What Is The Best Type Of Relationship Therapy For Mental Health?
Therapy doesn’t only support individuals—Couples therapy is a way for individuals in a relationship to come together and work on goals like improving communication and increasing intimacy. Although previously associated with marriage difficulties and divorce, couples therapy is a type or form of healing therapy that can be used by any couple, including those who are not married, those who haven't been together for a long time, and those in polyamorous relationships. However, with more couples than ever before attending therapy, knowing what type of relationship therapy to pick can be difficult. Researching each option in depth may help you and your partner decide on the most suitable type of relationship counseling. Below, explore a few of these options.
What is the best type of relationship therapy for you?
According to Forbes, 49% of married couples attend couples therapy each year. Many couples therapy modalities are available to help couples improve communication and connection in adult relationships. Researching each form or type of therapy and understanding how they function can help you make an informed decision about the type of therapist you pick.
Specific therapeutic modalities explore similar themes using different tools. The one you choose may depend on the problem you face and the support you seek to achieve your goals. Below are some of the most popular couples therapy techniques in the US.
The Gottman Method
The Gottman method, a type of couples therapy, is a therapeutic approach developed by John and Julie Gottman, psychologists and couples therapists with over three decades of experience in couples therapy. This method emphasizes affection, respect, and intimacy in relationships as strategies for healthy conflict resolution and managing relationship distress. In addition, the modality highlights the benefits of teamwork in resolution, noting that resolution may not always be the end goal.
What does the Gottman method involve?
The Gottman method involves an extensive assessment form and employs love maps, which are charts you create with your partner to map out your concerns, joys, stresses, history, and aspirations. Love maps aim to increase admiration and fondness by fostering respect and appreciation for one’s partner. The Gottman therapy method demonstrates that marital conflict can often be managed healthily and doesn’t always need to be solely resolved or treated. Although this perspective may be unexpected, it may be helpful for those seeking to learn new problem-solving skills.
If you're interested in trying Gottman therapy, many therapists, including marriage and family therapists, are often trained to provide it. Additionally, John and Julie Gottman hold annual couples retreats for those seeking an immersive form of therapy. Clients may expect to focus on relationship-building through evidence-based techniques to improve the bonds in their relationships.
Emotionally focused couples therapy (EFT)
Emotionally focused couples therapy (EFT) is a type of individual, family, and couples therapy developed by Dr. Susan Johnson, based on Gestalt psychology theory. Although initially designed for marriage therapy, EFT can also be applied to any adult relationship, including in couples and family therapy. EFT is commonly used in hospitals, exclusive practices, clinics, and training centers.
While emotionally focused therapy can address various relationship issues, sessions often focus on emotional sensitivity, vulnerable emotions, depression, anxiety, and unmet childhood needs. If one or both partners experience emotional concerns, EFT may be beneficial. However, this form of treatment is often a short-term solution, which may not be ideal for couples seeking more intensive support.
Three goals in the EFT session
There are three goals in an EFT therapy session, including:
- The reorganization and expansion of your emotional responses
- Safeguarding the bond you have with your partner
- Repositioning the stance you have on interactions to create healthier interactions within the partnership
The International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) asserts that EFT yields lasting results and increases relationship satisfaction. However, note that emotionally focused therapy and emotion-focused therapy are not the same. Although both can be employed with couples and families, they have distinct approaches.
Positive psychology talk therapy
Positive psychology is a school of thought often employed in talk therapy to emphasize positivity, whether through deeper emotions, strengths, or other sources. This technique fosters the notion that happiness can be derived from multiple sources and attempts to distance itself from disease models of viewing mental health.
In positive psychology relationship therapy, therapists enable couples to explore happy moments as they occur instead of in retrospect. Couples may find ways to appreciate their moments together and discover contentment in daily activities using mindfulness techniques led by their therapists. Positive psychology-based therapy may benefit those seeking to avoid negative behaviors, blame, or distressing subjects. In this therapy approach, your couples therapist can offer compliments, optimistic remarks, and enjoyable exercises to help you and your partner connect and experience more moments of joy.
What does positive psychology involve in relationship therapy?
In relationship therapy, positive psychology might involve utilizing communication skills through beepers and pagers. These tools allow the therapist to press a button that leaves a beep on a client's pager. When the couple hears the beep, they're reminded to write down any current positive thoughts or partake in a mindfulness exercise and write about the experience. At their next session, they can bring their journal entry to therapy and discuss the experience with the therapist. Being paged unexpectedly allows couples to practice mindfulness during actual daily tasks. However, there are no hard and fast rules when the therapist presses the beeper. The strategy is often left to the therapist's discretion, based on their understanding of the couple’s unique dynamics and the areas they’re working to improve.
Who can benefit from positive psychology?
You might benefit from positive psychology if you struggle to appreciate your partner, enjoy the happy moments, or focus on your daily life together. Anyone can partake in this modality regardless of diagnosis, symptoms, or relationship concerns. However, you might not benefit from positive psychology if you seek more structured guidance and in-depth conversations about challenging experiences or conflict resolution.
Narrative therapy
Narrative therapy can be engaging for those who enjoy roleplaying, acting, or storytelling. Initially developed as a family therapy technique, narrative therapy involves externalizing the conflicts within a relationship, allowing couples to manage conflict effectively. The therapist may prompt clients to talk about a problem as a story with characters, seeing it from an outside perspective. As they tell the story, they might be asked to rewrite aspects and form a new and healthier narrative.
Rewriting past experiences can help couples acknowledge that a problem isn't what defines a person and can be worked through as a team. If you see yourself and your partner as writers of a story (your life together), you may develop problem-solving skills together instead of individually. In addition, you might notice that your problems do not define your personality or how your future will look.
Couples may regain control of their conflicts by implementing the strategies learned in relationship therapy. Narrative therapy offers a neutral outlook to the story told and provides partners the chance to explore the past and discuss how they might act differently in the future. Clients may also enjoy the creative couples therapy techniques used in narrative therapy, allowing them to use their imagination.
Communication analysis
Communication analysis is a type of relationship therapy in which a therapist focuses on improving how couples interact and communicate. Studies have found communication to be one of the most important predictors of marital satisfaction. Without communication, commitment and romantic partners' bonding behavior may not lead to marital satisfaction. Research-backed communication strategies may help you and your partner offer empathy to each other during difficult conversations.
Communication often involves conscious effort. What is clear to one partner might be unclear to the other. Couples may expect their partner to understand their feelings based on body language or cues. For this reason, learning to communicate directly can decrease one’s chances of misunderstandings and negative behavior patterns. In addition, people can have different communication styles, so understanding how your styles match up can help you structure your conversations with your therapist.
Relationship or family therapists can help you develop practical means of communication to target misunderstandings. Although communication-based therapy may be most beneficial, therapists often incorporate this method in various forms of relationship therapy.
Imago relationship therapy
Imago therapy combines spiritual and behavioral concerns that couples may have, addressing childhood experiences that influence their relationships. The therapist will often use techniques combined with traditional therapy, like cognitive-behavioral therapy, to examine the unconscious reasons behind choosing one’s partner. In this type of therapy, couples can examine how they relate to one another in caring, positive ways while the therapist helps them see conflicts as a means to a solution rather than a problem.
Imago relationship therapy posits that directly targeting a relationship's most painful or distressing wounds, including those linked to substance misuse (previously ‘substance abuse’) or eating disorders, is the most effective way to treat them. Similar to CBT therapy, partners can learn to discuss their past, identify negative thoughts, evoke deeper emotions, and work through problem-solving difficulties with their therapist. The relationship therapist can then offer support and help the couples develop solutions based on the lessons they learn from their conflicts, employing solution-focused therapy techniques to increase and strengthen intimacy and improve communication.
If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.
Relationship therapy options
Perhaps you are wondering whether you and your partner should seek therapy or whether therapy can make relationships better. Choosing between the many modalities available can be overwhelming for some couples, and you may have several questions about the therapy process. Which counseling style works best for couples? What issues can you share with therapists? What’s the best style of therapy for you? Many couples struggle to afford therapy or find a therapist who provides their method of choice in their city. In these cases, online relationship therapy may be valuable.
Online relationship counseling
Peer-reviewed studies show that online relationship counseling services are an effective method of helping couples improve communication and relationship functioning. In one wide-ranging review published in the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, researchers examined the effects of online couples counseling interventions for satisfied couples in healthy relationships and couples in distress. The report begins by listing the adverse effects of relationship dissatisfaction, including increased risk of individual mental illness, poor physical health, and impairments in work and social life. According to researchers, online couples therapy provides several benefits, including decreased cost and reduced barriers to care. These findings are similar to several recent studies suggesting that online couples therapy is cost-effective.
If you're not ready to discuss these issues in your relationship face-to-face, platforms like BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples can allow you to seek discernment therapy one-on-one from the comfort of your home. With online therapy, you can have therapy from home. Partners can attend couples therapy under nicknames through phone, video, or live chat sessions from separate locations, which may be more accessible.
Takeaway
The best type of relationship therapy is the one that works for you. Ask yourself questions before reaching out to a provider, and research each type of therapy you're interested in. If you and your partner don't both like a provider, it might be beneficial to schedule a consultation with others until you find a match.
The best type of relationship therapy is the one that works for you. Ask yourself questions before reaching out to a provider, and research each type of therapy you're interested in. If you and your partner don't like a provider, consult multiple options before you find a match. Couples seek therapy for many reasons; you do not have to have a mental illness to see a therapist. Regardless of your chosen modality, your therapist can help you outline a unique treatment plan personalized to your goals. Consider reaching out to a therapist online or in your area to get started.
What approach is the most common in couples therapy?
A few common couples therapy methods for marriage and relationships include the Gottman Method, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), and emotionally-focused therapy. These modalities may encourage couples to recognize and address their unhealthy repetitive patterns in their relationship or marriage to connect on a deeper level. More approaches in therapy include the following:
- Imago relationship therapy: In this style of therapy, therapists focus on understanding childhood experiences and how they influence patterns in relationships. These insights encourage couples to build empathy in a unique style for their specific relationship.
- Narrative therapy: This therapeutic style uses external narratives to help support relationships. Partners in all types of relationships - married or live-in couples - rewrite their stories with the help of therapists to find ways to resolve issues.
- Solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT): This forward-looking style emphasizes identifying problems in various forms of relationships with therapists. At the end of the session, couples can create actionable steps toward achieving specific goals.
- Transactional analysis therapy (TA): TA therapy requires therapists to examine the interactions between partners, breaking them down into Parent, Adult, and Child roles. The therapy aims to understand how these dynamics can help couples develop healthier relationships.
- Attachment-based therapy: This therapy style focuses on the emotional bonds between partners, often rooted in attachment styles formed during childhood. The modality helps couples address insecurities and strengthen trust in their relationship with a licensed therapist.
- Psychodynamic therapy: This deep-analytic style explores unconscious motivations and past experiences that may affect relationships. By gaining insight into these hidden dynamics, couples can work toward long-term relational growth.
- Integrative behavioral couple therapy (IBCT): This flexible style combines strategies from various therapies. IBCT focuses on acceptance and change in relationships. Couples learn to understand and accept their differences and work through relationship issues in sessions.
Is therapy with a marriage and family therapist good for couples?
Couples therapy with a licensed marriage and family therapist can be highly effective when both partners are willing to put in effort and change their behavior. However, therapy may not be as impactful if only one partner is interested in repairing the relationship.
If you want to rebuild trust in your marriage by visiting a marriage therapist, have an open conversation about therapy with your partner. Marriage is a partnership that requires effort from both individuals. With the help of a marriage therapist, you can work on conflict resolution and strengthen your relationship.
What is the best therapy for marriage and mental health?
The best type of therapy can vary from couple to couple. Some couples who want to rekindle romance in their relationship may benefit from Imago therapy, while others prefer cognitive behavioral therapy or therapy that takes a narrative form, for example. Different types of therapy may be suitable depending on the specific situation and the types of problems a married couple is experiencing.
Married couples may also try marriage counseling, a specialized form of therapy designed to help them navigate challenges in their marriage. Counseling sessions typically focus on improving open communication and conflict resolution in marriage. Through marriage counseling, couples can gain insights from each other to address challenges in their relationship.
Should couples have different therapists to handle couples therapy and counseling?
If your relationship has a history of violence and abuse, going to therapy individually might be the best solution. If a couple attends therapy individually, it’s generally best practice for each partner to have a different therapist. It may be considered unethical for one therapist to see both partners individually, compromising the discretion between therapist and client.
Couples therapy often involves joint sessions so partners can work on challenges in real-time. This type of joint counseling can assist couples in communicating openly. The therapist can listen to both partners without judgment while observing ethical considerations. Whether couples choose couples therapy, individual counseling, or a combination, the end goal is often to strengthen the relationship.
What is the best type of relationship therapy for couples?
Many types of therapy can be used for relationships, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), the Gottman Method, and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Each of these approaches typically involves various couples therapy exercises that may be completed during therapy sessions or at home:
- Couples trauma therapy: In this type of couples therapy, the therapist focuses on helping couples navigate trauma from the different relationships each partner has experienced.
- Gestalt therapy: This experiential therapy requires the therapist to help couples focus on the present moment to heal their emotions.
- Behavioral couple therapy (BCT): BCT is one of the most popular therapy styles. In this type of couples therapy, therapists follow principles of behaviorism to help couples fix problems in their relationships.
- Mindfulness-based therapy: This modality integrates mindfulness techniques during sessions to reduce stress among couples. One of the top goals of this form of therapy is to help couples become more self-aware, helping them deepen their connection.
- Couples cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is one of the top forms of therapy used by couples therapists. The process involves having couples identify and correct negative thought patterns by replacing them with healthier ways of thinking.
- Relational life therapy (RLT): In this therapy, therapists focus on the dynamics of power and control. RLT is considered a top technique to address unresolved anger and resentment between couples.
Several factors can affect the best type of couples therapy, such as the couple's response to therapy and counseling techniques. Couples therapy is often more successful when both partners actively participate. Whether through couples therapy or counseling, the goal is often to foster understanding and rebuild trust in the relationship.
How does therapy with the Gottman Method work?
According to the Gottman Institute, “The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy, respect, and affection, remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.” Through this type of couples therapy and counseling, couples can work through their differences and build a healthier relationship. Partners can improve their relationship health by working toward these goals in couples therapy. These small, positive changes can signal that the relationship is moving in the right direction.
Is therapy better than counseling?
While “therapy” and “counseling” are often used interchangeably, they have some distinctions. In general, counseling tends to be a short-term intervention focused on one specific issue. Meanwhile, therapy tends to be a longer process that seeks a deeper understanding of a person’s experiences, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors. Therefore, neither option is necessarily “better” than the other, but they may be suited for different situations. Your therapist or counselor can brief you on the process before starting.
Can couples therapy bring back love?
It can be possible for couples therapy to reignite the flame in unhappy marriages and relationships as long as both partners are invested. Various couples therapy interventions are designed to bring partners together and increase intimacy between individuals who have been experiencing emotional distance. Marriage counseling and couples therapy are two options that can help couples enjoy deeper connections and more secure attachment. The therapist may prompt couples to learn each other’s love language, practice expressing gratitude, engage in reflective listening when sharing intimate thoughts, spend quality time together, and develop better communication skills. It is normal to experience issues in a relationship, so these couples therapy or marriage counseling techniques can help you overcome these challenges for a healthier relationship.
What is the difference between couples therapy and couples counseling?
Couples therapy tends to delve into the past to uncover and address unhealthy relationship patterns, whereas couples counseling may focus on specific challenges in the present. Furthermore, couples therapy can provide a deeper understanding of recurring issues, while couples counseling often offers tools and strategies to tackle immediate concerns. Both couples therapy and marriage counseling can be valuable resources for couples who want to improve their communication and build a healthier relationship.
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