Want To Quit Porn Use? Therapy Can Help

Medically reviewed by Nikki Ciletti, M.Ed, LPC
Updated September 3, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team
Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include suicide, substance use, or abuse which could be triggering to the reader.
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If watching porn is negatively impacting your mental health, relationships, or sex life, you may be eager to quit but feel unsure of how to go about doing so. Figuring out how to stop doing something that has become an unhealthy part of your life can be very difficult, but therapy can help. In this article, we’ll discuss the signs of porn addiction, the cons of watching porn, and how to get help for porn addiction through therapy. Talk therapy such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) may be able to help people restructure the negative thinking patterns behind unhealthy behaviors like porn addiction. Keep reading to find out more about how porn addiction can be treated. 

Signs you may have an unhealthy relationship with porn

Pornography may have some potential benefits according to researchers, such as improving sexual satisfaction or increasing self-acceptance of one’s sexual identity. However, watching pornography can be addictive and can also be linked to negative effects such as causing relationship problems, family tension, and increasing the likelihood of engaging in partnership abuse.

The American Psychiatric Association does not recognize porn addiction as an official mental health disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), rather, it falls under the umbrella of addictive behaviors. Since there is no official diagnosis, how can you know if you are addicted to porn?  

Here is a list of signs that you may have a negative relationship with porn:

  • Using it as a coping skill for other mental disorders like anxiety, bipolar disorder, or depression
  • Your satisfaction with your relationship or sex life has decreased 
  • Loss of desire for your partner in committed relationships
  • Watching pornography despite the consequences
  • Prioritizing watching porn over other social activities you enjoy 
  • Watching porn at work or school
  • Watching porn instead of having sex with a partner 
  • You feel guilt or shame after watching porn
  • You have tried to quit porn before and relapsed.

Why you may benefit from quitting porn

A 2012 research study examined the effects that men’s pornography use had on their heterosexual female partner’s well-being. It found that women who saw their boyfriend’s pornography use as more problematic reported lower self-esteem, relationship quality, and sexual satisfaction. 

Quitting pornography may help you to have a more satisfying sex life with less sexual dysfunction. Too much pornography use can make it more difficult to experience sexual desire and can lead to a loss of interest in actual sex. Risky sexual behaviors may also be more prevalent as a result of frequent online pornography usage.  

Relationships can also be negatively impacted by the effects of porn addiction. Though not the same as sex addiction, porn addiction can become severe, interfering with daily life and work as well as sexual and romantic relationships. Deciding to quit pornography is a step that you do not have to take alone. Addiction treatment and therapy support groups can help. 

Talk therapy for porn addiction

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For some people, excessive pornography use becomes an unhealthy habit that they have difficulty stopping on their own. Making changes to our habits and behaviors can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it by yourself. Talk therapy from an experienced therapist can help teach you coping skills and behavioral techniques to address excessive porn use and move forward.

There are many different types of talk therapy available. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most popular forms of therapy because of its research-backed effectiveness. CBT focuses on the thought patterns behind maladaptive behaviors, so CBT for porn addiction would likely help the patient focus on becoming aware of the thoughts and feelings behind the urge to watch pornography. 

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) may also be used for problematic pornography use. This type of therapy involves accepting your thoughts and feelings, and it may be an effective treatment option for porn addiction. This type of therapy can help you accept that those feelings exist without acting on them. In some situations, family therapy or couples therapy can also be an option for couples.
For some people, excessive porn use could be an unhealthy coping mechanism for anxiety, depression, OCD, or PTSD – or even be related to alcohol addiction. Talk therapy can help address the symptoms of any mental health conditions that could be increasing the urge to watch pornography. 

How online therapy can help

For some people experiencing porn addiction, they may feel embarrassed or ashamed to seek help because of the stigma associated with such behaviors. In these cases, online therapy may feel like a more comfortable option, as it allows you to meet with your therapist from your own home rather than having to go into an office. 

Research has also demonstrated the effectiveness of online therapy for a range of concerns, including addictive behaviors. For instance, one such study conducted a systematic review to examine the effectiveness of internet-based interventions in the management of addictive behaviors. It concluded that “Internet-based interventions are effective in achieving the desired positive behavioral change through reducing problematic behaviors”. 

Another study found that web-based treatments showed promise for the “short-term reduction in symptoms, duration, or frequency of online addictive behaviors” including pornography use. 

Tips to help you quit watching porn

In addition to seeking therapy, here are nine tips to help get you started with quitting porn:

1. Decide to quit

The first step to quitting porn is deciding to quit. Not everyone who gives up porn does so because of an addiction. People may have ethical, religious, or moral concerns with pornography or their partner may wish for them to stop. Whatever your reason is for quitting, make the conscious decision to quit, and try to hold onto that. It may help to articulate your reason or reasons for quitting to help you stay motivated. 

2. Practice self-acceptance

Practicing self-acceptance during this journey can be important for sticking with the treatment and preventing relapse. Changing habits and behaviors can be very difficult, so try to treat yourself with kindness and patience as you work toward quitting. Many people experience porn addiction and experienced professionals can help you in a non-judgmental environment. 

3. Remove porn from your environment

To reduce the risk of relapse, it may help to make gaining entry points to pornography as difficult as possible by getting rid of all porn in the home and blocking porn websites from your browser. You can use parental safety controls to block adult content on your devices. 

4. Ask someone to hold you accountable

Because watching porn is a task that is usually done alone, quitting can be especially hard because of the lack of accountability. For some people, having an accountability partner can be very powerful in helping them to stick to their goals and be more successful. You may be able to find an accountability partner for porn addiction at a local support group, online, or from a trained therapist. 

5. Go to a support group

If you want to quit watching porn, you are not alone. As noted by the American Psychological Association (APA), one recent survey found that 9% of people who watch porn said they had tried to stop and were unsuccessful.  

Porn addiction treatment can include individual therapy and support from groups like SAA. These support groups operate much the same way as substance use disorder support groups by following a twelve-step program. Individuals with a porn addiction can connect with peers for support, advice, and accountability at these judgment-free support groups. SAA meetings are open to everyone who needs help overcoming addictive sexual behaviors. 

6. Learn healthy coping skills

One way to help you quit an unwanted behavior is to try replacing it with a healthy one. When you have the urge to watch pornography, you can try to reflect on why you feel that way and then practice a healthy coping skill like meditation or exercise instead. Therapeutic stress-relief techniques like breathing exercises, meditation, and yoga can help to alleviate symptoms of stress and anxiety. 

7. Change your environment

Switching up your environment can be beneficial for starting a new habit. If you have the urge to watch porn, you may want to get out of the house and go for a walk in nature. You could also give your environment an upgrade by redecorating or reorganizing in a way to optimize your space for recovery. For example, taking down certain posters, throwing out certain magazines, or putting away electronics previously used for watching pornography may all be helpful. 

8. Make a relapse prevention plan

Quitting pornography for good can require a good relapse prevention plan. A relapse prevention plan can be a list of things to do if you feel a relapse is likely to occur. Examples of relapse prevention include journaling, going for a walk, calling your therapist, talking to your accountability partner, or attending a support group meeting. 

9. Reflect on your values

Some people decide to quit porn because their pornography consumption habits are not aligned with their values. Reflecting on your values throughout the recovery process can help you to be in alignment with your ideal self and avoid unwanted behaviors. 

Getty/Vadym Pastukh

Takeaway

If watching porn is negatively impacting parts of your life, you may want to stop, but doing so can be hard. If you’d like support in making a change, therapy can help. A trained therapist can help you to address these behaviors, identify what might be at the root of these habits, and incorporate more positive behaviors instead. For support with these and other concerns, you can connect with a licensed therapist remotely through online therapy.
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