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How to get rid of childhood trauma?

I have toxic parents. When I was younger, they fought almost every time they see each other. As I grew older, my mother would use all kinds of curses on me and my ancestors. They both would tell me repeatedly how worthless I am. Even though everything gets better now, there are times when they do something that would trigger my emotions. It’s hell when it happens. I felt like I went back my to horrifying childhood, and it’s terrifying. My childhood contributes to my low self-esteem and the problem of overthinking, which sets a great barrier for me growing into a person I want to be. This must not be like that any longer…
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Asked by Kenzie
Abuse
Family
Answered
10/19/2022

When processing trauma, it is useful to start with smaller trauma incidents and then build your way up to processing the bigger trauma. 

One exercise that might be helpful to process trauma is: Grounding the trauma. Recalling the trauma. Naming the trauma. Sharing the trauma.

In order to work through the childhood trauma or any kind of trauma, we must understand it, process it and find a way to heal from it. It sounds as though a lot of shame was put on you through making you feel incredibly worthless which resulted in a decline in your self esteem. It is important to work on and remember that YOU are the one in control. The inner child needs space to heal, and therapy would be one of the ways in which you could do this. Exploring your thoughts and feelings of what you went through as a child and acknowledging that you did nothing wrong will allow you to work towards acceptance and finding a place where you are able to separate the trauma from yourself. It will always be there as a part of your experiences but it does not define who you are.

Working through the idea that you are more than your trauma will allow you to reassert that control and remind you of how able you are to have gone through everything you did as a child and made it out as the person you are now. Acknowledging that you survived it all and are working on yourself is a form of an act of kindness to yourself. 

In addition to this, it would also be useful to work through the shame you hold from the introjects that were passed onto you. Whilst healing and learning to separate the trauma, you can also begin to think about the shame that is with you and hold it as not being yours but it is someone else's shame that was put on you. This is not fair on you to hold and it might be a good time to think about how to put the shame down and disown it.

Finally, in order to do this you must be kind to yourself and give yourself space to grow and learn that this is not your fault. You are worth more than your trauma and you are strong. Giving yourself positive affirmations that you tell yourself daily will support the change in your mindset.