What about abuse causes narcissism?

Transgenerational or intergenerational abuse, violence, or trauma passed from one generation to the next, can often contribute to narcissism. Most researchers agree that personality disorders often arise due to a combination of both genetic and environmental factors. Some studies have found genetic predisposition to sociopathy, psychopathy, antisocial personality disorder, and/or narcissistic personality disorder. However, there does not appear to be one single gene contributing to any of these diagnoses. Brain scans of individuals with increased sociopathy also show lower responses to emotionally charged images or words than most normal individuals.

However, most research focuses on environmental factors that have been linked to increased narcissism and decreased capacity for empathy. For individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), there is often a major disruption in the relationship with the caregiver due to abuse, neglect, or abandonment. Other causes might be, according to writer Julie Hall, “inconsistent, or negligent care; emotional, psychological, physical, and/or sexual abuse; persistent judgment or criticism; fluctuations between idealizing and devaluing; anxious smothering or overpraising; rigid, superficial, or otherwise unrealistic expectations” (Hall, 2019, p. 38). Children who suffer from abuse or neglect learn that love is conditional and learn that they must play a role, conform, or be obedient to be safe or survive. Often narcissism creates a more distinct or sharper division between the true, authentic self and the false self or persona, which is the image or mask we present to the world.

If the child’s psychological and emotional needs have been neglected, the child might also learn to emotionally disconnect from others and develop deficits in empathy or navigating relationships. The child may develop cognitive empathy, which is the intellectual understanding of another individual’s feelings without the emotional/feeling aspect of empathy. Furthermore, the child who was neglected or abused that begins to grow into an adult develop narcissistic traits, such as becoming angry or irritated when someone expresses difficult or painful emotions or things don’t go their way, using others as a means to an end rather than respecting others’ autonomy and dignity, or needing to receive constant praise or validation. The narcissist might feel shame or vulnerability but will disown these feelings by projecting them onto another individual. This person might erupt with anger, frustration, violence, or withdrawal if their expectations aren’t met. Tapping into cognitive empathy and bypassing emotional empathy can contribute to behaviors that allow individuals to become effective at manipulating or exploiting others. Narcissism exists on a spectrum, but individuals who meet the criteria for a narcissistic personality disorder may consciously or unconsciously act in an abusive manner or cause emotional pain to those around them.