Ask a therapist > Anxiety > How do I stop overthinking everything until i’m sick or talk myself out of it?

How do I stop overthinking everything until i’m sick or talk myself out of it?

This ranges from jobs and careers, distancing myself from friends and family, not telling people things when they have hurt my feelings or done something i do not agree with. For example, I will pen myself in my room and only go out once or twice and just overthink issues. i’ve gone as far as to talk myself out of career paths I have worked for but then don’t do them. I apologize if this is all over the place I have never done something like this before.
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Asked by Monro
Anxiety
Worry
Answered
10/20/2022

Hello Monro,

Thanks for reaching out and being willing to ask this question! Often times overthinking is a sign of higher levels of anxiety. In life, our experiences with other individuals can begin to shape us and cause us to withdraw.

It sounds like you are non-confrontational and afraid of letting others down or possibly upsetting them. The difficulty with this type of response is that it can lead you to feel anxious, overwhelmed, and uncertain. It causes you to also consistently replay conversations and situations that are not always as bad as you are thinking that they are.

One way to help you overcome this is to ask yourself if these situations are irrational or non-irrational. Meaning; is this concern or worry a real situation that is likely to be true? Or is it something that you are worried about that is not even happening or even going to happen? Not being honest and open with other individuals can often lead you to feel uncertain and insecure.

Another way to help with this would be to examine your personal boundaries. What are your standards in life? How do you want people to treat you? What do you believe in and are unwilling to change for someone else? When you have clear boundaries it is easier to be honest and open. It is also easier to say how you are really feeling to others. Likely there are situations where the other person has no idea they have even done something to upset you. Life decisions become easier when we have clear boundaries as well! There are several podcasts and TED talks you can google in regards to this!

I encourage you to really look at what it is you want out of life and who you want to become. This will only further help you to feel secure and able to have difficult conversations when needed. It also will help you define your career path and know which direction to go! Being able to write out your 1, 3, and 5 year life goals may help you with this as well!

If you would like to schedule a session to discuss further please let me know! I hope you found this helpful.

Dawn VanBuskirk, MSW, LCSW, Therapist for BetterHelp

(MSW, LCSW)