Can you help me? What to do?

Every time I go out or be around people I get very nervous where I leave. I feel like I might have bad anxiety. I want to go to the doctors but I get very nervous to even go
Asked by Abby
Answered
12/21/2022

Hi Abby, 

Thanks for writing about your anxiety and not being able to leave your home.  This is important to discuss, as social anxiety effects 15 million people in America and is the second most commonly diagnosed anxiety disorder following specific phobia.  What I would like to suggest to you is that you don't have to live with this paralyzing fear and you can get help, even if leaving your home to see a doctor is difficult.  

There are several ways to manage your anxiety, including coping socially, emotionally, and day-to-day strategies.  First of all, I would like to suggest to you that you can see a medical provider online to get an assessment and a treatment recommendation.  Now, more than ever, psychiatrists will carry on a practice online.  Counseling services are also online here through betterhelp.com and other platforms.  Ask your provider if they offer this service online. 

Many people who struggle with social anxiety could often benefit from self-help strategies to boost self-confidence and assertiveness skills.  Becoming more aware of your own verbal and non-verbal communication could help you with feeling more confident and self-assured.  Sometimes mindfulness skills, such as breathing techniques, can help reprogram your mind to feel comfortable, despite the triggers you are experiencing.  

The idea of therapy is to gain insight and awareness into some thought patterns that may be distorting your reality and contributing to you feeling anxious.  Cognitive distortions can be explored to figure out what might be getting in your way.  The more you understand how your brain has learned to cope with triggers, the more choices you will have in responding differently to those triggers.  

Something to keep in mind is that your brain and body is designed to keep you alive and comfortable.  These are not systems that are working against you, but for you.  If your brain is perceiving the world as a threat, you might be in a state of fight/flight/freeze all the time.  That builds a lot of anxiety and stress.  Through counseling, you will learn ways to calm down that anxiety response and stay grounded in your body, knowing you are safe, and can handle the world. 

There is a better way to live, Abby, and I want to encourage you to seek therapy so that you can learn and practice healthier ways to approach and handle your triggers with guidance.  

(LPC, LISAC, NCC)