Here’s How To Gain More Willpower And Self-Control

Willpower and self-control are closely related concepts that can both contribute to helping you build positive habits and reach your goals. Whether you’re trying to exercise more, procrastinate less, save money, or write your novel, willpower and self-control will likely be important in helping you resist temptation and stay on track. Here’s what you need to know about where willpower and self-control come from, plus strategies that may help you increase both.

Self-control versus willpower

According to the American Psychological Association, willpower is “the ability to carry out one’s intentions,” and self-control is “the ability to be in command of one’s behavior and to restrain or inhibit one’s impulses”—especially for the sake of a long-term goal.  As an example of these concepts in action, say you’re trying to save up some money to pay off your credit card bill. Turning down an invitation to an expensive concert with friends could be considered a form of self-control in the short term. Continuing to save money by resisting impulses to spend over the next few months until you reach your goal could be a display of willpower. To put it another way, you can think of willpower and self-control as abilities that fuel each other.

Where does willpower come from? 

Plenty of research has been done on the concept of willpower specifically, but findings from over the years have been somewhat mixed. Originally, the theory of ego depletion was widely believed, which posits that willpower is a finite resource. In other words, if you use a lot of it, you’ll later be less able to resist temptation until you recharge your low reserves. However, critiques of past studies that supported this claim have emerged in recent years, and newer evidence suggests a different view of willpower altogether. 

Now, many look to studies that reflect the potential power of individual belief in matters of willpower and self-control. Newer research has suggested that if a person believes their willpower is unlimited, they’re likely to have more of it available to use. In contrast, if a person believes that their willpower is finite and will be depleted after a day where they had to exercise lots of it, they’re more likely to give into temptation. 

Tips for increasing your willpower and self-control to achieve your goals

So although it may be true that people who believe willpower is unlimited could have an easier time finding it, that doesn’t mean it’s as easy as simply wishing it to appear. Belief might be the first step; implementing techniques and strategies to help set yourself up for future success could be the second. Consider the following tips for boosting willpower and self-control so you can achieve your goals. 

Set realistic goals

First things first: If the goal you’re trying to achieve is not realistic, how much willpower or self-control you have is unlikely to matter much. That’s why setting specific, attainable goals is usually the first step toward achieving them. 

For instance, setting a goal to get an hour of exercise every day for the next year is unrealistic, since you’ll need rest days, sick days, and some level of flexibility for other obstacles that may come up—regardless of how much willpower you have. Instead, setting a goal to attend a workout class three times a week, for instance, could be both more specific and more realistic.

Plan for how to handle temptation

Avoiding temptations that could derail you from your goals is usually helpful—such as not keeping cookies and candy around the house if you’re trying to cut back on sugar. However, it’s not possible to avoid temptation in every scenario. Making a plan beforehand about how you’ll handle it could increase your willpower in the moment. If you’re trying to avoid alcohol, for example, you could decide on the exact words you’ll say to decline if offered a drink at a party, and you could have a plan for a non-alcoholic drink to ask for instead.

Get enough sleep

Not getting enough quality sleep can impact your cognitive function in many different areas. As one study on the topic reports, it can decrease your attention span, your decision-making abilities, and your risk of “succumbing to impulsive desires.” That’s why making it a priority to get enough rest regularly could help you act with more willpower and self-control.

Manage stress in a healthy way

The experience of psychological stress activates the body’s fight-or-flight response, which automatically devotes our cognitive resources toward dealing with the perceived threat at hand. As a result, one 2021 study reports, the stress response is associated with “an increased tendency to act in an impulsive manner” and a negative impact on decision-making abilities. So while this impulsivity may help us react in an acutely stressful emergency situation, chronic stress from work or life responsibilities can negatively impact our ability to resist temptation on the road to our goals. That’s just one of many reasons why finding healthy ways to manage stress levels can be beneficial.

Practice mindfulness 

Mindfulness means being aware of the present moment—including your current thoughts, feelings, and surroundings—without judgment. Practicing mindfulness over time may help you increase your level of awareness, which can make it easier to recognize an impulsive feeling before acting on it. Research suggests that mindfulness may help decrease stress levels and decrease impulsivity, so it could be worth practicing as you work toward your goals.

How therapy can help you work toward your goals

Willpower and self-control are cognitive abilities that can be influenced by many factors. If you’re looking for support in increasing your willpower or self-control, a therapist may be able to help. For instance, they could help you find healthy ways to manage stress, support your mindfulness journey, and address any mental or emotional causes of sleep disturbances. If you’re experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition that may be impacting your willpower or your overall well-being in some other way, they can address these as well. They can also simply act as a source of accountability and support on the road to achieving your goals.

Whether you prefer to meet with a therapist in person or online is typically up to you, as research suggests that both methods can offer similar effectiveness. That said, many people find online therapy to be a more convenient and comfortable option. With a platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging from the comfort of home. Plus, you can get matched with your provider within 48 hours after filling out a brief questionnaire, so you don't have to research local therapy offices, call to see if they have availability, spend time on the waitlist, and commute to appointments each week. Regardless of the format you may choose, qualified therapists are available to support you.