechanism. On the other hand, compulsive buying disorder is a serious mental illness that causes an uncontrollable urge to make impulsive purchases, leading to excessive spending and debt.

How therapists help with buying disorder

Therapists are trained to help people deal with mental health disorders, unhealthy behaviors, and life issues—and compulsively shopping is one of the many habits that a licensed therapist may support you with. Often, compulsive spending is a symptom of a problem rather than the root itself. However, there is an official condition called compulsive buying disorder, also known as compulsive shopping disorder. A therapist may work with you to determine what is going on in your life that’s leading you to engage in compulsive shopping. For example, a person could turn to a coping mechanism like this due to mental health challenges including but not limited to:

• Low self-esteem
• Impulse control disorders
• Past trauma
• Anxiety disorders
• Chronic stress
• Grief
• Depression
• Drug use or substance use disorder
• Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
• Some forms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and associated disorders
• Bipolar disorder (especially during manic episodes)
• Some eating disorders

How family history shapes compulsive shopping habits

Some may also fall into unhealthy shopping habits due to a family history of poor shopping habits; growing up around people who experience shopping addiction may make you more prone to that behavior yourself. A therapist can work with you to find healthier ways to manage your personal distress or other intense emotions that could be related to your shopping behaviors. They may provide you with "homework" or coping mechanisms that help control your urge to shop. You can use them outside the session to help you learn to control your habit, and they may spend time helping you unearth and address the root of the shopping disorder.

When compulsive spending elicits shopping therapy

The habit of compulsive shopping is easier than ever to fall into today, thanks to consumer culture and the ubiquity of online shopping, and the near-instant gratification of next-day delivery times. The availability of online shopping apps tempts people to purchase items, even if they’re not needed.  Others shop just to relieve stress. For some people, shopping can be like a drug, helping them avoid feeling anxiety, depression, and other negative emotions – only to lead to more of those emotions, and potentially mental illness, the more spending and shopping they engage in. Some even believe in the saying “shop until you drop”. 

The stress of world events and social isolation seem to have also upped the number of compulsive spenders; a 2022 study on the topic suggests that compulsive spending gradually increased during the first six months of the COVID-19 pandemic, supporting the idea that many spend money to cope with difficult emotions. 

Potential signs of shopping addiction or compulsive buying disorder

That said, spending money or even a significant amount of money does not always mean someone is addicted to shopping. There could be many reasons why people shop. Though this tendency alone and the fact that someone wants to shop all the time isn’t a diagnosable disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders orDSM-5, there are certain signs that could indicate a potentially problematic shopping addiction that might benefit from therapeutic attention, including:

• Shopping and spending excessively when you feel stressed, sad, anxious, or another negative emotion
• Frequently buying things you don’t need that negatively impact your bank account.
• Hiding your money and purchases from others
• Feeling out of control when shopping
• Feeling elated and then guilty after shopping
• Experiencing money problems and a low bank account as a result of excessive shopping
• Your shopping habits causing conflict in your relationships

Address shopping habits with a shopping therapist and guided therapy techniques

The key to shifting a tendency like compulsive shopping generally lies in addressing the root causes of the behavior, usually with the help of a therapist. You might also meet with a financial counselor to learn about better money management and to create a reasonable budget for yourself. You can try meetings like Debtors Anon to help find support and community as you work through the issue. Finally, you might put some of the practical strategies below into place as well.

It is worth noting that you don’t have to stop shopping cold turkey. A therapist can help you understand why you purchase excessively and create healthier habits. Counselors may address your triggers so you can learn to shop mindfully and shop within a budget. As a result, you will learn to buy things for needs rather than impulses and pay off debts responsibly.

Replace the habit of ‘window shopping’

Online or in-person browsing or window shopping may lead to unplanned shopping for compulsive buyers. That’s why it can be effective to find other ways to spend your time if this is a habit or hobby of yours. Relying on willpower alone to help you avoid getting out your credit cards may not be the best way to set yourself up for success. Instead, changing your habits to take a walk, pick up a book, or call a friend when you feel the urge to browse items for sale or spend time shopping could help you avoid falling back into old patterns, especially at first.

Implement a 48-hour rule

Setting a 48-hour rule for yourself may be helpful when trying to change shopping habits too. Don’t buy things just because something you like is on sale or because you feel like you’re falling behind on the latest trends. When you feel the desire to go shopping, you might wait 48 hours before deciding whether to purchase it. Most people with shopping problems find that the urge to spend decreases as time passes, and this period could give you time to find out through consideration and reflection whether the purchase is healthy and necessary. Items that you forget about or decide against in this time likely were not crucial.

Shop with a list and a budget

If you’re a compulsive spender, putting parameters like a list and a budget in place can also help you keep your shopping under control. Since you’ll still regularly have to shop to purchase food and other necessities, it can be helpful to prepare yourself for these trips by making a list of specific items you need and your budget for purchasing them—and not deviating from it. This can help you still get what you need when you shop while avoiding impulse buys or overspending. Shopping with the support of a friend or someone from your family could also help you stay on track. So, bring someone along when you shop—someone who’s great at keeping you in check when you’re about to splurge at checkout.

Seeking shopping therapy for compulsive buying disorder

If you feel your shopping habit has reached a problematic or harmful level, it may be worth meeting with a mental health professional about it. Although there might not be a specific "shopping therapy," an individual therapist or leader of a support group may be able to help you address your behaviors through cognitive behavioral therapy and provide you with healthy coping skills to try. If your habits are the result of or exacerbated by a mental health condition or other addictions, they can also help you address and manage symptoms.

Meet with a shopping therapist online for a therapy session

Online therapy treatment in particular may feel like a more approachable format for those who find in-person therapy to be intimidating or inconvenient. With a platform like BetterHelp, you can meet with a therapist via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging using a personal device at home or anywhere you have an internet connection. Research suggests that online therapy treatment can represent “a viable alternative” to in-person therapy for treating a variety of mental health conditions and challenges, so you generally have the rights reserved and the freedom to choose whichever format you prefer.