Sex Therapy: A Path To Deepening Your Intimate Connections

Sex is an aspect of human connection for some people and can affect overall health and well-being. However, physical, mental, and emotional challenges can disrupt sexual health and desire, which may have lasting effects on relationships.

If you are experiencing sexual dysfunction or similar challenges, help is available. Sex therapy can be a valuable and effective way to tackle various sexual challenges. These therapy sessions can help you address aspects of your sexual health and well-being. You may also be able to attend therapy with your partner if desired. Understanding sex therapy can start with knowing how human sexuality and mental health are interconnected. 

Understanding human sexuality: A wide spectrum

Human sexuality can be a complex and personal aspect of many people's identity. It may involve more than sexual activity, encompassing an individual's thoughts, feelings, and interactions with others regarding their sexual desires and experiences. Some dimensions of sexuality may include:

• Attraction toward others
• Intimate relationships
• Sexual behavior
• Libido or sexual desire 

Some people, like those on the asexuality spectrum, do not experience sexual attraction toward others or experience a reduced or fluctuating amount of sexual attraction. Being asexual is normal and healthy. However, for those who are not asexual, difficulties with attraction may be a sign for concern. 

Sex therapy has traditionally focused on cisgender and heterosexual encounters, often catering to a narrow demographic of white, middle- and upper-middle-class married couples. However, in the 21st century, sex therapy has evolved to better address the diverse sexual experiences and identities people have.

Common sexual dysfunctions

Sexual dysfunction and sexual problems can be broadly categorized into four main types, affecting people of all genders. These sexual issues can significantly impact an individual's sexual health and quality of life. The following are the four types of dysfunctions: 

• Desire Dysfunction:Desire challenges can be characterized by low sexual desire, affecting a person's interest in engaging in sexual activities. Causes may include hormonal imbalances, psychological factors like stress and anxiety, or relationship conflicts. 
• Arousal Dysfunction:Arousal challenges are focused on the physical inability to become sexually aroused or maintain arousal during sexual activity. These challenges may stem from inadequate blood flow, nerve damage, or emotional factors like performance anxiety or past trauma. 
• Orgasmic Dysfunction:Orgasmic difficulties involve persistent challenges in achieving orgasm despite arousal and stimulation. Emotional factors, medications, and medical conditions like diabetes can contribute to orgasmic disorders. In some cases, sexual dysfunction like erectile dysfunction may lead to difficulty reaching orgasm. 
• Sexual Pain Dysfunction:Sexual pain challenges encompass pain experienced during sexual activities. This pain can include pain during intercourse, genital discomfort, or pain related to medical conditions like endometriosis.

Ways you can deepen sexual desire and intimacy 

Below are a few ways couples and individuals may reduce sexual challenges daily. 

Improving intimacy 

Fostering communication about desires and boundaries can often enhance relationships with sex and pleasure. Exploring fantasies, role-playing, or trying new experiences in a safe, judgment-free environment may strengthen emotional connections between partners.

A healthy body image and self-acceptance 

Developing a positive relationship with one's body and boosting self-confidence can promote a fulfilling sex life. Encouraging self-appreciation and self-love often helps individuals feel more comfortable and confident in their intimate encounters.

A healthy understanding of one's sexual orientation and identity 

Understanding and accepting the diverse spectrum of sexual orientations and identities is often essential for personal growth and healthy relationships. Professional support may help individuals come to terms with their unique identities and cope with societal pressures. In sex talk therapy, counselors and therapists can act as sexuality educators and guide you in understanding your mental health through the lens of identity. If you’re confused about desire, your sex therapist can help you find answers in a safe and non-judgmental environment. 

Addressing guilt, shame, and internal conflict 

Addressing shame, guilt, and internal conflicts can help some individuals embrace their authentic selves and form healthier relationships. By tackling these challenges with sex therapists, educators, counselors and other professionals, individuals might experience a more satisfying and inclusive sexual life.

When should you see a sex therapist for support?

Deciding when to see a certified sex therapist can depend on numerous factors. Individuals or couples may consider seeking support when they face persistent or recurring sexual challenges, such as difficulties with arousal, desire, orgasm, or pain during intercourse. 

Concerns about communication, intimacy, body image, or sexual health, addressing diverse sexual orientations and identities might also be reasons for seeking professional guidance. If these challenges persistently affect your emotional well-being or relationships, it might be beneficial to consult a sex therapist. 

Are sex therapists and sex counselors the same?

Sexual educators, counselors, and therapists have similar jobs but may offer different services. Sexual therapists and counselors are licensed mental health professionals. Educators may teach about sexual health but do not offer therapy or licensed mental health services. 

Sex therapists have a broader scope of practice

Though "sex therapist" and "sex counselor" are sometimes used interchangeably, their scope of practice and educational requirements often differ. Sex therapists are licensed mental health professionals who have undergone specialized training in human sexuality, sexual challenges, and therapeutic approaches. They may address various matters and help clients develop strategies to improve their sexual health.

Contrarily, sex counselors often focus on providing education, guidance, and support on sex-related topics. While they may assist with some sexual concerns, their scope of practice may be narrower than that of a sex therapist. 

The process of sex therapy

Sex therapy is a specialized form of psychotherapy that addresses sexual challenges, such as low sex drive, pain during sex, and difficulty having an orgasm. The process often involves clients discussing their experiences, worries, and feelings with a trained therapist, who may offer skills and strategies for improvement.

What to expect with a sex therapist

During sex therapy sessions, a therapist can assess a client's sexual function and general intimacy concerns, identify mental health diagnoses, and create a comprehensive treatment plan. One common technique in sex therapy is sensate focus, a behavioral approach focusing on physical interactions that some couples enjoy without the pressure of penetrative sex. This intervention may involve homework assignments for couples to complete between sessions.

Other approaches to sex therapy may include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), emotion-based therapy, and couples' communication techniques, which have traditionally been the treatment mainstays for sexual challenges. The goal of sex therapy, in some cases, is to help individuals and couples improve their sexual experiences, which can help improve overall intimacy and sexual satisfaction.

If you are experiencing severe pain during sex, rashes, bruising, or other medical concerns, contact a medical doctor before seeking therapeutic support. Some physical health conditions can cause pain, discomfort, and a loss of libido. 

Some potential benefits of sex therapy

Sex therapy can offer various potential benefits for individuals and couples with sexual concerns. One possible advantage is the improvement of emotional intimacy between partners, which may lead to increased relationship satisfaction and happiness.

Participating in sex therapy may also improve the physical and emotional aspects of a healthy sex life, including lower blood pressure, better heart health, and stress reduction. Sex therapy may also address matters like recovering from an affair, healing from sexual trauma, and coping with menopausal issues and erectile dysfunction. 

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

Individuals can also benefit from sex therapy when not in a relationship, as it allows them to address sexual concerns independently. If you have had distressing past experiences with sex, are not sure how to have sex, or want to learn more about your body, therapy may be beneficial for you. 

How you can find a sex therapist 

A sex therapist may be one step toward improved intimacy and sex in a relationship. Licensed mental health professionals specializing in sex therapy often hold medicine, nursing, psychology, counseling, social work, or marriage and family therapy degrees. You may be able to find them at a local therapy center, in-person practice, or online platform. 

Online sex therapy

Online sex therapy services through platforms like BetterHelp for individuals or ReGain for couples could benefit people with sexual challenges who prefer remote counseling. The ability to join sessions from home may make it easier to comfortably seek support without sacrificing the quality of your care. In addition, couples can meet with their therapist from two separate locations via phone, video, or chat sessions. 

Online therapy services have been proven as an effective option for addressing sexual challenges. One study found that virtual cognitive-behavioral sex therapy could effectively improve sexual function for some individuals. Connecting with a professional you work well with can be the next step toward healthier sexual function, no matter your background or concerns.