Think Less About How To Make Him Worry About Losing You: Try These 18 Ways To Make Him Feel Loved

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated October 25, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

If you're in a relationship, whether new or long-term, you may wonder how to help your partner feel appreciated and believe they are loved and accepted by you. Being able to be confident in your affection and care may increase the connection between you and give your partner a sense of contentment and safety that makes them feel special and loved.  

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18 ways to show your partner you love him

Although there are many ways to make a man feel loved and show how much you care, 18 ways to show your partner the love you have for him are outlined below. Everyone is different, so use your knowledge of your partner's personality, hobbies, and preferences to decide which tips to use to make your spouse or boyfriend feel loved. 

Be spontaneous

Being unpredictable and spontaneous may offer a fun way to connect with your guy and experience new activities. Instead of following a typical routine and engaging in predictable weekend activities, try switching it up. For example, when he gets home from work, try taking him to a new restaurant to eat rather than cooking. Surprise him with his favorite meal, drinks, or dessert and suggest a trip you might enjoy. Spontaneity could also spice up a relationship that has fallen into a rut.

Express love daily

People express love differently, and knowing how your partner prefers to receive love can be beneficial. Taking the five love Languages test together can help you form a closer bond. Below are a few examples of ways to offer love based on the five love languages: 

  • Physical touch: Hold hands, hug, put your arm around him, cuddle at the movie theater, have a prolonged kissing session, give him a massage, scratch his back, put your hand on his shoulder in public, play with his hair, kiss his forehead 
  • Words of affirmation: Write a meaningful note or letter, write a poem for him, send him loving texts throughout the week, send a good morning and goodnight message, tell him how much he means to you, tell him why you love him randomly, compliment him, let him know how you’re proud of him
  • Acts of service: Do the dishes, clean up the house while he's at work, take out the trash, fill up the tank in his car for him before work, offer to pay one of his bills, give him a gift certificate to his favorite store, give him a massage, offer to support him when he's stressed
  • Gift giving: Buy thoughtful gifts, DIY a gift, consider his interests and past gift requests when buying a gift, decorate the wrapping paper or bag you put the gift in, write a letter or love note along with the gift, make a playlist of his favorite songs, consider a personalized gift
  • Quality time: Go for a walk together, put your phone down when you're together, plan a full date from start to finish, keep the conversation flowing when you're together, remember his favorite activities and book them for you to partake in together, watch his favorite TV show together, watch him play video games, play video games together 

Be open and honest

Honesty can be essential in a healthy relationship. To foster healthy communication, try to be open about your feelings. Honesty may not only be about avoiding lies but also about speaking up when you have concerns. Even when challenging, expressing your feelings can give your partner insight into who you are and what's important to you. Being open with him can allow your boyfriend or husband to be vulnerable with you in return. 

Have open communication with him

Communicate with your partner often and productively. Even when a challenge seems small, keep the lines of communication open. Not talking about issues can often lead to more significant disagreements in the future. Communication can mean ensuring you're understood and that you understand your partner as well. Healthy communication is open, honest, frequent, and involves talking and listening. Trying to hear what he says without judgment or defensiveness could help him feel respected and see that you love him.  

Make compromises

Be prepared to compromise. Try not to worry about who is right or who "wins" the argument, but rather what can bring the two of you closer. You can instill trust in your relationship by working as a team through conflict and hurt. Though it may be difficult to compromise, it can be rewarding. By taking responsibility, listening, and engaging with your partner healthily, you can show him you're safe to talk to when you disagree. 

Cultivate positive qualities

Positive qualities could include kindness, affection, patience, friendliness, and understanding to help your boyfriend feel special and accepted by you. By treating him with respect, you may show him he can be his authentic self. It is normal for people to have difficult days, and it's not your responsibility to force a smile if you don't feel happy. However, practicing gratitude and keeping a positive outlook on life may reduce the chances of negatively impacting your partner. 

Take care of yourself

Self-care can be emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, and social. By taking time to be independent, practice self-care, and partake in your hobbies, you can improve your own mental and physical health. The healthier your relationship with yourself, the more you may offer in your relationship with another person. In addition, it can reduce how much you might rely on your partner for support. 

Accept his friends and family

Your partner's friends and family may seem like an extension of him. If he's close with them, they might be a crucial aspect of his life, happiness, and health. If you're not fond of his friends and family, try to notice and support why your partner loves them. Accepting and respecting your partner's social network is also a way to make a man feel that you love and accept him. Allow him to have agency in his world and give him the space he needs to maintain the interpersonal relationships he wants.

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Be his best friend

The word "best friend" can carry several meanings. Being your partner's best friend could mean being available to offer comfort and discussion when you are emotionally able. It could look like offering your support when he's going through a challenging time. Additionally, it may mean having fun together and valuing each other's significance. When your relationship is built on a foundation of friendship, it may help you thrive together and make your boyfriend feel supported. 

Handle conflict together

It can be normal for couples to disagree. How often you argue or what you disagree about may not matter as much as the strategies you use to diffuse conflict. It can be vital to engage in disagreements respectfully. It can be difficult to recover if you are unkind to your partner in a moment of emotional intensity. Some may find that waiting until emotions cool down offers a moment to think healthily about conflict and problem-solve. Try to remember you’re on the same team. Disagreements can be handled together to find a solution and not to "win."

If one of you has made a significant mistake, it may be difficult to see the conflict as "two against the problem" because one person has made an error. In these cases, some couples benefit from participating in relationship coaching or talking to a licensed psychologist, especially if a partner struggles to admit to their error or apologize. 

If you have made an error, consider making a sincere apology with the following steps:

  • Avoid asking for a favor during your apology.
  • Apologize once instead of multiple times.
  • Apologize because you know you made a mistake, not because you want others to drop their accusations.
  • Don't apologize if you didn't make a mistake.
  • Don't offer grand gestures of love or kindness during your apology, as it may be a form of "love bombing."
  • Be understanding if the person doesn't accept your apology.
  • Ask how you can repair your relationship, if necessary.
  • Give the other person or people space to consider your words.
  • Don't accuse or blame others, even if they also made mistakes.
  •  Don't ask for their apology in return. 

Maintain your independence

Though you may love spending as much time as possible with your partner, some space can be healthy in a relationship. By spending time on your own or focusing on other relationships in your life, you can give your partner the chance to have independence. If you are anxious without your partner or believe you can't spend time without them, it may be helpful to seek out counseling. Healthy relationships are assured and bonded, even when distant. 

Listen

Part of being an effective communicator is being an active listener. Making eye contact and listening to your partner's thoughts can create an atmosphere of love and comfort. Instead of listening to respond, try to listen to understand. After they talk, ask questions and repeat their concerns back to them to ensure you understand.  All people, including men, crave to be heard and understood. 

Be respectful

For a relationship to be healthy, it can be crucial for both partners to respect one another. Showing respect can mean not belittling, insulting, or abusing him. When you and your partner respect each other, it can create a loving environment that nurtures both of you. Showing respect can be a subtle way to make men feel loved and appreciated. 

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

Be consensually intimate

Frequent intimacy with your partner may help you build a stable and loving relationship. In addition, intimacy may not only mean sex. It can mean being affectionate in other ways, such as hugging, cuddling, kissing, talking, and spending quality time together. Contrary to stereotypes, men love those things, too. Holding hands when you walk down the street, leaning into each other, or giving a gentle squeeze while out to dinner can also be forms of intimacy. 

Always practice consent in sexual and physical situations. Being in a relationship or married does not automatically mean someone has consented to physical activity like sex. 

Engage in his interests

Couples often have areas in which they are compatible with each other. However, your partner may still have his own interests. Participate in his interests and show you care about them. For example, take him to a ball game if he likes sports. If he likes comics, take him to Comic-Con. Paying attention to the little details and engaging in his interests can make a man feel like you understand and love him. 

Show your appreciation

Try to show your appreciation for your partner by letting him know what he's doing well in the relationship. For example, perhaps you're grateful that he knows how to comfort you when you're down, thinks about you when he goes to the coffee shop, or always helps you walk the dog. When you appreciate his actions, it may show him you appreciate him and incentivize him to continue. 

Let him enjoy quality time with you

It can be easy to get distracted and miss things, especially with technology at your fingertips. However, being present at the moment can let your partner know he's special to you. When he's talking, give him your full attention. For example, if you’re watching TV or on your phone, try pausing or looking away while he’s trying to show something with you. Try to engage with his thoughts and feelings instead of dismissing them. 

Think less about how to make him worry about losing you and consider how he wants you to love him

At times, the easiest way to find out what makes your partner feel loved is to ask. He knows himself best, so asking can ensure you don't take action based on assumptions. You can ask, "How can I make you feel more loved this week?" or "What makes you feel safe and accepted by me?" 

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Support options 

Relationships can be fulfilling, but they can also be complex and confusing. Whether you're facing conflict or trying to figure out how to make your partner feel more loved, it may be beneficial to confide in a therapist. 

Some individuals and couples may benefit from trying online counseling, as it is more convenient and often more cost-effective. Online platforms like BetterHelp for individuals and ReGain for couples allow clients to meet with a provider from home. Depending on your preferences and needs, you can choose to speak with a therapist through video chats, phone calls, or in-app messaging. If you choose online couples therapy, you and your partner can meet with your therapist from different rooms, homes, or cities.  

Online therapy has also been proven effective. One study found that couples therapy delivered via videoconferencing could benefit relationships. Results showed improvements in relationship satisfaction, mental health, and all other outcome scores over time.

Takeaway

Romantic relationships are often meaningful, fun, and exciting. By continuing to put care and effort into your relationship, you can set yourself up for success. A counselor can help you implement skills to improve communication and confidence. Consider contacting a provider online or in your area to get started.
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