Why do I have such huge drastic reactions to such small things that can be resolved easily?

Hello, 

One thing about our brains that people often take for granted is how smart and hard-working it is. Your brain is literally picking up data right now as you read this. You are reading and interpreting words while your brain is making sense of these arbitrary and non-sensical symbols that it knows represent something. Your brain's mechanism of thought (the way you think) is established by our genetic predisposition enhanced through environmental cues. In other words, if you come from anxious parents and then raised in an anxious household, you will view the world through that same formation of a brain. 

There is so much more with what we can call the subconscious that can be further discussed; however, what is important here is not what we notice but what we do not notice. Everyone has what is called "blind spots" in their thinking. I see things about people they don't know in a session, even though they are convinced they know everything about themselves. Just like in human interactions, the people listening to us may notice something more than we do. So, in that way of thinking, first, we have to be honest with ourselves and admit that our mind takes over sometimes, and we let it do its thing. 

Your reactions in life are based on the context in which they occur. When you have learned to "meltdown," it is because, in your world, you notice that relationships tend to leave or threaten to leave or something along those lines when people act a certain way. Remember, the brain is picking up data you are not fully aware of. The brain sees eye contact and body movements; it notices behaviors in life more than we can ever process, so we sometimes have judgments and impulsive decisions. 

What you can start to do with this self-awareness is to notice the thoughts that occur in interactions with people. Notice what your thoughts tell you and try to captivate you with. Notice that you listen and believe your thoughts. Remember this most of all, your thoughts are not you, and there is actually a deeper, more significant you that chooses to obey those thoughts or not. Remember that the brain produces thoughts from the context of the environment it knows. You may only know abandonment and relationships with contingencies. You may not know people who stick around or are consistent, and therefore how your mind reacts when it shuts you down may be appropriate for what you have learned about the environments you are and have been in. 

Notice your thoughts, and then notice your reaction to them. When something occurs, and you start to feel shut down, ask yourself, what am I feeling or thinking? Answer these questions. Please get to know your mind and how it works. Notice what your mind is trying to tell you. Your mind isn't going anywhere (despite how we may feel sometimes,) so it is beneficial for us to notice what our mind, our brain, tells us because from that we will form judgments and make decisions in life. 

Notice thoughts and then notice if you believe them or not. Suppose you do believe the thoughts that increase avoidance of social relationships. In that case, it is good to talk with a therapist to work through the beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world around us to aid in altering those beliefs, therefore changing thoughts and then altering actions. 

Sincerely,