Ask a therapist > Anxiety > Why can't I get to the next level of life at my age?

Why can't I get to the next level of life at my age?

I know life has its ups and downs, and seems like I do the right right things in my situation/life, I know that I am not perfect or anything, and but I treat people, family, friends the way as expected. I see other people mistreat, lie, manipulate, and other things. Then they get promoted, better livelihood, and when I have done some of those things I get punished or left behind. Some people try to treat me as if I am mentally slow, and when they see I am not they get mad or frustrated. It has been like this a lot.
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Asked by Lando404
Anxiety
Ambition
Answered
05/31/2022

This can be a difficult question to answer. First, what do you see as the next level for you.  How much time and effort have you spent on achieving the next level.  You mention how others are promoted unfairly based on the fact that they are not always honest.  Unfortunately, life can be unfair.  It is not uncommon for there to be an appearance that people who take short cuts or behave inappropriately get ahead faster.  One question you must ask yourself is: do I want to be that kind of person?  From what you said, “I get punished or left behind” may indicate that mistreating people, lying, manipulating does not come very natural to you and are not who you are.  I would affirm you in saying that is a good thing.  Sometimes the people who get away with those things are not good people, that is who they are as a person.  From your question my guess is that is not the kind of person you want to be.  You can’t control what happens sometimes, but you can control you, your thoughts, and attitudes.  It is easy to get caught up in focusing on other individuals and stop focusing on ourselves.  Sometimes we think if only others would do or be . . ., then I could reach the next level.  The fact is others are not going to do what you think they should so you can succeed.  As long as you are waiting for others to change, you will not achieve the “next level”.  You have to take charge of you own life.

To get to the “next level” whatever that is, you must focus on you and what you can control. 

You can control your responses to situations.  You can begin setting goals to help you achieve the things you want to achieve.  You can control taking the steps you need to take to reach your goals.  When something does not work the way you want it to work, you control your response and whether or not you give up or try again, perhaps learn from your failed attempt and try a different approach.  You will never achieve anything in your own life as long as your focus is on others, or as long as you are depending on others for your success.  Take charge of your life today. Focus on what you can do today that will take you one step closer no matter how large or small that step is to achieving what you want to achieve in life.  

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Mark

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