How do I recover motivation, enthusiasm and drive in my life?

Dear Wallaby,

I am so glad that you are reaching out and wanting some deep answers to this deep struggle.  It makes sense that you need a deeper answer than CBT.  CBT is meant for times in life that we are struggling with thought issues that are getting in the way of our wellness and forward movement.  It seems like this issue for you is deeper and more ingrained in who you are and what you find important and meaningful and filling.  That is a deeper work that we need different tools for. 

As I read your question, it seems like you might be looking for a therapist that you can sit with and work with, who will help you to work through the emotions and reality of where you are at right now and also to help you steer your life boat in the direction that you long for.  If that is the case, I wish you the best of luck in finding one.  If you were asking this question because you are wanting a meaningful answer in this "Ask a Licensed Therapist," I hope that my answer is helpful and guides you into the next steps that you need.  

As you shared, I think this issue right now, in your life, is really something that needs a bit more time, energy and space to be cared for and heard and valued and then stepped into.  You are struggling in a deep and meaningful way and this is something to really give some good space for.  

First of all, I think that you do need a guide to help you in this time.  This could be a therapist.  This could be a mentor that lives their life in a way that you see is healthy and that you see value and purpose in their life.  This could be a religious leader that you feel respects you and lives in a way that you value.  I believe that in these times of our lives where it feels like the world is taking us by the shoulders and saying that what we have been doing is not working any more ... we need to have some guidance, emotional and mental support to do something different.  It is challenging to take a different road, so having a guide will help you with that.  

I am glad that you have those friends that you talk to and open up and they listen to you.  That is so important AND it is so important to also have a space where it is solely for you and the space is meant to help you to move forward with your mental, emotional and bodily help.  

Secondly, it seems like you are facing some sort of crisis of identity and what is important in your life.  You are facing the reality of middle age.  You have done the career path in two different ways and have had success.  You have had enjoyment in traveling and living in many different places but now you don't feel like you belong in any of these places.  These are deep identity and emotional crises.  It is normal to have a period in our lives where we look at where we have been and feel like it is not helping us move towards where we want or need to be.  This is when we get to then face the truth of who we are and what we want in our lives.  This time of identity crisis can be very disorienting and painful.  It forces us to look at who we are.  It forces us to look at what we value and what is important to us.  This is very life changing to be faced with what we have done and feeling that we don't want to be there.  And then to not know where to go.  This challenge inside of you is part of living your best life.  When people face this kind of crisis of identity - if they are willing to be honest about these deep feelings and face them, then they can move towards their best life.  But that is painful to sit with these feelings and thoughts.  

Third, it is very important to seek to slow down and be present with yourself in this crisis.  When you slow down and be honest about these emotions, that is what will help you to move forward.  When you slow down and really listen to yourself, notice what is fulfilling as you slow down and really listen to yourself.  The crisis of what matters and where you belong, really gets moved through as you slow down and listen to yourself, to who you really are.  Slowing down is important for your forward movement. 

Lastly, this journey is not an easy journey.  It is not for the faint of heart.  Many folks face the same feelings and struggles that you are and then walk away to a life that doesn't wrestle these feelings out.  That leads people to then get lost in actions that are not fulfilling in the end.  If you are willing to wrestle out these feelings, you will find a powerful foundation in your life.  But it is hard work to really feel and look at these feelings.  So I encourage you to seek out a wise mentor, someone who listens, can hold space for all your feelings and thoughts and struggles and allows you to wrestle out what you are feeling, what you need and comes with you to that slowness that is needed at this time to help you listen and heal and move forward.  This journey will take some time.  Be kind and gentle to yourself as you feel some deep emotions.  Be kind as you think through your past choices and what you want to do with your future choices.  It is going to be a sweeter journey if you are kind to this struggle.  

I wish you good luck with seeking to be honest with yourself and with a wise guide.  
I hope this was helpful and that you can find a person you trust and can work with well!
Paula