Can I talk to someone now?

Hey there! You said that you were feeling depressed and wanted to talk to someone right away. You feel like an absolute failure in your life and think that talking things through might help.  

Well, therapy might be a good place to start, whether it’s through Betterhelp, or another agency. If cost is a concern, put your location + community mental health into google, and a low cost agency (who often works on a sliding scale with payment as low as zero), should pop up. I wish there was an easy, overnight magic wand type answer for you. I would also recommend seeing a psychiatrist! Doing therapy and medication management can help you learn about your symptoms and develop skills to heal. It’s not an easy path, but neither is the one you are on if I’m reading you correctly. If you need help right away, the crisis text line at 741741 might be a good place to start. You just text that number “start” and someone talks to you pretty fast. It’s a great way to get some help in the short term, and you don’t even need to be in crisis in that moment. The National Suicide Hotline is also a good resource, and again, you don’t have to be in crisis to reach out and benefit. And both are open 24 hours a day! And are free! Their number is 1-800-273-8255.

So what is therapy? How can therapy help you? Well, a worksheet that I like to use has the following information.

Psychotherapy is a process that many believe is shrouded in mystery, but it doesn't have to be that way. Therapists are normal people who usually chose their profession because they care about other people, they're good listeners, and they want to help.

 What does a therapist actually do, and how can they help me?

Therapists act as a neutral party who can listen and try to understand without judgment. Therapists help you learn about yourself by pointing out patterns and giving honest feedback. Therapists teach specific techniques and strategies to deal with problems. Therapists can refer you to additional resources in the community that might be helpful. Therapists provide a safe place to learn and practice social skills.

You won't be annoying your therapist, whomever you choose, by being present and working to change and grow as a person. It sounds like you have a lot going on, and therapy really can help you sort through everything. 

 

What are the limitations of psychotherapy?

Therapists should not tell you what to do or try to direct your life. Think of the proverb: "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach him to fish, and you feed him for life." Therapists will help you learn to solve your own problems, rather than solving them for you. Some mental illness cannot be managed by psychotherapy alone. If medication is recommended, it's probably important. Benefiting from psychotherapy does require work on your part. Speaking to a therapist for an hour a week, and then pushing it out of your mind, probably won't do you any good. Complete homework, practice your skills, and legitimately try the recommendations you are given. Therapists cannot be your friend after starting a therapeutic relationship. Therapists generally like their clients, and would love to get to know them better, but ethical rules prevent the formation of relationships outside of treatment. It isn't you, it's just that the therapist could lose their license! Therapists cannot read your mind. If you hide information, or are dishonest, you're wasting your own time and money.

Therapy is a great way to help you sort out the why’s and how’s behind your anxiety.

A therapist can help you figure out what you want to change, and work with you develop a plan for change. Anyway, I hope this helps you out and gives you some food for thought. I encourage you to reach out and talk to a therapist. I can pretty much guarantee that there is one out there who you will click with and can help you figure out how to grow and achieve your goals. Therapy can be expensive, but it's an investment in yourself.

An alternative to therapy might be downloading an app like Mindshift (which is free) or Unwinding Anxiety (which is subscription based). Both of these apps contain tools to help you learning calming skills to manage your physical symptoms (such as rapid breathing) and learn to quiet your mind. Google also contains a wealth of information on coping skills.

Ultimately, it’s hard to help you figure out what to do without knowing more about you and the situation. You’re in a tough spot, but you will get through this. You are not alone. Remember, you’ve survived 100% of your toughest moments so far in life. It’s okay to need some help to move forward.

I wish you the best of luck!