How do stop taking my anger out on the person I love the most?

Hi there,

Seeing that you have reached out, knowing that it is not the correct response to take things out on loved ones suggests that you are sincere in wanting to change and become a better you. Hurting the person you love the most is not the healthy way to deal with life's stresses. Acknowledging this yourself and expressing that you are unhappy regardless of your achievements suggests there is more going on that may need to be unpacked. Therapy may be the way to do this, by eliciting and promoting healthy responses and change.

To answer your question, I would suggest seeking out a counsellor that has an expertise in counselling people with anger and/or stress related issues. If when you have developed this relationship and it's one you feel comfortable in, perhaps look more into what it is that is making you unhappy?

As therapists we tend to look at the bigger picture of our clients world and not always just the forefront presenting issue/s. Clients often find that there are many attributing factors in their lives that lead into what it is that brings them to therapy in the first place.

I would also perhaps suggest to the person that you are "taking your anger out on." that you are working towards changing yourself for the better and are seeking a way to stop this behaviour. It may also be valuable for yourself to keep that relationship with that individual healthy.

Anger is such a complex emotion/response to our environments. It is also an easy one for people to go to when trying to understand the more complex feelings and thoughts that are going on in that moment. 

Often the feeling that people feel in moments of "Anger" is frustration. That frustration is often easier for people to respond with than pausing and trying to understand what it is that they are truly feeling or thinking. In counselling, a natural result of a healthy therapeutic relationship is for the client to start to be able to pause, unpack and express what they are truly feeling to loved ones which is the healthy way to deal with these situations.

I hope this answer helped. Well done for reaching out.