Could it be emotional abuse?

Content/Trigger Warning: Please be advised that the article below might mention trauma-related topics that include types of abuse that could be triggering.

Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior that can include verbal abuse (yelling, insults, etc.), rejection (not talking to you, acting as if you do not exist), and/or manipulation (gaslighting).  The purpose of these behaviors is to exert control over the other through fear, isolation, and self-doubt.  People who experience emotional abuse often question their own reality, minimize their emotions, and can become dependent on the other to understand themselves, others, and the world around them.  In this way, the abuser has control over the abused and the cycle continues as the abuser's sense of control increases.  

In addition to self-doubt and the mental strain of being controlled, people who are abused might experience physical symptoms of pain, headache, stomach pain, sleeping problems, or other physical ailments.  Anxiety and depression may emerge in response to emotional abuse, along with low self-esteem or sense of worth.  Over time it can lead to developing dependency on unhealthy relationships or putting your own best interests aside as a "people pleaser."

So emotional abuse is used to control another, occurs over time, and evokes a response from the abused, such as, self-doubt, fear, or isolation.  If this describes what you are experiencing, then it could be emotional abuse.  

No one deserves to be abused in any way.  The good news is, whether it is a current relationship or a pattern in relationships, there are ways to learn how to recognize signs of emotional abuse in relationships, prevent gaslighting, and build self-esteem to enjoy healthy relationships.   

Working with a therapist can help to identify prior experiences or learned behaviors that may make a person vulnerable to emotional abuse.  Over the course of time, these experiences can lead us to develop unhelpful thoughts and beliefs about ourselves (I'm not good enough), others (people can hurt me), or the world (it is unsafe).  Therapy will work to identify, challenge, and shift (or replace) those unhelpful thoughts and beliefs with more beneficial ones.  Therapy can also work on building skills to maintain a balance in relationships to ensure both individuals are getting their needs met in addition to specific skills to use when asking for the other to meet our need.  

There are many types of therapy that can achieve this outcome.  Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Dialectical Behavior Therapy are common therapies to learn new skills and develop new thought patterns and can be relatively short-term.  Both look at a person who could benefit from learning some skills--not as someone who is broken.