How to get rid of anxiety?

Hi Q, thank you for reaching out and taking the time to ask about your concerns. 

I can assume that there is a lot of stress and anxiety going on. I don’t fully know the source of it but I can provide some common things that may trigger anxiety and ways that we can cope with it. The way people perceive any given situation influences their emotions and behavior. It is not necessarily the situation itself that determines how they may feel, but rather the way they interpret it. I usually give the example of watching a horror movie. I can sit through it and allow myself to be scared, or I can avoid it at all costs and walk away from the room that’s playing the movie. The movie did not change in both scenarios but how I felt and reacted did. I can imagine that your anxiety may be both physical and thoughts based.

When it comes to our thoughts, I understand that at times we feel powerless against their effects and don't always know how to challenge them “in the moment.” If you catch yourself ruminating (thoughts are excessive and intrusive about negative experiences and feelings) or having a one-sided conversation in your mind, then perhaps it's a good time to change aspects of your routine. When we don’t feel like we have control over how we think, it helps to do something physical. This could mean getting up to get a glass of water, going to go get the mail, or perhaps going on a short walk.

Recognizing what you tend to ruminate about will also help you stop the toxic anxiety trap. Ask yourself these questions and see if it's helpful to catch yourself and perhaps disrupt the pattern.

-Which time of the day are you most likely to ruminate?

-Where are you when you tend to ruminate?

-What kinds of activities are you doing when you ruminate?

-What do you commonly ruminate about?

These thoughts are energy-draining and distressing. They could happen to anyone under stress. But when you reach the point where your thoughts and worries are preventing you from doing what you want to do then you should take action. As a reminder, thoughts are not facts, and that we have many thoughts that come to mind on any given day. Reframing negative thoughts can lead to positive emotions and, healthier behaviors including a reduction in overthinking and worrying. It's a good thing to have some sort of social interaction to help us with intrusive thinking. This helps us maintain connection and release some of the build-ups of emotional turmoil that come up for us every so often. I’m not sure if your thoughts include looking for things that have gone "wrong," "bad," "difficult," or "need to improve." I often hear that it's a relief that someone is going to cancel plans on them, it makes me wonder what is it that we are avoiding. This is a common thing that happens when there is perceived pressure and perhaps worry or fear. I'm not sure if this is what you are experiencing but is there something that you are avoiding with your friends? If so, addressing those worries the same way that we challenge our thoughts can help you feel less pressured when in social situations.

I know that I included a lot of information, but ultimately, I want you to know that despite how difficult things are with your anxiety, you can find improvement and a sense of calmness.