Common Therapy Questions Asked During A Session
The therapeutic process can seem a little bit mysterious for people who have never been to therapy and don’t have a firsthand source of information about it. During the first therapy session, the questions a therapist will typically ask depends largely on the treatment plan, whether it's individual therapy or group therapy, and the type of therapy the client will receive. Family history and future goals may also be discussed. Finally, each client is different; therefore, the therapy questions to ask in couples therapy, for example will likely be different between each client.
If you're contemplating seeking therapy but don't know what to expect, it would be helpful to learn about a few of the most common therapy questions. It's also helpful to understand the rudimentary points about what clinical psychology is and why people typically seek help in order to feel safe and supported.
What is therapy?
According to the APA, psychotherapy is “a collaborative treatment based on the therapeutic relationship between an individual and a psychologist.”
Psychotherapy is often also referred to as talk therapy and may include variations on its basic framework, including cognitive behavioral therapy, music therapy, expressive arts, play therapy, solution-focused/brief therapy, and more. While most therapists focus on individual treatment, there is also couple’s, group, and family therapy involving family members too. Since therapists understand that people in your life may have different needs, many pull different techniques from various theories and therapies. In general, though, psychotherapy has a focus on improving mental health.
CBT, in particular, is frequently used to treat a wide variety of mental health disorders and concerns. This type of therapy generally focuses on identifying and adjusting unhelpful or unhealthy thought patterns. Some of the most frequently asked questions in CBT may have to do with the thoughts you have and your emotional and behavioral responses to them.
Why do people seek therapy?
There are many reasons why people seek the help of a therapist. (This can be the reason behind one of the most common questions therapists ask: “What brings you here today?”) For those with long-term mental illnesses, therapy is a way to relieve symptoms and help the client cope with their illness. But it doesn’t have to only be about treating diagnosable disorders. Some may find it to be a useful tool for learning to cope with a traumatizing event (like the loss of a loved one). Some use it to learn how to change unhelpful behaviors or thought patterns to live a happier life or how to manage personality issues causing problems in day-to-day life. Others may utilize a therapy session to speak with someone as a sort of “mental checkup” or “maintenance.”
Therapy can be extremely helpful, and you may find that it increases self-confidence and helps you learn more about your personal relationships and feelings. Some common conditions and symptoms that sessions can help with include:
Stress and anxiety
Depression
Trauma
Physical chronic pain
Concerns about family or relationships
Personality and behavioral concerns
What questions will my therapist ask?
When attending your first appointment, you may be asked to fill out intake forms with responses about your medical and therapeutic history before you meet. Then, you'll sit down with your therapist and begin the process of getting to know each other during the initial meeting. Therapists understand that a person's perspective of their problems is one of the most important factors that determine how they'll progress. Your therapist may learn about your unique perspective by asking open-ended questions or follow up questions about your life feelings, and future goals.
Some common questions your therapist may ask include:
How is your focus at work or school?
Do you have a favorite animal or favorite dessert that brings you joy?
Do you have a preference on how we go about focusing on these issues?
How would you describe your childhood?
Are there any concerns you need to address with me before we start?
Open-ended queries such as these help a therapist find out more about your condition and your views on your life and family, so they will know how to approach your situation properly. Couples therapy questions may help therapists determine the underlying issues between partners and uncover unhelpful communication patterns.
Your therapist will likely take notes while discussing these open-ended questions with you. Their observations about your answers will help them to streamline your treatment. They’ll also probably reference your responses to therapy questions in future sessions to further your treatment and provide a good benchmark for your progress.
If you reach the end of your treatment and are no longer in need of regular sessions, the therapist will address this with you. This is a good, positive thing — it means you have likely accomplished your current goals. Sometimes this can feel like a miracle happened, but it's no such thing. It’s actually the result of the hard work and dedication you put into the therapeutic process, along with the support and guidance provided by your therapist. This accomplishment demonstrates your growth and progress in overcoming challenges and achieving a healthier mental state.
It does occasionally happen that a client doesn’t feel they have a connection with their therapist after the first session. If this is the case for you, you may think about working with a different professional, but first, be sure that you have spent adequate time with them before you decide. It often takes time to see results in therapy, and unless they say something inappropriate or make you feel uncomfortable, one session with them will not likely be enough to determine whether it will work. Remember that you can ask your therapist questions as well, and this can be an effective way to delve into your mental health goals and how different types of therapy may help you achieve them.
On the other side of the coin, there are times when a therapist does not feel like they are the best fit for the client or the client is not benefiting from their service. In these cases, the therapist has the right to terminate treatment. It may sound strange, but this is the responsible and ethical response on the part of the therapist if this is the case.
If this happens, the therapist will explain why this decision has been made, let the client express their feelings, and offer referrals to other therapists likely to be a better fit.
Online therapy
For some, the barriers to treatment don’t have anything to do with a reluctance to communicate honestly. People may face time limitations due to a busy schedule or availability challenges that make it difficult to commute to sessions. Perhaps they ride a car with a significant other and may not be able to line up session times with the time they have the care. Or they may feel uncomfortable seeing a therapist in person or encountering others in a clinical office setting.
In these cases, many people find that online therapy is the best solution. It allows the patient to attend sessions at their convenience from the comfort of home or anywhere with an internet connection. Some questions to ask a therapist can also be prepared beforehand. Patients can speak to the therapist via video chat, instant messaging, text, and phone. Group, couples, and family therapy is also available online.
Research shows that online therapy can be as effective as in-person treatment for helping conditions such as anxiety, depression, trauma, and more, including addressing negative thinking patterns. Many have found the psychological support they need in online therapy, and there are a variety of online platforms, such as BetterHelp, that connect people with mental health experts holding master's degrees or higher qualifications. Virtual therapy is safe, convenient, professional, and tailored to the patient to provide the best treatment program that meets each patient’s unique needs.
Takeaway
When choosing a therapist, the most important factor is that you feel comfortable confiding in them, and this aspect should be left unchanged. Therapy may take a few sessions, months, or years of talking- regardless of how long it takes, remember that you’re only likely to get out of it as much as you’re willing to put in. If you aren’t ready or willing to put in the effort, now may not be the time to seek therapy. If you are willing to sit through the discomfort and put in the effort, then therapy can be an extremely helpful tool for healing.
What is the first question a therapist asks?
Each therapist is unique and likely has their own approach to the first therapy session. However, common questions therapists ask during the first session might include the following:
- Why did you decide to come to therapy?
- What symptoms are you experiencing?
- What would you like to improve in your life?
- What are your goals in therapy?
- When did you start experiencing your symptoms?
- Have you ever seen a therapist before?
- Do you have a family history of mental health concerns?
Oftentimes, therapists focus on offering open-ended questions rather than close-ended questions to provide a more non-judgmental, open conversation where clients can guide the conversation and express their feelings freely.
How to ask better questions in therapy?
The best therapy questions are often open-ended, typically starting with words like “what” or “how.” For example, you might respond to a client talking about a negative interaction with their boss by asking, “How did that make you feel?” These types of questions are designed to elicit longer answers than “yes,” or “no,” and they can help clients practice more independent problem-solving skills.
What are 10 open-ended questions?
The types of questions used in therapy are often open-ended, meaning they encourage clients to reflect and respond more thoughtfully. 10 examples of open-ended therapeutic questions include the following:
- How does that make you feel?
- Why did you come to therapy?
- What signs do you notice when you’re feeling overwhelmed?
- How do you talk to yourself when you encounter a challenge?
- What are your goals and expectations from therapy?
- Why do you feel that way about your friend?
- Who makes decisions in your relationship?
- When do you experience those symptoms?
- Why did you choose your career path?
- How has your life changed since your recent move?
Therapist questions may vary based on the types of therapy they practice. For example, a therapist practicing cognitive behavioral therapy may ask different questions than a therapist trained in solution-focused brief therapy.
Why do therapists ask so many questions?
Therapists often ask open-ended questions as a tool to help provide a non-judgmental, curious space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Therapists tend to ask more questions early in the therapeutic relationship to learn more about their client and build rapport.
These questions can make therapy sessions more customized to each person’s unique needs and feelings, rather than providing a generic or inauthentic therapy experience. However, if you believe your therapist is asking too many questions, it may be a good idea to mention your concerns or look for a different provider.
What are three open-ended questions for mental health?
Whether you’re trying family therapy, solution focused brief therapy, or cognitive behavioral therapy, you can expect to encounter some open-ended questions intended to assess or help you reflect on your mental health. Three examples of these types of questions include the following:
- When do you notice your symptoms?
- Can you tell me more about how that made you feel?
- You said you’re concerned about your partner leaving you. Why do you think that is?
Should I tell my therapist everything?
In general, it’s a good idea to be honest and transparent with your therapist. Therapy is a safe, nonjudgemental space to explore things that you may be self-conscious, ashamed, or worried about.
However, if there’s something you’d rather not discuss in therapy or don’t feel ready to talk about something, it’s completely fine to say something like, “I’m not ready to discuss that yet.” By opening your dialogue with your therapist at a pace you’re comfortable with, you may find that you’re better able to trust that they respect your boundaries, and the therapeutic relationship can benefit from it.
Additionally, in some cases, information you share with a therapist may not be kept for legal or ethical reasons. For this reason, it’s a good idea to ensure you understand their exceptions.
What are therapist red flags?
Therapist red flags may include things like:
- Interrupting you while you’re speaking
- Talking about themselves too much
- Overstepping boundaries
- Making you feel uncomfortable
- Saying things that are judgmental or otherwise lacking empathy
- Not listening to you
- Sharing information
- Outdated, suspended, or revoked license
If your therapist is showing signs of unethical behavior, you may want to think about submitting an official complaint with the licensing board in your state. However, if your therapist is showing red flags that they’re just not the best fit for you, it’s still a good idea to look for a different therapist.
Can you overshare in therapy?
Many people worry about oversharing in therapy, to the point that it can interfere with the therapy process. Instead of worrying about oversharing, it’s a good idea to try and embrace vulnerability and let your guard down.
It’s possible to overshare some things in therapy, however. For example, extensive small talk can be unproductive for the therapeutic process, especially in short-term therapies like solution-focused brief therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy. And other topics, like asking your talk therapist for medical advice, are not appropriate because psychotherapists are not medical practitioners.
Why can't I look my therapist in the eye?
There are many reasons why you may find it difficult to look your therapist (or other people) in the eye. It may be because you feel embarrassed or self-conscious sharing vulnerable details, or you may be someone who has high sensitivity to visual stimuli. For some people with neurodivergence, for example, eye contact can induce anxiety or discomfort, and it’s perfectly acceptable to look elsewhere while you’re speaking.
If you’re open to it, you could also discuss your discomfort with eye contact with your therapist directly. They may be able to provide you with additional input.
Am I talking too much in therapy?
Many people find themselves thinking they're giving too much information in therapy, but that’s not the case. If you’re talking without many natural pauses, your therapist may interject and say something like, “Let’s pause here for a second and reflect on what you just said.” In general, it’s the therapist’s job to create a therapeutic environment, so clients don’t have to worry about saying the “right thing” or talking too much.
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