A BetterHelp Employee On Self-Care: “Go To Therapy With Me!”

by Maria, BetterHelp employee, January 2024

For starters (and in the interest of openness), here’s a little bit about me. I’m a mom, supportive wife, devoted daughter, eldest sister of three, fierce friend, and trustworthy colleague. After an extended stint in California for school and work, I recently moved back to my hometown in Colorado to be closer to family. Career wise, I’ve always been drawn to making a difference. Truthfully, I was planning to become a teacher, but as fate would have it, I took a gamble and joined a small startup that transformed the consumer products industry into a force for human and environmental good. After 7 years, I moved on and joined BetterHelp to lead our lifecycle marketing strategy – which brings me to you. As 2024 starts and I begin another decade of life, I’m looking to find a renewed purpose in therapy.

I want to make this decade impactful. How can I bring my best version of myself to daily life so that I can do more for my community?

Why I decided to look for a mental health counselor and go to a therapy session

The last time I went to therapy was in high school. My parents were going through a tumultuous time in their lives and it trickled down to me. I was a really academically strong student and a not-good-but-dedicated cross-country runner, and I just stopped studying and stopped going to practice. My first kick in the pants was getting kicked off the cross country team. My mom thought therapy could help me get back on track a bit and just work through how I was feeling. Therapy was a safe space where I could feel validated and like what I was going through wasn’t the end of the world. My therapist also helped me build resilience and skills that even benefit me now.  

“Go to therapy with me!” for self-care and healing

This time around, I’m starting therapy for different reasons. First of all, I want to experience the product that I work everyday to put out into the world. But beyond that, 2023 was a hard year. I went through a lot of loss and am hanging onto some unresolved grief. More on that in our next newsletter, but suffice it to say that when they say loss hits you in threes, they’re right. And beyond that, being a mom is hard sometimes! And being a working mom has its own struggles. I’m still figuring out how to do it all. 

I should also mention – in full transparency – that as a BetterHelp employee, I can use the platform for free (it’s a great perk of working here).

Signing up for an appointment and searching for support

I started by signing up for BetterHelp and filling out the questionnaire. I took my time, and it took me 21 minutes from start-to-finish. There are A LOT of questions that you really have to think about, and I found myself hesitating on some of them because they were pretty personal and descriptive. Do I want to be known as someone who is having a hard time with grief or loss? Do I want to be known as a weekend drinker? Do I have good health or fair health – what’s the metric?  Etc.

It took me 48 hours to get matched with my therapist. I took the quiz on a Friday and got my match email on a Sunday. Then I booked the first session that I could! I’m ready to get started and see how this goes. 

To prep for my first session with my therapist, I found these resources for going to therapy super helpful:

• Scheduling Therapy In A Way That Works For You
• What To Expect During Your First Session
• How Many Sessions Do I Need

I also looked up my therapist, read reviews, and am looking forward to meeting her on camera for the first time very soon. 

Thank you for following along, and stay tuned to hear about my first session next month. 

With love and therapy,
Maria

by Maria, BetterHelp employee, February 2024

I met my first therapist a few weeks ago, and I figured out pretty quickly that it wasn’t the right fit. I was a little bit bummed to not get a match on my first go-around, but I was able to use BetterHelp’s “Switch Therapist” feature to find another one very quickly.

I went through the profiles and calendars of my new options and found one who looked like a better fit. I chose my new therapist because her main expertise was in grief, coaching, and coping with life change – all of which are my focus over the next few months.

I had my first 30-minute session yesterday, and we decided to meet for 45 minutes next time. While we didn’t have time for EVERYTHING in the first session, we still covered a lot:

What we covered in our first appointment:

• We got acquainted for a few minutes.
• I started to tell her about my 2023 experiences and why it was a hard year. 
• I talked her through some of the losses I’ve experienced over the last year – including losing my mother-in-law after her long battle with cancer, and losing my grandma to Lung Cancer in May. 
• Both of these women were huge role models in my life, and we talked about the unresolved grief I have over losing them. 
• My therapist asked me to reflect on the feelings I was experiencing, and then told me that our time together will be focused on “grief and balance.”
• She assigned me a journaling exercise, and we scheduled our next session for next Monday.

So that’s a little snapshot of my first experience with BetterHelp therapy. I’ll be back next month with more play-by-play.

Talk soon and take care of yourself <3,
Maria

by Maria, BetterHelp employee, March 2024

I’ve gotten a few appointments under my belt at this point and also canceled a couple of appointments. One day I double booked my daughter’s speech therapy appointment and my therapy appointment, and one day a work meeting came up that I had to adjust for. Working mom life, I guess! BetterHelp makes it really easy to adjust therapy to my schedule, which has made it much more doable.

Mental health sessions for healing and self-care

We’ve been working on a lot in our sessions – things as small as why I’m still not wearing my invisalign (seems silly, but it’s important!) to things as big as how to find time for self-care with all the other demands on my time from work, parenting, family, and friends. Can anyone out there relate? 

It is nice having someone who is holding me accountable to my own self-care and encouraging me to do more of it. Like “why didn’t you get on the treadmill last week? I know that’s a priority for you.” That’s probably why I got on the treadmill today.

I also learned a new mindset tool: if the task takes less than five minutes, just do it. Little things – like washing my face and brushing my teeth before sitting down for a show, or washing the dishes at the end of a meal – all of them are quick, easy, and make me feel much better.

My mother-in-law died a year ago this week, and I asked my therapist how I should support my husband on the anniversary. Her advice: “Follow his lead and no surprises.” I think that’s helpful feedback as we navigate this new normal – especially because what I view as a thoughtful gesture could backfire if I’m not careful. 

My therapist asked me how I was doing with this anniversary. I’m so focused on how my husband is doing that I sometimes forget to think about how I’m doing until I’m in a therapy session. I talked about my sadness around the fact that my mother-in-law doesn’t get to see my daughter grow up, or take her on her favorite walks, or come over for dinner, or just do the millions of little things that grandmas love to do. And I feel sad for my husband that he doesn’t get to see what their bond might have been. But mostly this week, I’m not going to worry about me – I’m going to focus on my husband and supporting him through a tough moment. 

A few other things on my mind this month… 

Earlier this month was National Working Moms Day, and I was so excited to see my friends and colleagues who are juggling it all get some recognition. Here are some ways to support the working moms in your life. 

This week also marks World Social Work Day, so I want to give a special shoutout to our amazing community of close to 14,000 licensed social workers who are therapists on BetterHelp. Thank you for devoting your careers to mental health – your impact resonates far and wide! Here’s a little bit more about how to celebrate the occasion.

I’ll be back next month with more highlights. 

Thanks for reading,

Maria 

by Maria, BetterHelp employee, April 2024

I’m back with another update on my therapy journey (and a big personal update as well!). Thanks as always for being a part of it.

We’re making progress

I had the realization that I like therapy because it’s one of the few times where I can really focus on myself, versus all the other things I have to think about for work, home, family, and life. I’m so “busy” that self-reflection is usually the last thing I want to do, but it actually helps ease my stress and figure out some ways to make life a little easier. 

If you’ve been following along on my BetterHelp therapy journey, I am not sure which news is bigger… 

First, I started invisalign! 

Building habits is really hard for me. I’m always so focused on what’s most urgent and important, and often the habits I want to build aren’t necessarily either. Like waking up at the same time every day or putting my retainers on at night. More so than any of the self-help books I’ve read, therapy has helped me with my habit-building because it actually holds me accountable. So I’m proud of my habit-building progress, and my teeth are looking straighter already!

Second, I’m pregnant! 

Trying to conceive was harder than we expected this time around. And I’m sending love and strength to anyone on that journey now – you're not alone.

17 weeks in and I forgot how tired being pregnant makes me. And this pregnancy has been harder than my first. The first trimester I woke up miserable. When I start the day feeling icky, it can be hard to show up for work and for my family the way that I need to. It’s been so helpful to have my therapist’s support, validation, and permission to not be perfect or do everything for everyone. 

Here are a few tips to encourage you to go to therapy with me:

1. Break large to-do’s into the smaller to-do’s. Those little milestones help you build momentum and keep making progress.

2. Set yourself up for success with a new habit. If you do a little bit of prep work (organizing a drawer, putting out your vitamins for the next morning, prepping your invisalign before bed), you’re much more likely to follow through.

And since we’re talking about habits, check out these articles from our team on changing your habits – and maintaining healthy ones:

Wondering How To Change Habits? Here Are Six Tips You May Not Know

How To Maintain Healthy Habits And Why It Matters For Mental Health

Until next time,

Maria

by Maria, BetterHelp employee, May 2024

Today, we want to highlight one of our very own BetterHelp therapists and share some recommended resources from our expert team. 

A Q&A With Carissa – A BetterHelp Therapist!

We spoke with BetterHelp therapist Carissa, who has been on the platform for a year and a half, about her experience as a mental health care provider. So let’s get into it:

What is your #1 piece of advice for someone thinking about starting therapy for depression or other mental health concerns?

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  If the first therapist you match with isn’t the right fit, think about what didn't work for you about your session(s). Then look for that necessary quality in another provider. Different therapists all have different styles – make sure you find a good fit for you and someone that you click with. 

What is the most common complaint you hear from clients, and how do you reply?

I hear from a lot of people who are experiencing anxiety or a major life transition. Others are trying to assess their marriage or partnership. They’re asking questions like: Is this relationship healthy for me? Is this what I want in the long-term? I help them reflect on what they want out of their relationship, and whether they feel they’re getting that (or can get that) with their current partner. 

Do you have a favorite piece of advice/knowledge that you share with your clients?

I like to use the analogy of filling up your “mental toolbox.” If all you have in your toolbox is a hammer then every problem looks like a nail.  In therapy, we do a lot of skill building to learn more mental tools and make sure people can use the right tool at the right moment.

What is your favorite part of your job?

Getting to know people. I’m an extrovert and a social person by nature. I like hearing people's stories and being let into their lives a little bit. I truly enjoy that part. 

What are you reading, listening to, and enjoying right now?

1. Book: Whole Again by Jackson Mackenzie 

2. Podcast: We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle

Anything else you’d like us to know?

There’s not enough talk about mental health workers as frontline workers. Mental Health Awareness Month isn't just about recognizing mental health needs, it’s also about recognizing and celebrating providers. 

Thank you to Carissa for taking the time to speak with us and share her thoughts! 

Before we go, here are a few resources from our team that you might find helpful during the last few days of this special month: 

1. Ways To Participate: Mental Health Awareness Month
2. Mental Health Awareness Month: Promoting Better Mental Health Care Within Communities
3. What Can I Do To Honor Mental Health Awareness Month?

With love and therapy,

Maria

by Maria, BetterHelp employee, June 2024

After a brief hiatus, I’m back to my regularly scheduled therapy sessions in June. I had to take a few weeks off because life happens. As the saying goes: Two steps forward and one step back!

This week, our session was very focused on boundaries – something I’ve really been struggling with lately. As an oldest daughter (which I am), I think this is a common challenge. My own daughter just turned two, I’m entering my third trimester, I’m working full time, and I’m the executor of my grandma’s estate – so I’ve got my hands full.

My therapist helped me understand a few things:

1. It’s impossible to set boundaries when you feel 100% responsible for other people’s feelings. 
2. I can’t control how other people feel. All I can do is deliver my message with kindness. 
3. If I can’t take on more responsibility right now, that’s okay. 
4. I can delegate responsibilities when other people are just as capable of doing the task. 
5. Boundaries help safeguard my bandwidth so I can spend at least a little time on myself and the routines that I need to prioritize. 

My homework is to find 5-10 minutes per day to be by myself (something I rarely make time for) and process my day – either by journaling or meditating.  We’ll see how this goes…

A few other things on my mind this month… 

Wishing everyone a Happy Pride Month! Here’s a brief history of Where LGBTQ Pride Month Came From And Why It Matters Today.

Kids are home for the summer, and that can be a lot to handle. Here are some tips for navigating that transition.

Just because it’s summer, doesn’t mean you’re happy. Here are some pointers on how to recognize summer depression and what you can do to manage it.

See you next month,

Maria

P.S. Did you know? We happily accept HSA/FSA cards and are recognized as an eligible expense by most providers. Check it out.