How will therapy go if I can’t seem to hold a conversation very well?

Hi there-

First, try to be gentle with yourself in regards to your fear of being in social situations. Depending on past experiences, this can be normal. It is also possible to overcome this fear. It does sound like you may be struggling with anxiety to some degree. Anxiety can make it difficult to hold conversations due to constant fear of saying the wrong things, not having words to describe your thoughts/feelings, etc. This is again normal. And it is something that you can work through. 

Therapy can absolutely help you learn how to engage more comfortably in social situations and with your partner. Yes, it can be scary to open up to a stranger, and therapists are trained to help you learn how to open up and how to communicate. There is no right way to "do" therapy. Therapy is based on the individual and what each individual needs. Your job is to show up and be as honest as you can be with the therapist. 

Think of therapy as being practice. It's practice for real life. Your therapist is like your coach. They are there to teach you skills and then hold space for you to practice those skills in a nonjudgmental setting. Therapy is a space where you can be yourself without the fear of judgment. Therapists are unbiased individuals who are not personally involved in your life, which means they will be able to see things you might be blinded to based on your circumstances. 

Have you ever tried writing a letter to your boyfriend to explain your difficulty with opening up? Sometimes writing things out can be easier than saying them out loud because when you write, you have the time and space to correct any perceived mistakes. You also have the time you need to fully express yourself without feeling the pressure from another person to talk. You could either give the letter to your boyfriend or you could reference it as notes for a one on one conversation with him. 

I would recommend starting in therapy to address the social fears you have and the difficulties you experience in holding conversations. A therapist could also help with your relationship. It might even be helpful to have a conversation with your boyfriend during a therapy session. Sometimes having an unbiased person in the room during a conversation this can help reduce anxiety surrounding conversations. 

I hope this helps and I hope you will reach out for help because you deserve it!