Overcoming Relationship Obstacles: What To Expect In Couples Therapy

Many couples may experience relationship obstacles at some point. Couples therapy can be a powerful tool to work through these challenges with the help of a trained professional. Whether it's communication breakdowns, disagreements over finances, or challenges around trust, having the guidance of a licensed therapist can help to enhance a relationship's health and happiness. Couples therapy, also known as relationship counseling or marriage counseling, offers a supportive space for partners to navigate these challenges and build a stronger bond. 

In this article, we will explore what to expect in couples therapy, how it can be beneficial, and when to consider seeking help. 

What can you expect in couples therapy?

In your first session 

The first couples therapy session is typically an intake appointment. The therapist may gather information about the couple's relationship history, the problems they are currently facing, and their goals for therapy. This is a chance for the couples therapist to understand the dynamics of the relationship and for the couple to understand the therapist's approach. 

In some cases, you may discuss what you view as a healthy relationship to ensure you are all on the same page. Sharing openly with your therapist and taking the time to get to know their approach can help to build a therapeutic alliance, which has been shown to improve the results of couples therapy. 

In later sessions

After the initial session, regular relationship therapy sessions will typically involve both partners, although there may be times when your therapist recommends individual sessions. In your therapy sessions, your therapist can help you and your partner identify specific relationship concerns, talk through potential causes and solutions, and work together to find ways to move forward.

Over the course of the first few sessions, couples may find themselves discussing topics that are often avoided or overlooked in their day-to-day interactions. This may be challenging for some couples, but can be a crucial part of the process. The therapist's role is to guide these conversations in a constructive direction and ensure each partner feels heard and respected.

Common techniques in couples therapy

Couples therapy can involve a range of therapeutic techniques, depending on the couple's needs and the therapist's approach. These techniques may include communication skills training, problem-solving strategies, and exercises to enhance understanding and intimacy. Different therapists may use different types of therapy for couples; common approaches include the Gottman Method, emotionally focused therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).  

A common focus in couples therapy is enhancing communication skills. Improving the way partners talk and listen to each other can help reduce misunderstandings and conflicts. Couples therapists may facilitate exercises designed to help partners express their feelings and needs more effectively, practice active listening, and respond to each other with empathy and respect.

How couples therapy can address relationship concerns

Couples therapy can be an effective way to address a range of relationship concerns. These concerns could include recurring arguments, difficulties with communication, disagreements about parenting or finances, loss of intimacy, trust issues following an affair, and challenges related to mental health conditions or substance use. That said, major conflicts don’t need to be present in order for a couple to seek counseling—couples can also seek therapy if they are simply interested in strengthening their relationship. 

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Through relationship counseling, partners can gain a better understanding of one another's perspectives, learn new ways to respond to conflicts, and build a healthier and more satisfying relationship. While couples therapy cannot make relationship challenges disappear, it can provide couples with tools and strategies to navigate these challenges more effectively.

In some cases, family members may be invited to participate in sessions. This can be particularly relevant when issues related to children, parenting, or extended family dynamics are contributing to relationship problems. In these instances, a therapist may incorporate techniques from family therapy to address these broader relationship dynamics.

When should couples seek counseling?

Couples can seek counseling at various stages of their relationships and for diverse reasons. Some couples may decide to start therapy proactively, such as when they start to notice recurring patterns of conflict or face a big life change, while others may seek help in response to a specific challenge, such as infidelity. 

Regardless of the reason, it's never too early or too late to seek help. If you and your partner are grappling with relationship obstacles, couples therapy can offer a structured, supportive space to work through these challenges.

Considering online couples therapy

While couples therapy can be very beneficial, many couples may find it difficult to seek help due to balancing their busy schedules. In these cases, online therapy can provide a convenient alternative. You can engage in therapy wherever you have internet—eliminating the need for a commute. You and your partner can even join from different locations.  

A growing body of research has demonstrated the effectiveness of online therapy for relationship concerns. For instance, one such study examined the efficacy of a behavioral couples therapy program conducted through videoconferencing, as compared to face-to-face. It concluded that the online program “demonstrated comparable outcomes” to the face-to-face program. With online therapy, couples can learn to identify unhelpful patterns, express their feelings more effectively, and develop strategies for resolving conflicts, just as they would in face-to-face sessions.