Where do I start as far as coping so that I'm able to control my anger and hurt

Hi Kristyn.  Thank you so much for taking that first step and reaching out for help.  I know this can be a hard thing to do.  There are coping skills you can implement to manage anger, mood, and decrease stress and anxiety.

Meditate and relax by sitting quietly in a room.  Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.  Focus on breathing cool air in through your nose and exhaling warm air through your mouth.  This type of relaxation will calm your mind and body.

Journal to self reflect and identify your thoughts. This will allow you to understand triggers and realize unhelpful and irrational thoughts.

Spend time outdoors in nature, get sunlight.  Go for a walk to increase endorphins.  This will help boost mood and decrease anxiety.  

Practice mindfulness and gratitude.  You will notice the positives in life and appreciate the small things.  This will reduce negative thoughts, helping to heal your mind, body, and spirit.

Manage anger by naming your feelings.  Validate your thoughts and emotions.  Anger can be constructive.  Anger is a natural, healthy emotion.  Respond rather than react to a person or situation.  Channel that energy to uncover what makes you feel passionate and strong.  Take a moment, breathe to process what is causing anger.

It's important to process past trauma.  The results of unresolved trauma can include anxiety, misdirected anger, health issues, chronic stress, suppressed emotions, poor coping skills, difficulty communicating, and conflict in interpersonal relationships.  

A trained, experienced trauma counselor can help you identify triggers and isolate where the anger is stemming from.  You will meet with your counselor virtually in a safe space free of judgment.  You will develop healthy coping mechanisms.  Your counselor will establish rapport and build trust with you so you can feel safe to explore your past and work to process and resolve the trauma you have experienced throughout your life.  

Please keep reaching out for help and support.  By recognizing the trauma and working towards healing you will learn how to move forward on a path to mental well being and emotional stability.  There are resources and supports out there for you.