The Difference Confidence Therapy Can Make

Confidence can be one of the most beneficial qualities we can have, yet it can also be one of the most elusive. It is not unusual to feel down about yourself or lack faith in your ability to accomplish your goals from time to time. If you are consistently finding that a lack of confidence or low self-esteem is holding you back in your life, though, you might want to consider confidence therapy. 

Keep reading to learn more about how to recognize when you might need confidence therapy and understand how it may make a difference in your life.

Types of confidence therapy

Higher levels of self-esteem have been linked to several mental and physical health benefits and improved overall well-being. Thus, many different forms of therapy may focus on improving a client’s self-confidence. Below are some of the common strategies your therapist might use to help you develop a stronger sense of self-assurance. 

Cognitive behavioral therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a therapeutic technique considered by many psychology and human behavior experts to be the gold standard in treatment for a range of mental health conditions and life concerns, including a lack of self-confidence. CBT is a form of talk therapy based on the belief that a person’s thoughts, assumptions, and attitudes can have a significant impact on their life. Thus, shifting your thoughts can lead to changed behaviors, which may result in improved life experiences.

With cognitive behavioral therapy, a therapist can work with their client to identify unhelpful thoughts or assumptions and understand how these thought patterns show up in their day-to-day life. Linking ineffective thoughts with undesirable behaviors can lead to positive changes as the client and therapist work together to replace negative thoughts with more beneficial ones. 

You might wonder how CBT can work to build self-assurance. Here’s an approach to adjusting an insecure thought pattern through a CBT lens:

• You have experienced an unpleasant situation in your workplace. While walking down the hallway, you pass your supervisor, and you smile and wave at her. She does not make eye contact, respond, or react to you in any way.
• You assume your supervisor intentionally ignored you. You worry that she doesn’t like you or that she’s not happy with your work. You start to feel insecure in your ability to do your job and fear that you will be fired.
• You work with your therapist to understand that these negative thought patterns could lead to lower self-esteem and a lack of confidence, which may translate into maladaptive behaviors such as stressing out over the future of your job or even intentionally avoiding your boss in the future.
• You work with your therapist to replace the negative assumption (that your supervisor intentionally ignored you) with a more positive one. For example, upon reflection, you may think, “She seemed really lost in thought when I walked by. She probably didn’t see me”.
• The more productive assumption (that your supervisor wasn’t ignoring you; she just didn’t notice you) may lead to greater self-confidence and more positive engagement with your job in the future. 

The above situation is just one example of how cognitive behavioral therapy might help build self-confidence. Your therapist can support you in developing other CBT techniques related to enhancing your confidence such as focusing on your positive qualities or paying more attention to the present moment, for instance. 

Exposure therapy 

Exposure therapy is a derivative of cognitive behavioral therapy that focuses specifically on targeting and shifting thought patterns and anxieties related to triggers. Exposure therapy can be a helpful type of confidence therapy for people whose lack of confidence is caused by specific situations such as a fear of public speaking or dating-specific anxiety, for example.

• Exposure therapy involves gradually exposing a person to a situation that provokes fear or insecurity in a safe, controlled environment. This process is known as systematic desensitization. For someone experiencing insecurity and a lack of confidence when exploring potential romantic relationships, a course of systematic desensitization in exposure therapy might resemble the following:
• The therapist asks the client to imagine a low-intensity scenario related to their insecure feelings. For a person with low self-confidence in dating situations, that scenario might look like an event for single people to mingle and make new connections.
• The therapist and the client work together to recognize symptoms of anxiety and process the person’s feelings related to the visualization. 
• Once the client feels safe imagining the low-level scenario, and their associated insecurity has calmed, the therapist asks the client to imagine a situation that is more intense. They might imagine themselves at a mingling event, for example, and discuss all the emotions that could result.
• The therapist and client continue to process the insecurity and fear as the client imagines progressively more intense scenarios such as talking to a prospective romantic interest at the event, for instance.
• Eventually, the client moves out of the realm of imagination and participates in some of the visualized scenarios. Being able to engage with situations that once made them feel anxious may help to reduce insecurity, build self-esteem, and help them feel more confident. 

Acceptance and commitment therapy(ACT)

Acceptance and commitment therapy, commonly abbreviated to ACT, is a therapeutic treatment used in a variety of situations, including ones where the client is hoping to improve their self-esteem. ACT is based on a theory developed by psychology professor Steven C. Hayes who conducts research and teaches psychology courses at the University of Nevada, Reno.

The basic premise of acceptance and commitment therapy is that pain is an essential component of human life that cannot be avoided, so it is healthier to accept instances of difficulty as opposed to attempting to escape them. This philosophy differentiates ACT from CBT: While CBT works on identifying negative thoughts and shifting those thoughts to be more positive, ACT focuses on learning to live with unpleasant or unhealthy thoughts, while ensuring you don’t give those thoughts power over your actions.

Engaging in acceptance and commitment therapy can help promote more positive self-esteem. Worry, doubt, anxiety, and fear are all negative feelings that can be associated with low self-confidence. With ACT, you do not try to avoid those emotions, which may make them worse. Instead, you learn to observe your negative thoughts and let them pass by without internalizing them. This practice can help prevent rumination, which may contribute to low self-esteem. 

Building confidence with online therapy

If you are interested in learning more about the ways one of the above therapeutic techniques may help with enhancing your confidence, you may want to talk to a licensed therapist trained in addressing self-esteem concerns. Sometimes, people experiencing high levels of insecurity may want to seek therapy in the least intimidating and most flexible environment possible. If you would prefer to attend therapy sessions from the safety and comfort of your own home, you might want to consider online therapy. Online therapy platforms such as BetterHelp let you speak with a therapist through video chats, phone calls, and in-app messaging. Being in a safe space as you work with a qualified therapist may give you the convenience you need to embrace change and build your confidence one step at a time. 

The efficacy of online therapy for confidence-building

Scientific research has found that online therapy can be just as effective at addressing self-esteem concerns as traditional in-person therapy. One study analyzed the impact of online therapy on a variety of measures, including self-esteem assessments, and found that upon completing an online therapy course, “immediate improvements were shown in participants’ self-esteem,” empowerment, and perceived quality of life. If you are interested in talking to a therapist about methods for improving your confidence, finding an online counselor through an online therapy platform like BetterHelp may be helpful.