Sex Therapist

Sex therapists study human sexuality and sexual issues. Going to a sex therapist, having a low sex drive or poor sex life, experiencing sex addiction, having questions about sexual activity, or not having sex at all can be vulnerable topics for many individuals and couples, resulting in stigmas surrounding therapy for sexual topics and sexual issues. However, sex therapy can benefit those experiencing issues surrounding sex, sexuality, and intimacy. 

What does a sex therapist do?

Sex therapists are licensed therapists, social workers, therapists, healthcare providers, or psychologists with specialized training who can provide specialized therapy services to clients seeking sexual advice and support for sexual difficulties and intimacy issues, and they help people investigate psychological causes of their sex and intimacy issues. Most sex therapists have psychotherapy training and are trained in many forms of therapy but may have taken extra courses in topics like sexuality, sexual trauma, pain during sex, sexual dysfunctions, or intimacy skills. A sex therapist, like all therapists, is not a medical doctor and cannot prescribe medication (though they may have a doctoral degree). Sex therapy sessions may include different types of therapy, including cognitive behavioral therapy or emotion-based therapy. A sex therapist can work with individuals, couples, or groups of clients. Sex therapists work in various contexts, but most often in own practice.

In some cases, a psychologist may work with a client to find a surrogate partner as part of sex therapy for surrogate partner therapy. Surrogate partners, who are separately licensed independent contractors and not therapists, work alongside clients to complement the work done in sex therapy sessions. The surrogate partner will act as a partner for an individual without a sexual partner to practice the exercises learned in sex therapy. These activities are also done outside the sex therapy session, and the therapist does not participate in or witness it. 

According to the American Psychological Association, sex therapy today is heading in five emerging directions. These include:

• Mindfulness-based interventions
• Psychotherapy interventions over medications
• Expanding inclusivity
• Considering the couple’s perspective
• Changing attitudes toward sex

Sex therapist qualifications

There are different ways to become a certified sex therapist. A sex therapist can be various types of mental health professionals, including a psychiatrist (a doctor with a medical degree), a marriage and family therapist (LMFT), a clinical psychologist, a clinical social worker (LCSW), or a licensed practicing counselor (LPCs). They have a bachelor's degree and a master’s degree. In addition, sex therapists often attend further educational courses in sex therapy, sexual health, sexual medicine, and couples therapy. 

In many cases, sex therapists obtain a sex therapy certification through a board like the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). In addition, they must have at least a master's degree in a related field, clinical hours under supervision, and an up-to-date state license to practice counseling or therapy. 

Techniques used in sex therapist sessions

A licensed sex therapist uses various traditional forms of therapy to help clients address concerns, thoughts, and feelings surrounding sexuality, intimacy, relationships, sexual life, sensuality, and sexual function. 

You do not have to have a mental illness, be in a relationship, or struggle to have intimate sex to talk to a sex therapist or social worker and benefit from sex therapy. Many of these providers also support those frequently sexually active, those looking to learn more about their bodies, and couples trying to connect in new ways. Sex therapy can be a positive process that aims to reduce shame and open the conversation about sex positivity.

In addition, a sex therapist isn't necessarily limited to discussing sexual topics. Often, emotional topics can connect to sex, body image, and sexual activity. Through sex therapy, a sex therapist may also help individuals and couples address the following: 

• Family planning can be facilitated with the help of a sex therapist.
• During life transitions such as moving, having a baby, or starting a new career, a sex therapist can provide valuable support.
• Emotional challenges are another area where a sex therapist can offer assistance.
• For those struggling to communicate effectively in relationships, a sex therapist can provide guidance and tools.
• A sex therapist can help individuals process and heal from past non-sexual traumas.
• Unhealthy relationship dynamics can be addressed and improved with the expertise of a sex therapist.
• If local resources are needed, a sex therapist can help connect clients with appropriate services.
• Mental health challenges can also be addressed in sessions with a sex therapist.
• A sex therapist can work to reignite romance and intimacy in relationships. 
• Dependency on sexual behaviors like watching pornography can be managed with the intervention of a sex therapist. 

After understanding the client's challenges, a sex therapist recognizes a couple's goals and can develop a treatment plan to guide them. A sex therapist can also lead support groups for individuals seeking a community with similar challenges. Often, support groups can be free or low-cost. All you have to do is to seek options online or in person and join a group where you feel most comfortable. 

What happens during sex therapy?

Sex therapy does not involve intimacy or physical touching during sessions with the therapist or your partner. Instead, sex therapy is often a form of talk therapy about a sexual problem involving a professional conversation about your goals, experiences, feelings, and needs. If you feel uncomfortable meeting with a sex therapist for the first time, you can ask questions and get to know their approach to sex therapy sessions. 

What is a typical session like?

Sex therapy sessions with a therapist may begin with the client describing their intimacy concerns or sexual concerns with their therapist. The therapist can take notes and start to develop a treatment plan while asking questions to get an idea of the client's goals in therapy. For example, a personal goal for one therapy client might be feeling more emotionally connected with their partner. One goal for another may be to reduce sexually compulsive behaviors or other sexual problems. While yet another may be to increase sexual desire. The treatment for each goal can differ. 

A sex therapist assessment

Your sex therapist can assess your sexual background, including experiences with past sexual partners, and how it integrates with your current concerns. Through this type of therapy, they may offer a diagnosis or discuss research surrounding the sexual challenges you've come to discuss. For example, suppose you're experiencing pain during sex-related to psychological distress. In that case, the therapist may offer physical exercises to increase pelvic muscle strength, individual activities to improve psychological comfort and support your emotional responses to pain so that you can find more comfort during sex.

A sex therapist may give you and your partner exercises to work on in-between therapy sessions. These exercises might include communicating in new ways, reading about sexual health, changing your interactions with your partner, role-playing, or trying a new form of touch. These activities might be challenging or awkward initially, but connecting with your partner may improve your sexual connection. 

Discussing sexual intimacy during sessions

Speaking with a stranger about something as intimate as sex, for many individuals, seems uncomfortable and can be nerve-wracking. However, a sex therapist is a licensed professional trained to support these concerns and may have had clients with similar challenges as you in the past. They are not there to judge you and are ethically required to have an empathetic, open-minded, and supportive practice. 

Does therapy with a sex therapist last long?

Each client differs, and the amount of time you remain in sex therapy can be your choice. If you're experiencing a short-term challenge, sex therapy may last a few weeks or months. Therapy may take longer if you're experiencing a long-term challenge, mental illness, or memories of a past traumatic experience. Either way, there's no "right" or "wrong" way to do therapy. 

Should I go to sex therapy?

When deciding whether to see a therapist and start doing sex therapy, ask yourself what benefit you might gain from treatment. If any of the challenges above seem to be present in your life or you feel you need to talk to someone about your body, intimacy, or sexual touch, a sex therapist may suit you. Note that other types of healthcare providers, such as your family therapist or some "regular" therapists may be able to offer sex therapy techniques for sexual issues as well. 

Online therapy for sexuality and mental health

As a client, practice what is most comfortable for you. If you struggle to get yourself to go in person to an office, you can consider online sex therapy to avoid feelings of awkwardness or shame. Through an online platform like BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples, you can find a sex therapist and use a nickname during sessions. In addition, you can choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions for flexibility. 

If you're unsure about the effectiveness of online sex therapy, note that internet-based intervention has been found effective in treating symptoms of sexual dysfunction and increasing improved sexual functioning in clients.