Emotion-Focused Therapy

Emotions are usually an integral part of relationships, with a focused intention on them playing a crucial role in forming a secure attachment with our partners. They're often what attracts us to our partners and what binds us to them throughout the relationship. Emotions also tend to provide us with the feelings of dependability that often accompany familial ties and unconditional love.

However, just as emotion can forge healthy bonds, strong negative emotions can cause difficulty in relationships, leading to negative interaction patterns. Sometimes, emotional distress can become stronger than “rational thought” and can cause misunderstandings and conflict in relationships. Emotions, though they might sound simple, can lead to challenges in marriages when they spiral out of control. In those cases, emotion-focused therapy (EFT) may help.

Emotion-focused therapy

Emotionally focused therapy, or EFT, often applied in couples therapy, tends to be centered around the individual, their emotions, and the response to these emotions in the context of their intimate relationships with others. If you're curious about the difference between emotion-focused therapy (EFT) and somatic therapy, the former centers around emotion control as the key component while the latter emphasizes the connection of mind and body.

As an emotion-focused approach, emotion-focused therapy has been evolving since the first manual was published 30 years ago in university training centers, with the change process involving many new steps added since then. Clients of therapists who use emotion-focused therapy may find it helpful because the reflective approach allows individuals to learn emotional control and understand others’ emotions, in addition to increasing awareness of their own emotional response and maladaptive emotions. At the end of the EFT program, clients can learn to control their emotions and have more developed responses to different emotions of other people.

The concept of emotion-focused therapy

The emotion-focused therapy model operates on the concept that sometimes relationships can devolve for a variety of reasons. If these attachment needs are not addressed, emotions can be overwhelming and problems in the relationship can become much larger, resulting in separation and/or intense mental health problems outside the relationship, further affecting the secure bond between partners. 

There's little evidence of emotion-based therapy's effectiveness for certain disorders.

• A person may need to invest more time in this therapy to achieve benefits of emotion-focused therapy

EFT can be very beneficial for individuals who have experienced trauma in the past. However, like many other therapy programs, EFT also has its pros and cons.

Pros:

• Emotion-focused therapy can build deeper emotional connections.

• Clients have experienced deep emotional awareness and regulation after therapy.

• This therapy can be effective for couples and relational issues.

• Going through therapy can create lasting behavioral changes.

• Emotionally focused therapy focuses on emotional blocks.

Cons:

• Emotion-based therapy requires emotional vulnerability.

• This therapy may not suit all personality types.

• Intense emotional processing can be overwhelming for people going through this therapy.

There's little evidence of emotion-based therapy's effectiveness for certain disorders. A person may need to invest more time in this therapy to achieve results.

Emotion-focused therapy method

Emotion-focused therapy typically centers around the attachment-based theory of human functioning. The attachment-based theory originally began with infants and their primary caregivers, but it was soon discovered that adults also have attachments. The attachment-based theory is related to some effects of interpersonal relationships and emotional experiences between humans. Many humans develop adaptive emotions as babies and feel safer when around their loved ones. For instance, you may develop an emotional attachment to your caregiver over time because they care and support you.

Almost everyone has experienced adult attachment or emotional dependence of some type on another person. One of the most common, and sometimes painful, challenges that can cause problems in relationships is fear of abandonment from those we've formed family bonds with and the seemingly uncontrolled and overwhelming emotions that come with it. An EFT therapist, who practices emotionally focused family therapy, may be able to help their client identify and address any potential fear of abandonment.

The pillar of emotion-focused therapy

Another pillar of emotion-focused therapy is the concept of change and the cycle of negative emotional patterns that may occur in relationships. Sometimes the complications of change are harder to cope with within the framework of a relationship than they may otherwise be as an individual. It can disrupt your emotions and turn your world upside down.  Hence, emotionally focused therapy can be helpful in preparing a person to face these challenges.

Whether there is insecurity, resentment, miscommunication, emotional blocks, or another situation that is causing problems in the client's relationship, a family therapy specialist who listens to them and their family members may be able to provide helpful tools and new solutions to move forward and resolve concerns related to attachment. During the therapy, families don’t need to hold their emotions. In therapy, individuals can feel open to express all of their feelings and emotions in the safe space the therapist creates.

Emotion-focused therapy isn’t only effective for helping couples; it can also be beneficial for treating individuals with a range of mental health challenges, such as eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and trauma. It can also be helpful for the families to resolve attachment and communication problems, including issues related to emotions. Whether it’s for individuals, families, or couples, the benefits of emotionally focused therapy as a unique therapeutic approach can include:

• Greater emotional awareness, management, and well-being 
• Greater ability to cope with unhelpful emotions and certain mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and bipolar disorder
• Greater impulse control, self-control, and understanding of one’s emotions
• Making sense of attachment trauma
• Effective restructuring of interactions in love relationships that may have prevented couples from forming a bond
• Greater empathy
• A more developed emotional response after the therapy

Emotion-focused therapy stages

As with many treatments, the techniques of emotion-focused therapy are broken down into stages, with each session charging about  $100 to $250 depending on the therapist's experience and your location. The following are the typical three stages of emotion focused therapy, but they may vary:

Stage one: De-escalation

Whatever the situation, before emotion focused therapy can work, the EFT therapist often needs to try to calm anger, control negative emotions, and deescalate related arguments so they can proceed with stage one of the treatment. This stage is divided into four steps that take place in each introductory emotion focused therapy session:

• A therapist identifies any concerns the couples have, whether related to finances, aging, etc.
• Then, a therapist identifies how those concerns can create negative emotions and negative interactions that damage the relationship. 
• A therapist looks for fears and emotions that may be hiding beneath one's conscious mind and may be causing those negative interactions.
• Next, a therapist explores how the main conflict is connected to those underlying emotions or an internal experience.
• At the onset of therapy, the therapist explores what triggers negative emotions to effectively address them.

Stage two: Changing patterns

In the second stage of EFT, couples are typically taught how to interact better and express their emotional needs. The emotion-based therapist may utilize a clinical handbook or other tools to teach the couple to communicate and express their emotions openly. This active process is divided into three steps:

• A couple can discuss their deep-rooted emotions, as well as their wants and needs.
• During the therapy, both couples are encouraged to speak openly and honestly.
• Each partner is taught different ways to empathize and accept their partner's needs.
• Partners are taught to express their emotions and needs and to discuss these needs without conflict moving forward.

Stage three: Integrating

The third stage of EFT includes two steps:

• A therapist presents the couple with ways to communicate with their partner and to create better solutions for problems in the past, present, and future. 
• Couples leave therapy prepared to use the coping strategies they’ve learned. In this step, the therapist may ask the couple to make a concrete plan for better interaction should a difficult situation arise. 
• Couples implement the plan after the therapy and apply it in their day-to-day life.

Does emotion-focused therapy work?

No kind of therapy is 100% effective. Some couples find they can't settle their differences without separating, but emotion focused therapy research indicates that it has been effective for most people. 

Part of EFT’s effectiveness may be due to its thorough, continuous influence on the couple’s relationship beyond the initial treatment, managing emotions, restructuring interactions, challenging emotional blocks, and fostering a safe haven, even if the couple only engaged in short term therapy. There are typically follow-up appointments based on the individual’s progress, and most couples implement lifelong learning and continue using the techniques throughout their relationship.