How can I deal with daily anxiety/stress?

Thank you for the question, and for sharing your situation. The image you paint is certainly striking! I can understand how anxiety-provoking it must be to feel isolated and alone, drowning in your own thoughts! And you are absolutely correct that anxiety and stress can produce physical symptoms, as our body reacts to what our mind perceives as a threat. Shortness of breath, racing heart, headaches and even chest pains are all commonly associated with anxiety, with the production of cortisol and the “fight or flight” response. Your gastrointestinal problems may very well be your body’s way of communicating stress, as you suspect, but of course it is wise to get checked out by your healthcare provider as a first step. Bloating and stomach pain can be symptoms of several different physical conditions, unrelated to simple anxiety or stress. I encourage you to discuss these symptoms with a trusted doctor, to rule out a medical problem that may require attention.   

Once your doctor has given you the all-clear, there are a number of strategies and techniques that have been demonstrated to be effective in reducing and managing anxiety. Many are grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) models. I will describe a few techniques below, and I encourage you to look further for more detailed information, if any seem particularly helpful. If you are working with a therapist, they can also certainly help you identify opportunities to incorporate these in your daily life and practice them so that your anxiety is more manageable.

1. Change your environment 

Your environment includes not only work and home, but also your physiological environment. Are you getting enough sleep? Is your diet reasonably well-balanced? Are your personal relationships fulfilling? Addressing issues in these areas will be important to lessening anxiety and stress.

You mention the lack of social interaction in your environment. For some, finding more time for quiet moments and solitude may be a stress reliever. However, your vivid description of how painful it is to have limited interaction with others suggests that you are more of an extrovert, and draw energy from being with people. It sounds as if you suspect the feelings of loneliness and isolation are a major contributor to the anxiety, if not causing it outright.  So for you, “changing your environment” may mean looking for ways to build in regular contact with people. Even small changes can help: Volunteer to show the new person around. Use break times to call your friends (and mark your calendar so you don’t forget to do it). Take your lunch in the break room and use the opportunity to introduce yourself to others and strike up a friendly conversation. If you are working remotely or your work schedule makes gathering with friends difficult, avoid the temptation to surf the web or collapse in front of the TV at the end of the work day. Going to public places such as a market, museum, park, or gym can dampen feelings of isolation and loneliness, even when you are on your own. Remember during the pandemic, when many people made multiple trips to the grocery store during the week, regardless of whether it was needed, just to be in the presence of others? We are social animals. 

2. Manage (don’t ignore) your body’s fight or flight response

“Powering through” stress and anxiety or trying to medicate it away isn’t an effective long-term strategy and as you have noticed, it can have a real impact on your physical and mental well-being.    

Physical interventions that help your body stand down from the fight or flight response include: 

- relaxation (controlled, belly) breathing

- stretching and yoga

- physical exertion (a workout or simply climbing the stairs at work)

- visualizing calming scenes and positive images

- progressive muscle relaxation

- mindfulness exercises (grounding techniques such as focusing, one sense at a time, on the present)

Detailed, step-by-step instructions on how to perform these techniques are available on the Mayo Clinic website (mayoclinic.org), the National Alliance on Mental Illness site (nami.org), Healthline (healthline.com) and many others. Try them and notice if they lessen your GI symptoms - and improve your mindset!

3. Challenge your thoughts

A situation or even a thought may trigger anxiety, which can lead to an escalation of anxious thoughts and feelings. Observe your thoughts over several days. (A digital text or audio journal can be helpful for capturing them.) Look for patterns that may help you understand how the anxiety perpetuates and escalates. Notice the messages you replay in your head throughout the day (“self-talk”). Is it positive or negative? Encouraging or discouraging? Growth mindset or fixed mindset? Practice thought-stopping and resilience thinking. Winona State University is an excellent resource for learning more about these techniques (winona.edu/resilience/mindset.asp) and offers free worksheets and guidelines.

4. Express yourself

Whether it takes the form of music, drawing, painting, photography, working with clay or even cooking, creative expression can be a wonderful outlet for stress and anxiety. Don’t listen to the little voice that may try to convince you that you “don’t have talent” or that the time invested is not worthwhile. The end result is far less important than the experience.

Thank you again for submitting the question and the thoughtfulness of your approach. I hope these practical tips will spark some ideas for how to reduce your stress and anxiety, both in the short-term and in the long-term. Take care.