If You Want To Quit Watching Porn, Therapy Can Help
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If watching porn is negatively impacting your mental health, relationships, or sex life, you may be eager to quit but feel unsure of how to go about doing so. Figuring out how to stop doing something that has become an unhealthy part of your life can be very difficult, but therapy can help. In this article, we’ll discuss the signs of porn addiction, the cons of watching porn, and how to get help for porn addiction through therapy. Talk therapy such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) may be able to help people restructure the negative thinking patterns behind unhealthy behaviors like porn addiction. Keep reading to find out more about how porn addiction can be treated.
Signs you may have an unhealthy relationship with porn
Pornography may have some potential benefits according to researchers, such as improving sexual satisfaction or increasing self-acceptance of one’s sexual identity. However, watching pornography can be addictive and can also be linked to negative effects such as causing relationship problems, family tension, and increasing the likelihood of engaging in partnership abuse.
Do you want to quit watching porn? Know the signs of porn addiction
Here is a list of signs that you may have a negative relationship with porn:
- Using it as a coping skill for other mental disorders like anxiety, bipolar disorder, or depression
- Your satisfaction with your relationship or sex life has decreased
- Loss of desire for your partner in committed relationships
- Watching pornography despite the consequences
- Prioritizing watching porn over other social activities you enjoy
- Watching porn at work or school
- Watching porn instead of having sex with a partner
- You feel guilt or shame after watching porn
- You have tried to quit porn before and relapsed.
Why you may benefit from quitting porn
A 2012 research study examined the effects that men’s pornography use had on their heterosexual female partner’s well-being. It found that women who saw their boyfriend’s pornography use as more problematic reported lower self-esteem, relationship quality, and sexual satisfaction.
Quitting pornography may help you to have a more satisfying sex life with less sexual dysfunction. Too much pornography use can make it more difficult to experience sexual desire and can lead to a loss of interest in actual sex. Risky sexual behaviors may also be more prevalent as a result of frequent online pornography usage.
Relationships can also be negatively impacted by the effects of porn addiction. Though not the same as sex addiction, porn addiction can become severe, interfering with daily life and work as well as sexual and romantic relationships. Deciding to quit pornography is a step that you do not have to take alone. Addiction treatment and therapy support groups can help.
Talk therapy for porn addiction
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
There are many different types of talk therapy available. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most popular forms of therapy because of its research-backed effectiveness. CBT focuses on the thought patterns behind maladaptive behaviors, so CBT for porn addiction would likely help the patient focus on becoming aware of the thoughts and feelings behind the urge to watch pornography.
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)
How online therapy can help if you want to quit watching porn
Research has also demonstrated the effectiveness of online therapy for a range of concerns, including addictive behaviors. For instance, one such study conducted a systematic review to examine the effectiveness of internet-based interventions in the management of addictive behaviors. It concluded that “Internet-based interventions are effective in achieving the desired positive behavioral change through reducing problematic behaviors”.
Tips to help you quit watching porn
1. Decide to quit
The first step to quitting porn is deciding to quit. Not everyone who gives up porn does so because of an addiction. People may have ethical, religious, or moral concerns with pornography or their partner may wish for them to stop. Whatever your reason is for quitting, make the conscious decision to quit, and try to hold onto that. It may help to articulate your reason or reasons for quitting to help you stay motivated.
2. Practice self-acceptance
3. Remove porn from your environment
4. Ask someone to hold you accountable
Because watching porn is a task that is usually done alone, quitting can be especially hard because of the lack of accountability. For some people, having an accountability partner can be very powerful in helping them to stick to their goals and be more successful. You may be able to find an accountability partner for porn addiction at a local support group, online, or from a trained therapist.
5. Go to a support group
If you want to quit watching porn, you are not alone. As noted by the American Psychological Association (APA), one recent survey found that 9% of people who watch porn said they had tried to stop and were unsuccessful.
6. Learn healthy coping skills
One way to help you quit an unwanted behavior is to try replacing it with a healthy one. When you have the urge to watch pornography, you can try to reflect on why you feel that way and then practice a healthy coping skill like meditation or exercise instead. Therapeutic stress-relief techniques like breathing exercises, meditation, and yoga can help to alleviate symptoms of stress and anxiety.
7. Change your environment
8. Make a relapse prevention plan
Quitting pornography for good can require a good relapse prevention plan. A relapse prevention plan can be a list of things to do if you feel a relapse is likely to occur. Examples of relapse prevention include journaling, going for a walk, calling your therapist, talking to your accountability partner, or attending a support group meeting.
9. Reflect on your values
Some people decide to quit porn because their pornography consumption habits are not aligned with their values. Reflecting on your values throughout the recovery process can help you to be in alignment with your ideal self and avoid unwanted behaviors.
Takeaway
What causes a porn addiction?
Some factors that may be involved in the development of “porn addictions” include:
- Brain chemistry
- Underlying mental health challenges
- Coping mechanisms for loneliness, fear, and other forms of psychological distress
- Sexual dissatisfaction or lack of a healthy sex life
- A history of substance use disorder or abuse
Porn addiction is not a diagnosable condition, but compulsive porn consumption may cause people significant distress or impact daily life and relationships. If you want to stop watching porn, it can help to do some of the following:
- Block pornographic content on your devices to reduce temptation
- Get more involved in your community
- Deal with underlying shame, guilt, or relationship problems, which can often reduce the uncontrollable desire for pleasure
- Consider relationship and/or individual therapy
- Try group therapy or support groups
Oftentimes, taking a holistic approach to understand and address underlying problems with self-care and professional support may be the most effective at reducing the consumption of pornographic content.
How long does it take to get over porn addiction?
According to the American Psychological Association, pornography consumption can become problematic, with about 9% of porn viewers finding it incredibly difficult to stop. Furthermore, some studies show that brain activity of compulsive porn users viewing erotic materials is similar to people with alcohol use disorder viewing alcohol bottles. This research may point to a link between obsessive porn consumption and addiction, though it’s not yet listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual.
The amount of time it takes to overcome porn “addictions” can vary significantly and research on the topic is limited. But some things that might help include:
- Replace bad habits with something else: Try engaging in a healthy activity, like physical exercise or meditation, when urges occur.
- Connect with others: Addictive behaviors can lead to self-isolation, which can contribute to mental health challenges that further drive compulsive porn consumption. Instead, consider spending time with friends in person.
- Know your triggers: For some people, understanding triggers is a key part of recovery. Consider if things like staying up late alone, major life stressors, boredom, or a sense of loneliness might be driving porn consumption.
- Limit access to porn: Consider using controls or blockers on your devices to manage access to pornographic material.
What does a porn addiction look like?
Some signs that a person might be experiencing problematic porn use include feeling ashamed or hiding digital evidence of watching porn, consumption interferes with daily functioning or limits productivity, significant loss of money, distraction, impact on relationships, or similar struggles.
What happens when you quit watching porn?
For most people, stopping porn consumption doesn’t lead to “withdrawal” symptoms. However, some people report experiencing symptoms like depression, brain fog, mood swings, insomnia, lack of motivation, headaches, loneliness, or frustration.
How common is porn addiction?
Porn addiction is not a recognized diagnosis, but some studies estimate that around 4.9% of people experience compulsive sexual behavior in their lifetime, with 1.2% of women and 4.4% of men self-reporting addiction to online pornography.
How does porn affect the brain?
Some ways in which porn may affect the brain include:
- The release of neurotransmitters like dopamine, which functions as a reward
- Potential desensitization to dopamine surges, which may drive reward-seeking behavior
- Unrealistic expectations and normalization of pornographic depictions
- Impacts on grey matter in the prefrontal cortex and decision-making processes
There is limited research on the impact of porn consumption, but early research suggests that compulsive use may function similarly to substance use disorders.
Does porn reduce gray matter?
Some studies have found that frequent consumption of pornography may decrease grey matter brain volume in the prefrontal cortex, which might lead to outcomes like reduced decision-making skills. However, these changes might apply to any problematic internet use, not just pornography.
How can you help someone with a porn addiction?
Some strategies you can use to help someone with problematic pornography consumption include:
- Actively listen without passing judgement or invalidating their feelings
- Share your concerns compassionately and calmly
- Invite them to activities and social events
- Set expectations and avoid accidentally enabling their behavior
- Gently suggest professional help, such as individual therapy, group therapy, or support groups
Social support can be an essential element in managing problematic porn consumption.
What does porn addiction do?
So-called “porn addiction” is not a recognized diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). However, compulsive porn consumption can be distressing and impact daily life.
Some things compulsive porn viewing might lead to include feelings of shame or loneliness, negative self-image, unrealistic expectation, harm to relationships, impacts to productivity, physical pain, or financial stress.
Why is it so hard to stop an addiction?
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, addictive behaviors are often reinforced through the brain’s reward circuitry, positive reinforcement, maladaptive coping strategies, cravings, and withdrawal. This can make it very difficult for people to stop engaging in addictive behaviors without support.
The inaccurate belief that recovery is a matter of willpower disregards brain chemistry and stigmatizes addiction.
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