When processing past trauma and stress, how do I start to heal and move on from it?

Thank you for asking your question. It’s sad that you have so much trauma from your past. It’s understandable that it’s affecting your daily life, as trauma has a way of impeding on life. It’s good that you are aware of it and its triggers and are ready to continue your healing journey.  I wish you well with your healing.

Trauma can be treated so it has less impact on your life. A therapist who is trained in trauma-informed therapeutic approaches can help you with your recovery journey. So, if you have not reached out to BetterHelp to be matched with a trauma-trained and experienced therapist, I encourage you to do so.

As you decide about starting therapy, I suggest using your self-care and coping skills and developing more of those skills, so you fill your toolkit, so to say, with a variety of options. When you process past painful experiences, your coping skills will help you calm yourself and release some of the built-up emotions from your heart, mind, and body.  Deep breathing, using imagery, journaling, replacing negative thoughts with neutral/positive thoughts (altering your thinking), recognizing triggers and patterns, focusing on what you can control, and caring for yourself (healthy eating, proper sleep, exercise, etc) are some ideas to help proactively cope with stressful situations, thoughts, and past experiences. Also, reflecting on your personal strengths can help you achieve a more balanced view of yourself, as well as bring some of those strengths to help with your past trauma experiences when you begin processing and healing.

Another suggestion is to incorporate some other form of expressive medium, such as drawing, painting, writing song lyrics, or dance. The idea behind this suggestion is to release and explore your emotions through expression. This can be a creative way to ‘let out’ what you are experiencing inside currently regarding your past trauma and externalize it. It helps to release pent up and internalized emotions.

Self-care and coping strategies should be tailored to what works for you, as each person is unique. This may take some trial and error to find what is effective for you.

And, if addressing your current emotions through some of the above suggestions is too difficult right now, I encourage you to speak with a therapist who can help you work through your emotions and identify them, along with discussing the past experiences that may be triggering some of those feelings. He/she can help you strengthen your coping skills for when you feel an emotion intensely. And, as you talk with your therapist and work through your feelings, you may start experiencing more comfort and less distress. Working through your feelings is a process that may take some time, depending upon the intensity of your feelings. 

I wish you all the best on your healing path.

Dr. Sally Gill, LMFT