How do you know you are mentally healthy after trauma and hurts?

Hello Sid,

Mentally heathy is mentally healed and what relationship has harmed, there are relationships that will heal.

How do we know we have that clean bill of mental health again following an emotional injury?  

It's tough to know really. Emotional injuries seem different than our physical wounds because we can't see them and we don't always know if they're healed "enough" until we experience something or someone again that evokes our emotions. Relational trauma can leave us emotionally raw for quite some time

UNLESS WE TAKE STEPS TO HEAL.

Your trust has been broken by others you gave time to, resources to, and sacrificed time you could have spent in other ways.  There is no way of getting that back. Have you allowed yourself to grieve that loss?

 What would Healthy Me today say to Healthy Me a few years ago?

What about your needs?  I don't know you, but I gather that you may be a protector. Someone that will place themselves at the back of the line so that others may benefit. For how long have you continued this pattern of giving?  And when you gave of yourself was there a part of you that hoped for someone to reciprocate?

When I mention the word "boundaries," what comes up for you?  Is it possible that your boundaries need to be reevaluated? A little more you and a lot less them. I'm sure this has occurred to you, but how to go about it? The reaction of other people after we double down on new boundaries is typically a poor one. "But you've always been..." may be words you've heard or you're about to hear. 

Another area to think about are your relationships and your personal fear of being abandoned. At what cost TO YOU were you willing to endure to hold onto relationships because you were ultimately afraid of rejection?  
I don't doubt others have been horrible to you. But I also want you to think about your role and your responsibility in allowing others to take advantage of your generosity. Be honest with yourself by asking if there was a part of you that suspected that these people had no intention of reciprocating, that these people never had your well being in mind and yet is it possible that you went ahead anyway and continued to give?  
If so, it's okay. You were trying to fulfill a need. The same need we all have. It's a need to feel loved, a need to be needed, and a need to matter. We are all in search of fulfilling a purpose and finding our meaning and that's what you were doing. 

Healthy Me, you won't know you're healed until you love again. You won't know unless you take the risk to engage in relationships and allow yourself to be vulnerable again. Is this scary?  Yes. Is it worth it. I think you know the answer. 

Stay Steady Healthy Me. Stand in your truth.

Saying yes to your health means saying no to other things.